Do men have similar emotions to women and hide them or just not have them?

[Fortheloveof83]

I’m just wondering why are we are so far apart emotionally? Do they have emotions and hide them or are they just not there?

As a women I get fed up for being told that I use emotions as a way of manipulating or wanting something. Why do men and a lot of women now say these things?

if men aren’t emotional why do they get angry?

As a women I get fed up for being told that I use emotions as a way of manipulating or wanting something. Why do men and a lot of women now say these things?

Someone who is telling you that you are using your emotions as a tool doesn't have your best interests at heart.

@WannabeMathematician it feels like that is the only emotion they are allowed to have or the acceptable one.

That's definitely not true of all men OP.

If you are being told this by a variety of men, I'd be rethinking my relationship selection strategies. If it's just one, it doesn't sound like a good relationship to be in.

Gendered socialisation still has a lot to answer for, having said that.

Men or women are not one homogeneous group of the same.

Some men are more emotionally in touch as are some women. Maybe the men you come into contact with are a particular type.

We also have the social problems around 'man up', 'boys don't cry' etc. More men commit suicide so perhaps they internalise worries due to societal expectations.

There are of course issues relating to hormones, perhaps a different debate.

Also different cultures have different expectations based on sex. There are lots of reasons really.

@Thisagainandagain yes I know they not a homogeneous group but I was generalising. I’ve not met a lot of emotionally attuned men in the UK culture.

Of course men experience the same emotions. It's part of being a human being.

I do think the stereotype that women are the emotional ones and men are the rational, logical ones is a bit twisted though. In my experience, generally speaking, it's women who are more logical, and men who are more sensitive and emotional.

They may not be very emotionally available or willing to talk about their feelings, but BOY do they have feelings! Massive, sensitive, feelings.

Please get far, far away from anyone who accuses you of being manipulative because you have emotions.

I guess I'm lucky then, because I have.

I don't think it's a male v female thing.

My DH is much more 'emotional' than me. My DF is much more 'emotional' than my DM. (If by 'emotional' we're referring to being moved to tears / wearing your heart on your sleeve).

I echo a pp - being angry is an emotion, but when people talk about someone being 'over emotional' they are usually referring to the stereotypical female emotions of upset / crying. Whereas I'd decribe someone shouting or thumping a wall in anger as being 'over emotional'.

Not all men are the same, and not all women are the same. In my experience - no, generally men don't hide their emotions. Based on my relationships and the men around me - all are quite open and honest.

All men are not the same, same as women

In normal life I find most men and women similar as in mostly calm and rational but it is on here it must seem amplified as I notice lots of dramatic writing threads and posts that sound neurotic and dramatic, maybe it is on a forum and they are not like this in real life but it is daily

My DH asked if ‘hungry’ is an emotion last night.

If they have them in abundance they certainly aren’t very aware of them or able to name any. I think some men stuff them down and block off any feelings. That’s how they fix and problem solve them.

Oh and whilst I think stats show more men die by suicide, I’m pretty sure (but not certain) that figure is for completed suicides and that women attempt suicide at similar rates but have lower completion rates.

There’s been some research around this but I don't have the time to fish for it this morning.

I am much more emotional than the average guy. I am happy to talk about how I feel with a partner or a couple of friends and am also happy to show my vulnerable side. I also think I am quite perceptive too. But then I am a cancer who are known for that.

Think of all the art created by men, the authors, the playwrights, the singer songwriters, the explorations of love, loss, fear,pain, joy, hope, despair.

You might generalise that men are less encouraged to share some of their emotions, they may be encouraged to push them down and get on with things (to their detriment), but it is a nonsense to suggest that men don’t feel.

Of course men experience emotions - it’s sexist to suggest otherwise.

I wish I’d had some of those men in my life.

In my not so extensive experience, they display anger or irritation when they feel many other emotions.

IME there is the male ego. Which can be identified as macho, hard, angry, uncompromising and controlling which is the one usually on display for the world.
However underneath the projected exterior facade there is something different entirely.
As women or close friends of men will know it is sometimes difficult to unmask the real guy.
A man who is in touch with his emotional truth is a rare find. As most men do not want to be seen as vulnerable.

Of course men feel emotions just as women do. Unfortunately, many are conditioned from a very young age to hide them. But in my experience they really do feel things as strongly as women do, but often don't express them as they don't want to feel vulnerable. It's good to find a man with strong emotional health, they are out there.

I find that men (on the whole) are better at compartmentalising, which probs comes into it?

Some people (of both genders) can be alexithymic - so they have emotions and to someone else are visibly upset/angry but they do not recognise it.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia

In the U.K. boys are discouraged from showing emotions (other than anger) but this doesn't mean they don't feel them.

It appears that we are both the same emotionally but men taught not to show them or how to identify them. Is it because women are seen as lower so therefore emotions which are connected to them are seen as lower so men don’t want to show them? I do feel for men.

My father in law takes the mick out of his son. My partner has an issue with hoarding ( it’s not terrible but I can see the pain when he throws something) I’ve wondered if this is where he has placed his emotions because in RL he doesn’t seem to have any. I’ve wondered because they must be there somewhere.

There is a documentary titled "The mask you're in" or something along those lines that investigated the macho cultural programming and conditioning of males in the USA.