Found out he's married with a child, what now?

[petit0579]

Been seeing a guy for a couple of months - he works all over the country so we've met most weeks on weeknights when he's in the area (we have slept together).

He has been quite evasive about some things, such as refusing to tell me his surname and never messaging or responding at weekends. I bit the bullet and asked him last night if he had a girlfriend and he said "not really".

Today I finally managed to find him on social media and it turns out he's married and has a child.

Where do I go next? Do I confront him about lying to me? Do I just block him and move on?

Take a screenshot, send it to him, say, ‘Well done on cheating on your wife. Don’t ever come near me again or I’ll tell her everything’. Then block.

I think your best course of action is to block on everything. He will expect you to do it. He's admitted that he has someone else.

Arrange to see your friends and leave this road on your past.

This! Jesus
he wouldn’t even tell you his surname
he’s a shit

What a dick.

Do you think that he’s going to argue that he said not really because she’s a wife and not a gf?

Anyway it’s such a cliche of a line and I’m sorry that you were duped. Well done for listening to your instinct and finding out the truth.

Oh just ghost him. Block move on. He deserves not one more moment of your time.

Do this. Sh*t him up a bit before you walk. Don’t bother confronting him or giving him any time to reply. It won’t get you anywhere.

What an arsehole lying to you and wasting you time. 😢😭 What next? Get turned off.

Block and move on.

But next time op - this was obvious.

I am not judging because I started out very trusting when I did OLD, but when you think about it,sleeping with somebody who won't tell you their surname is too trusting. I sympathise. I was raised not to have boundaries, raised not to have a bar, so I sure did tolerate some below bare minimum level effort bad behaviour.

You're better off knowing.

Block him.

you slept with a man who refused to tell you his surname? Not like a one night stand situation, but dating, and he wouldn’t tell you his surname and you shagged him anyway? Is he very gorgeous?!

I think you need to be a bit better at noticing very clear signs of a wrong’un.

I don’t think I’d even go to the bother of blocking, he’s earned a ghosting.

Oh OP, I'm sorry. I think you know the answer already.

You could confront him to vent but it doesn't really matter, he's still married with a child.

Just be glad he's not your husband, working away and taking on 'over time'. I guess he was somewhat truthful when he said he didn't really have a girlfriend. No, he has a wife and our OP, who was in the dark until now.

What an awful man.

Plan something nice for yourself this weekend. Now that he's out of the way, that leaves space for someone much better to come in ❤

You trusted a guy who wouldn't tell you his name or talk at weekends? Lesson learned, I hope.

Thank you for all of your responses.

We met in-person at my gym (he was staying at the hotel). He initiated conversation and suggested going for a drink.

I absolutely accept that I was far too trusting and shouldn't have slept with him whilst he was still being evasive - I can't change that part but I certainly can learn from it.

And yes, in a warped way he didn't exactly lie about 'not really' having a girlfriend, but rather a wife!

Oh, just saw the surname part. Nope, no reason for an adult to hide basic info like that.

Text/communications patterns can tell you a lot. I caught one out fairly quickly with that. If texting is mainly during work hours, then they are otherwise engaged outside of work.

You won't get caught again....I hope. If you're not sure next time, come back and ask. There's nothing new under the sun. There's always someone who's seen a situation before.

You had sex with a man and didn't know his name!

It's been two months. Save your soul. Dump the horrid vile mother fucker.

Do what BananaLambo suggested and then dont give him a second thought.

This isn't your fault (except for the too trusting which you mentioned!).

At least it was only 2 months. I like the message suggestion upthread, then block.

This.

And lesson learned - when they’re evasive they’re lying.

Block and move on and open your eyes more first off and ensure you use multiple forms of contraception or you will be another statistic posting on here

Message the wife about what he did.

As a wife myself I’d want to know. At least have the decency to let his wife know what a cheating twat she is with.

You’ve been very trusting and naive but a lesson learnt.

Men staying in hotels who hit on women in the gym... This is like the modern equivalent of a travelling salesman cheating his way around the country. I'm sorry it's happened to you and unless you want very casual no strings relationships, keep the gym for your own enjoyment and don't go for guys passing through who can lie through their teeth with zero consequences.

This is absolutely the best advice. Save yourself getting dragged into anything else with him and allow the previous or next woman to do anything else like telling his poor wife.

Learn from it and improve your due diligence process! I don’t think it’s a good plan to sleep with someone who won’t tell you their surname (wouldn’t be for me anyway)