Is your DH/DP the best you ever had?

[Sprinklesandsprinkles]

In bed!

We have a great marriage- he's my best friend, we laugh together, want the same out of life, amazing DC, financially in a great position and looks like we'll be set for a great retirement together too.

But he's so far from the best I've had! And as much as we can work on things I really don't think we'll ever get to that point. We have spoken about it (we just have different tastes/wants) and would much rather end up with a sexless marriage than break up an otherwise great thing.

I've had some amazing sex that I find myself thinking about, but with guys who would never be good long term partners. So I'm not looking to be told it ok to leave him etc but I'm just checking surely I can't be the only one?!

As this is mumsnet I wonder if I'll be told this means I don't actually have a happy marriage but surely not all long term partners are having their mind blown in the sack, how many unicorn men are out there 😂

Technically I'm single (not counting a FWB as a partner).

I've been married twice and had 4 serious relationships. 2 before I got married and 2 since my 2nd marriage ended. Heartbreakingly ironic, my best, kindest, most loyal, never lied, never cheated, never abusive was my first husband, ending it with him in the words of Julia Robert's was a 'BIG MISTAKE, BIG, HUGE.....'.......

No one will ever compare to the kindness he showed me.

I have to go through life knowing how massively I fucked up, even though we ended 22 year ago....... still regret it.

or watching them make a complete mess of trying to put a car seat in a hire care would at least deny any passion.

@GiganticArkReadywithHottub absolutely crying, I actually think this was the start of the slope towards divorce from my ex.

My BF is amazing in bed (definitely the best out of bakers dozen) a good dad to his kid, helps out round the house without being asked, and extremely kind and loving.

He also has some work-ons in order for me see him as a keeper but he’s well aware/non-defensive about these situations being non-ideal, and is willing to put in the effort to change.

@itschemical I'm so sorry to hear you regret your first divorce. Can I ask why you ended it at the time?

My partner of 2.5 years is the best I've had sexually - I'm 49, he's 52. I've had a lot of sex in my life and I always thought most of it was really good. I had my son in a 16 year relationship which became sexless however and I truly thought sex was behind me. I was ok with that.

Met my partner on a night out a year after leaving my ex and it was just a one night stand -mind blowing from the start. Neither of us wanted or felt able to have a relationship at the time but we kept coming back to meet again and here we still are, despite the 3.5 hour drive between us (maybe that helps keep it so passionate).

We are each a true mixture of submissive/ assertive/selfish/giving. It's different every time and we are still discovering entirely new things to explore - we never know how it will end each time. I couldn't deal with a fixation on any fetishes, it would become so tedious. We are both utterly relaxed and confident in taking what we want from each other. There is complete trust sexually, we have both done things with each other that we have never done with others and there is constant almost unspoken communication during sex, checking that we are both loving what we are doing and changing direction if not.

I've never met someone who makes me feel so utterly loved in a physical sense. His eyes bore right through me throughout sex - the eye contact is a huge part of it for me.

He's had a lot of boring sex in his life, he says he has slept with a lot of passive women, I'm definitely his best too.

In real life - in some ways we have little in common - he's far less intellectual/political than me, I adore his body and face but he's not conventionally good looking, I'm sure my friends wonder exactly what I see in him. However he's kind, reliable, such fun and a great dancer - it works so well for my stage of life. I hope it lasts for decades more.

@Sprinklesandsprinkles

I was young, stupid and was going through a lot mentally and he did things at the time that really stressed me out. Things now that aren't even worth worrying about, but at the time my 'OCD' couldn't handle it.

I no longer have OCD.... :(

@Riapia have you got a new person on the side?

Not on the side.
But a definite possibility for the future if/ when I’m free. 😉😁😁