Would you trust my boyfriend

[karlaka]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2+ years.

He broke up with his ex over the phone (it was a long-distance relationship but within the same country). She apparently always wanted a clarifying conversation in person, but he didn't want to meet her in person anymore.

About 4 months after their breakup, she texted him saying that he was the worst, as she rightly suspected that he was in another relationship. Of course, she blamed him for that.

Then, last year before Christmas, we were lying in bed watching something, and she wrote to him on LinkedIn saying that he probably texted her, but her phone was stolen while she was on vacation, and she gave him her new number so he could message her on WhatsApp.

He explained to me that he had sent her a message on WhatsApp weeks ago, which didn't get delivered, in which he asked her to return his keys (after 2 years by now), as he wanted to give up his apartment. Since she didn't respond on WhatsApp, he went on her profile on LinkedIn a few times. She saw that and therefore sent him the message. However, he assured me that he has had no other contact with her otherwise.

Would you believe that? Why would one think, after 1.5 years of no contact, just because the person clicked on your Linkedin profile and your phone was stolen, that the ex might have sent a WhatsApp in the meantime?

Having just had a look then he’s a proper wrongun.

He was cheating with you for 9 months and gave you an STI? I think as text message is the least of your worries here

Unfortunately, OP, it can be difficult to get a balanced view on here as some Mumsnetters are watching and waiting to pounce on any opportunity to play 'Bash the Man'. It's so tediously predictable and like night follows day it's always the usual suspects.

Personally, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

No I wouldn’t trust him. You knew that he was a cheater when you got together as you were the other woman.

Funny how things come back to bite you on the bottom.

I don't see any reason not to take his word for it, if he's generally otherwise trustworthy.

Does he really think / believe she even has his keys ?
after 2 years ?!!!

2 months maybe.

and in that 2 years he has had time to get permission from landlord to have more keys cut or even better change the locks

and in that 2 years he has had time to save up the 200 euros...

When I rented my last house, and indeed this one, keys were accounted for and every one needed to be handed back. So yes, I can see it wouldn't be outside of the realms of possibility!

Yes, I'm not questioning the thing about they keys, I know she still has them and he needs them at some point. It's more about the communication

Why was he looking at her LinkedIn profile if he wasn't messaging via that to ask for keys back?

Good question, Idk but I know that he did not message her via Linkedin (he showed me)

What? How else do you think he would be able to get the key back without contacting her?

Telepathy? Astral projection?

Not messaging/following up about the keys via the LinkedIn snooping makes his reason a bit more flimsy in my opinion. Maybe she is used to him checking in every so often if her response was to assume he'd attempted other contact?

Also, I really hope that he wasn't getting the keys posted back to the apartment that it unlocks!

That's why I think they could have been texting for a while on WA and she just followed up on LinkedIn proactively letting him know her phone got stolen and sharing her new phone number

Nah. It's guff.
Why would he need the keys?

The only reason he might feel he needs them would be if she's been staying there regularly and they've only recently stopped shagging. That might make sense.

But realistically, what he's saying is like asking an old lodger who left many years ago to give back a spare set of keys. Why bother? Especially if you're selling. The new folk might change the locks anyway.

It looks like shit, it smells like shit, it walks like shit. Its shit.

Lol, he was renting and must return all keys to his landlord.

@karlaka why would someone who lived a good distance away from him, have keys to his flat????

After two years you don't ask for keys back from your ex that you had a horrible split with.

You just tell the landlord you lost the other set or, you make copies. If he genuinely had just contacted her about the keys, he's sniffing around.

But from her response, they've been talking a while.

Where do you live?

This made me laugh. I like your style and can hear your voice. You should consider recording a few of your gems of wisdom. I'd buy a copy for several women I know.

This one really isn't worth the effort, is he? Just look at the number of threads you have had to start about him already. You have never trusted him, and rightly so. He is a serial cheat, who started seeing you while still seeing her, has given you an STI, and is now back chatting to his ex. And that is just from scrolling your thread titles. You are still uni or not long out of uni age. Ditch him, do some work on yourself to understand why you were willing to get involved with a man who was already in a relationship.

I say that as someone who has been cheated on and is working on rebuilding. The difference being 20 years, 2 kids and a man who had a full on breakdown post COVID era.

The UK. Where do you live? It might have been relevant to your OP.

However, since others have hinted that you have multiple threads about him maybe you should take advice about your relationship from those. I suspect they all said don't trust him an inch.

What a mess. You've posted so much about him before, and it's a car crash. You are both cheats, just let it go and try and do better.

If he is capable of cheating with you, he is more than capable of cheating on you. I think you also know this which is why you are suspicious

Yeah he was still with her when we started dating

Well then you already know he's a cheat don't you? & so are you. Just stay with him, you're well-matched. His ex should be running away instead of answering any message at all really, she's had a lucky escape.

Some of these responses are deranged - and I'm saying this as someone who's more than willing to believe people are up to no good.

He just wanted keys back, the end.