Confused by this hookup with ex ?

[LexiAllen]

So I hooked up with a ex situationship. Before we hookedup he kept asking if I’ve kissed anyone since us and ifI’ve slept with anyone? I told him no and he kept tellingme “I don’t believe you just tell me the truth. I kept tellinghim no I haven’t, yet he kept pressing me about it. Iasked him if it’s because he’s worried about sexualdiseases. He said no I just want to know. Then he endedit with saying I don’t believe you. He even asked me to"swear to god that I haven't" After we got done hooking up he started texting me casually? He asked me where I ended up going that night after we hooked up.
later the next day he started telling me I left things in his car etc after we hooked up. I told him he could just toss it.. we texted a little bit after… and that was it.

He's used you for sex. Fair enough, you mention it was just a hook up but, was it? Are you secretly hoping it's signs he wants you back? Thinking all these questions are signs of romantic jealousy? They're not.

All his questions and not believing your answers are signs of an unhealthy mind and a controlling man who doesn't trust you.

Even if he is trying to open the door for you getting back together, he will be the one in charge of the relationship. You'll spend your time jumping through hoops trying to convince him you're a decent person that hasn't cheated and he'll be enjoying goading you and watching that process.

This is a rare occasion where I say block him and don't look back.

Seconded. This is one problematic bloke. Stay well clear.

I have never allowed anyone to quiz me like that. Only one bloke tried - years ago - I left straightaway.

So a man interrogated you about who you’ve been sleeping with and accused you of lying. Rather than tell him to F off you had sex with him.

So what exactly are you confused about?

This.

He was behaving like a dick and then you had sex with him. Then he let you know you had left stuff in his car.

I can't really see the confusion tbh.

How long had you not been together? Maybe he doesn't believe you wouldn't have met someone in so long?

3 months

3 months

What you should have said, is "none of your business".

And if he kept on, you should have told him to fuck off.

Do you actually want hook-ups with this guy, or are you hoping to be such a doormat he'll come back to wipe his feet on you?

Did you ask him if he'd been with anyone? Or did he tell you?

I did I told him “it’s none of your business and it shouldn’t matter”. He replied saying “ yeah I don’t believe you” . Then he said “you can ask me, I haven’t been with anyone since”. I replied saying “ I don’t care what you do that’s your business”.

He told me without me asking …. He said “he hasn’t” I told him that’s his business

So why go on to sleep with him when he's being an arsehole?

I thought when you hookup you hookup I didn’t know men quizzed you on your past sexual encounters. Well this man at least.

But you said he quizzed you before you hooked up - so why carry on?

Maybe the confusing part is why you let someone behave like that to you and then still had sex?

You’re right and I regret the whole thing tbh…. Good thing is after hooking up with him I felt nothing!

I guess do a bit of self-reflection and if you feel like maybe you're a people-pleaser or your boundaries aren't the best, do some work on them?

Personally I'd avoid exes for hook ups - they're exes for a reason. Alright, you know what you're getting to a certain extent, but is it worth it?

So you don’t think he still has feelings for me ?

What does it matter if you feel nothing?

He’s a controlling arsehole. What if you’d said, ‘I’ve fucked every man north of Brisbane and it was brilliant’? He’d still have raged. There’s no pleasing people like this when they get a bee in their bonnet, so just move on, block him, and find someone worthy of you.

I have slept with someone… I just didn’t think it was his business

I just wanted to know ??

What dies “have feelings” mean to you? Don’t flatter yourself.

Surely you don’t think his questions reflected actual care/concern/love for you?

He asked because he wanted to know if you had another partner—that could be because he was concerned about disease, or competition, or comparisons. It wasn’t random: he wanted to know. you can presume it was for self interested reasons because the question doesn’t priduce any other information.

He denied it was for any of those reasons and volunteered that he had not been with anyone else but you lied to him so you should assume that he lied to you.

In short: don’t hook up with an ex. He’s sn ex for good reason.

This guy is a piece of controlling crap. The only question you need to be asking is “what the hell was I thinking?”…

people get weirdly angry when you mention an ex on here that's why you are getting some of these weird responses. If someone is an ex you're not suppose to care at all about anything they say even though we know irl it doesn't work like that. Anyway I don't think it means he cares about you or had feelings I had this with a fwb we hadn't hooked up for a while and I went on holiday then slept with someone else when I was back and met up with him he asked me if I slept with anyone else and I answered honestly and he kicked off at me and said he didn't want to see me again... we was very clearly casual and only fwb it wasn't because he liked or cared about me it was because he wanted to believe he was the only one I was sleeping with despite the fact I believe he was also sleeping with others 🤷‍♀️

Why do you care?! So what if he does….