He dumped me 3 months ago but now wants to see me...

[Welshiegreen]

Got dumped pretty ruthlessly 3 months ago by partner of 3 years. No explanation. I was heartbroken and went no contact.

He did the standard breadcrumb texts 'How are you?' etc for a while which I didn't reply to, until I outrightly told him to leave me alone.

A couple of nights ago I got a text asking me to please reply to him, which I did.

He now says he's been thinking about me a lot.

His most recent message reads...

"Would be good to see you when I get back from this trip 👀'

Is he looking for a way to have a conversation / meet to discuss the relationship and rekindle?

Or is he looking for a hook up?

You have the right idea. If he wanted to get back with you - he would have written you being explicit about his feelings, and making concrete plans to meet up. What you have is vague messages because he isn't sure he wants to get back. He just doesn't like the fact you are not begging for him back or falling for his bait. And trying to lure you in so (i) he has you as an option till he meets someone he's crazy about (ii) he doesn't have to worry he made a mistake - buying time to figure out what he wants.

Don't reply or allow him to mess you about. If someone wants to be with you, they will be.

Seeing as you're in conversation with him, I'd be inclined to reply "I don't think that's a good idea. Let's leave the past in the past where it belongs. All the best for the future."

he dumped you ruthlessly. That's all you need to keep remember. this is who is, a ruthless awful man.

Op I know it’s hard but even if he begged you for forgiveness it wouldn’t be enough. He isn’t good at articulating his emotions, dumped you in a horrible way, and now can’t communicate properly. Unless he was prepared to go to counselling to explore these issues he is never going to be a good partner. As I said above if you were to reconcile you’d always be on edge wondering if he’s happy because he’s unable to tell you.

This. There isn't a grovelling text in the world he could send that'll make him a decent person that didn't do this.

Op, the grass isn’t greener or he wants to get over the guilt feeling listening to a false you telling him all is good. If you tell him how much he has hurt you he’ll call you crazy. Take your pick.