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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found out he's married with a child, what now?

56 replies

petit0579 · 06/06/2024 20:30

Been seeing a guy for a couple of months - he works all over the country so we've met most weeks on weeknights when he's in the area (we have slept together).

He has been quite evasive about some things, such as refusing to tell me his surname and never messaging or responding at weekends. I bit the bullet and asked him last night if he had a girlfriend and he said "not really".

Today I finally managed to find him on social media and it turns out he's married and has a child.

Where do I go next? Do I confront him about lying to me? Do I just block him and move on?

OP posts:
Tbry24 · 07/06/2024 14:48

You block him and you let his wife know. She deserves far far better.

You never go on a date again with someone who won’t tell you their name or their relationship status.

Bookworm20 · 07/06/2024 16:05

therealcookiemonster · 06/06/2024 23:55

personally I would inform the wife... because she deserves to know and should go for an sti check

as should you!

who knows who else he was shagging

Yep. I'd be letting his wife know.
He has strung you along. Wasted your time and your energy.
Is treating his wife appallingly.
She deserves to know so she can at least protect herself and get an STI check.
What an absolute dick.
Why should he expect you to walk away quietly without a fuss.
I bet thats how it usually happens. And the cycle continues.
I'd be creating merry hell for the bastard.
Might save a bit of heartache for the next woman, because there WILL be a next woman.

Bululu · 07/06/2024 18:10

What an asshole! Poor wife and kid. However, not giving you his surname was a huge red flag. There is nothing to win in confronting him too much. He is a liar and a cheat and it is not worth any more time. Just be aware he may want to say he is about to separate. Do not trust him at all.

spttc · 07/06/2024 23:57

Definitely tell the wife. Send her screenshots of every single message between you. Send her every detail of the whole story.. where you met, sleeping with him etc. she deserves to know. I'd get checked for STDs. God knows how many others there are!!!! Block him but definitely tell her

Icanflyhigh · 08/06/2024 00:54

I'd call his bluff THEN tell his wife.
Keep a screenshot of everything as evidence. Lousy toad deserve nothing more.

Exdonkeylover · 11/06/2024 18:32

I'd screenshot his profile, his wife's, his friends / family etc. I'd send all the screenshots to him, then a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger saying "I'll be back" and block him on everything.
Get rid, but scare him first!

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