I really don't like her..!

[Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

I've name changed for this because I have no idea if she uses this site (probably not!) and I would rather she wasn't able to recognise herself because I'm not actually a twat!

I'm just having a rant really because there's nothing else I can do about it.

I really, really don't like my partner's son's girlfriend. He and I have been together for 3 years and engaged for a few months. He has two adult children (as do i) who I really like and get on with well. His daughters partner of 5 years is lovely but his son's girlfriend of around 2 years is just someone I can't abide. For many reasons.

The problem is that he is very close to his children (well that's not the problem!) and we've been away for weekends all together, meals, nights out etc and she always comes. Of course she does - she's his son's girlfriend.

The main problem is this. I really can't stand being around her every time we see his kids and I don't want to go if she's there. The last couple of times something with his kids has been suggested, I've not gone because I don't want to spend time in her company.

I know that realistically I have no control in any of this and other than avoid going out with him and his kids there's nothing I can do.

But, God, she irritates me!

I usually just avoid people I don't like. How do other people do it?!

Yes, OP, I would push back when she is openly criticising - saying you ‘don’t think it’s kind or appropriate to talk about him in that way, that it’s not how couples should talk about or to each other,’ for example. If you push back, it may encourage his sister to do the same and highlight it to the son too. He may not even realise that she is doing it all the time, or know how to push back when sh does it to him in front of the family.

I think, if they’ve split before, they may again and this could resolve itself, but I think you need to try not to duck out of family things if you can bear it as it sounds as though someone needs to stick up for this lad. You DP needs to be less of a listening ear to her and be in his son’s corner.

May I politely just check she’s not a northerner and you have a different sense of humour? (Speaking as a northerner living down south 😂)

Haha, no, she's not a northerner

She is local to us. Which is not the North.

However, I have lived up north and what she is saying would still be considered rude.

BusyMummy001

I think the "not appropriate" angle is the best to take and, no, I dint think he realises

I think I would feel exactly the same OP. Would a way of dealing with it be to completely ignore and give no reaction to her comments? After she has had one of her shots at him, just sit quietly while she speaks, give absolutely no acknowledgment, reply or reaction to what she said then completely change the topic of conversation? She’s seeking a response/recognition so don’t give her one. Alternatively each time she makes a remark, stick up for him as a previous poster suggested in a light-hearted way, eg she says “Johnny forgot to book our holiday insurance, he’s useless” you could say something like “aww no he’s not! He’s very busy so it must just have slipped his mind, I’m sure he’ll get round to it”? So you’re not tackling her comments but you’re actively disagreeing with what she says in a way that can’t be challenged, and showing support for him? Good luck op, it must be very difficult to hear this.