Confused by this hookup with ex ?

[LexiAllen]

So I hooked up with a ex situationship. Before we hookedup he kept asking if I’ve kissed anyone since us and ifI’ve slept with anyone? I told him no and he kept tellingme “I don’t believe you just tell me the truth. I kept tellinghim no I haven’t, yet he kept pressing me about it. Iasked him if it’s because he’s worried about sexualdiseases. He said no I just want to know. Then he endedit with saying I don’t believe you. He even asked me to"swear to god that I haven't" After we got done hooking up he started texting me casually? He asked me where I ended up going that night after we hooked up.
later the next day he started telling me I left things in his car etc after we hooked up. I told him he could just toss it.. we texted a little bit after… and that was it.

just wondering

Why worry about this?? Just block and move on.

cause sometimes I hope he does

Prezackly! You care too much.

How do I stop..

You just stop. Block him and move on.

You are getting some strangely condemnatory responses on here.

For example, I don't see how you acted "like a doormat" by having sex you wanted to have?

(I am assuming you wanted the sex - nothing you have said suggests you didn't).

You are fully entitled to have sex with any consenting adult you can find. You are not obliged to like every aspect of their behaviour before you do so.

If you thought "these questions about who I have been seeing are weird, and getting on my tits a bit, but I am still horny and fancy a shag with this willing, if annoying man" - that is very much your right! And anybody criticising you for it has a few hang ups of their own in my opinion....

You SHOULD be wary of any lasting involvement with him, I would argue, because he is demonstrating jealous/controlling tendencies that would be unpleasant in a partner and could even potentially lead to abusive behaviours.

And you WOULD benefit from clarifying in your own mind why it matters to you what his feelings for you are. Is it just curiosity? That little bit of revenge pride we can sometimes feel if an ex who dumped us then appears to want us back?

And of course, none of us actually have a clue how he feels. He may be entirely indifferent to you and just want sex. He may go to sleep every night sobbing into his pillow and murmuring your name. It is just not possible for us to know.

Your best chance of finding out is asking him. If you care enough.

It’s more so ego driven on why I want to know if he still had feelings for me…. That was some good advice thank you !

Him grilling you was probably ego driven too.

He probably wanted to hear that you hadn't slept with anyone so he could tell himself that you were pining over him.

He wanted sex you gave it to him, what more would you expect?

Nothing…. That’s why I was confused why he texted me after and asked if I went out that night after

He's an ex, you had sex, he's acting strangely so put it out of your head and move on.

Don't try to analyse it.

Truth is I have but wasn’t going to say anything… he should have known though about a month before I met up with him, I was in a situation with a man and was all up on him all over social media…. In which this ex viewd and seen the pictures???

About a 1 month and a half ago we started back talking after about 1 month of no contact …… I accidentally was curious after our mutual break up, so I went to his social media which I feel like is normal…. I guess I viewed his story which I don’t remember doing that. Anyways I get caught and he texts me asking me am I “lurking” ??? I asked him no why and he replied saying it showed that I viewed his social media story ……. In which that turned into him asking me if I still thought about him because he thinks of me sometimes. Which turned into me asking him if he missed me and still had feelings for me which he confessed that he did….

Days go by after that. moving forward he texts me asking me “if I worked the next day ? I work at a boutique by the way.. I asked him why ? He replied saying he wanted to come in and get an outfit? I told him if he wanted to see me he could just say that… he replied saying “not while your at work” … which I was confused about the whole reason he asked me that question.

I asked him what his intentions were and he told me he would rather talk about it in person… so we meet upI see him and we start talking he starts shaking while talking to me… we hung out for like 6 hours which ended in a make out session. He still had all are pictures of us in his phone including a heart still by my name in his phone . We depart and didn’t communicate… a week after that he starts following me on social media … That was it until almost two months later which is the hook up I’m talking about…… now

Just thought I give y’all a little back story

My take on this is that, if he has feelings, they're not healthy ones.

I agree that his questioning was ego driven and I agree that you asking about this is equally ego driven given that you hope he still has feelings for you despite claiming you don't feel anything for him.

If you don't want to repeat it, I'd block him so that you can't 'accidentally' view his social media out of curiosity again.

It's easy for people to say the responses are harsh and it's fine to hook up with someone for just sex if you want. I agree with the latter part of that but, if it were all good and you were OK with it, you wouldn't be posting on here and it wouldn't be playing on your mind.

This whole thing sounds immature and toxic. You are worried about his social media and "showing" he's with you?'

He isn't. He doesn't care. Stop with the pick me dance, he really doesn't deserve it.

You can stop the behavior first, then stopping the feelings gets easier.

Get some therapy to help you understand why you feel so helpless in the face of desire. Not everyone dedires a clearly unhealthy relationship. Not everyone who dedires an unreliable, selfish, manipulative man goes back to him. You are clearly very experienced in devoting yourself to an unhealthy love object. Were your parents divorced, unavailable, addicted, or abusive? Because your confusion about yourself and him seem very indicative of such a childhood.

when did I say “I’m showing that he’s with me”?

He now follows me on social media and views all my posts

Honestly, that means nothing. And, if you feel nothing, why do you care?

My fb reels show 4 different types of video.

Male body builders/athletes whatever who can perform gravity defying acts of strength and endurance.

Previously overweight women who've lost huge amounts of weight.

Babies.

Cats.

Do you know how much interest I have in any of those things? How much of my day I devote to thinking about them? Absolutely zero.

I still watch them though when they pop up if I've got nothing better to do.

Please don't read things into meaningless idle curiosity time-wasting activities like viewing stories on social media. It really means nothing.

Although, I am rather impressed by the men who can hold onto a lamp post with one arm and lie horizontally in thin air...

OP, what do YOU want? Do you want a situationship or a real relationship?

Forget who with… what do you actually want?

A relationship

He wants to believe he was so amazing that you haven't met anyone since that's come up to his level

Why did you tell him to toss your stuff if you're after a relationship?
Are you trying to play it really cool and act like you're ok with casual hook ups in the hopes that it will make him want a relationship?

Why wouldn’t I tell him to toss it ?