How often do you leave the house? Worried I’m a recluse

[Cantabulous]

I’m divorced, 62, with three adult DC, a dog and a DP I see four times a week, at my house. I’ve worked from home, effectively full-time (self-employed), for 25 years. I’m pretty healthy and happy, leaving aside the usual worrying about DC, but I’ve realised that I’ve sunk into a habit of basically only leaving the house to walk the dog, go to the gym or go to the corner shop. I see friends for a walk or coffee about five or six times a month, and visit my DC maybe once a month on average ( for a few days as they live some distance away). I travel to big conferences for work two or three times a year, and holiday for about three weeks a year.

should I be going out more? What are other people doing?

I completely agree. I have no desire to be normal. However, despite being happy, I do feel out of sorts and a bit directionless. This thread has helped me to understand that a bit better, that's all, and I'm grateful.

I think you have more friends and connections than I do..I think you need more cultural wonder? Like a trip to a gallery or a heritage site?

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

Sounds OK to me? I'm less social and younger! Though I'm ill at present so have less inclination to do things. And am not supposed to.

What do you feel you should be doing?

There are usually interesting events locally if you want to break it up a bit, like talks, organised walks or learning something new.

Agree. As well as our personalities, our (social, family, health, housing, financial, geographical) circumstances are often very different, and these make a big difference too. So most comparisons are therefore pretty pointless.

I think what made the big difference to me was reaching 60. Post menopause I suffered a bit with anxiety, not wanting to go out. Things that I should have looked to filled me with dread. For my 60th I promised myself a year of saying yes, and I have really enjoyed doing so many things I wouldn't have done before. I'm not talking swimming with dolphins or skydiving but simple things like theatre, shows, exhibitions,concerts etc. . If I don't have someone to go with I go alone. Now, I hate 'wasting' a weekend. I'm conscious that the clock is running down and there will come a time when these things will be more difficult and I am making the most of it for the moment. Having said all that, if you are happy with your level of socialising don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

When you have a long term illness you loose your friends and family. Eventually.

I opened this thread thinking I was going to read about someone who hides under the covers and never enters daylight. You sound normal to me, and probably on the active side compared to most posters.

I spent the past five years barely leaving home at all except for hospital appointments. I recently got a support worker who helps me go out every two weeks and this has been a huge change and like winning the lottery. I had got so used to staying in I wasn't really sure if I could be outside again but I knew I wanted to. Due to pain and exhaustion I can't manage much more than these fortnightly trips so it suits me.
I think what you are doing is completely fine.

Sounds fine. I’m out to the supermarket most days and in a month I go to appointments, post office, shops, other places when it’s necessary. I see friends about four times a month. I feel reclusive but that’s ok.

This post makes me laugh OP, I'm 62 and divorced, one DS. Why would I want to leave the house, I have everything I need here 😁
Quite honestly I'm sick of social events, trying to make more friends and hanging around festivals when I want to be at home. I don't need it.
Nobody says you have to be a social butterfly to be happy. If you lived near me I'd say come over for a coffee and a chat.
I have lovely neighbours my age and we often hang out.
My full time job is quite enough going out for me.

Well, it wouldn’t suit me, but you are, presumably, doing what you want? I appreciate having a dog ties you down somewhat, but I like living close to a city centre and being able to nip last-minute to the cinema, theatre, farmer’s market, pub etc. There’s a big festival on here at the moment, and some combination of DH, DS (12) and I went to four events over the weekend,

@Cantabulous Tbh, I have quite a busy work schedule right now which ends in a few months time. Once I am back in the usual pattern of work I have promised myself I will join a couple of evening classes and go back to live fitness classes and make more effort to see my friends. I have got a bit lazy and it really needs tackling.