Ex Husband tracking my movements

[2024willbetheone]

Been divorced 8 months after a very difficult break up and divorce. Ex Husband was a manipulative cheat and controlling and I’ve definitely made the right choice to get out.
We have no contact and his relationship with our teenage children has sadly broken down.

A couple of days ago I visited a male friend of mine and parked on his drive. I returned home a couple of hours later to my 15 year old stating ‘Dad has been on the phone and asked where you have been. I told him you were out and he said he knows exactly where you are and that you have been at a man’s house. Someone has texted him a picture of your car on this man’s drive”

I chatted to my son about how this is not normal behaviour and my whereabouts are no concern of his fathers.

Im now driving myself crazy wondering how he knows where I am. Did someone send him a pic? (Unlikely!) or is there a tracker on my car or phone?? To give this some context, he is working away in a foreign country so would have been unable to follow me himself. I have reported this to the police and it is logged on my file after previously reporting him for harassment.

Any advice?

He has a tracker on your car or phone.

Would he know whose house it was if he saw it on a map?

It’s a small town so he would know whose house it was If he were tracking me.

The chances of a passer by recognising this man’s house, my car and having the nerve to send a pic to my ExH are very slim though….

There is an issue over 'trackers' that can be secretly put on vehicles.

You can get various devices that will detect them.

I might contact The Police given what has happened, they may be able to check your car/phone and/or take action against him. At least if it happens again there will be a record.

This gives some ideas - even if many posters are probably from the USA

https://www.reddit.com/r/cars/comments/myswte/my_ex_has_put_a_gps_locator_on_my_car_and_i_need/

BUT there is now a major issue with an Apple tracker

Nobody sent him a photo.

I'd get your car and phone checked over.

My ex had a tracker on my car and our Google accounts on our phones were still linked so he could see my location through Google. Also check "find my phone"

Take your car to the garage and ask them to check if it has a tracker on it. Then if it does you have 3rd party evidence of him storking you.

More likely your phone than your car

You might have this set up by accident on your phone. Or something more sinister. Go into an apple shop (or whatever the Samsung etc equivalent is) and get them to check it and you can buy something to check your car.

Are you in a family group on iPhone still? So if your devices are connected still the. He can see where you are in the "find my .." app.
If you have Tile tracker or Airtag on keyring then they can be shared and visible.
It could also be that someone did text a photo of your car? Does he have any friends or relatives locally?
To be honest, you handled it well. Block and ignore !

There is no photo. That’s a total lie. He’s got a tracker on your car or your phone.

I might be looking at some sore of restraining order/injunction

Definitely check you Google accounts are not linked. This will reveal details about your location he can see.

@JohnofWessex she's been to the police.

This months maintenance payment is now in my bank. The reference says ‘BabyReindeer’. Would the police take this seriously? I feel silly for phoning again over a bank reference!

You absolutely should report. This is awful behaviour and is part of a pattern.

I'm so sorry OP. This must be so stressful

The bank reference is an electronic message like text or email. It counts. Report to the police and ask for advice. They won’t necessarily be able to do anything yet but reporting will help build up a bigger picture and they should be able to tell you want needs to happen now so that continuing harassment is legally considered harassment or stalking. You might need to send a message of some kind stating you wish to only communicate about the children and only via email or something similar. Or the police might advise all contact to go through a solicitor.

Absolutely contact them again. He is continuing his pattern of coercive controlling behaviour despite you being apart. It’s still abuse, and it’s not unusual.

It might also be worth speaking to WA ( again if you have previously) to see if they can offer advice. If you’ve not done the Freedom Programme please do it now, it’s so helpful.

@2024willbetheone this sounds awful. Keep evidence of any/all this stuff. Babyreindeer indeed. He sounds unhinged.

Bear in mind a ‘photo of car on drive’ could be a screenshot of a dot on a map from FindmyIphone rather than someone actually following you with a camera (although both are unacceptable). Have you switched off any apps on your own phone (eg you can stop your iphone telling contacts you previously allowed to view your location).

Report absolutely everything. Get someone to check your car for trackers. Get a new phone just in case he gas something in there. Change all passwords including if you use google maps or any app that needs your location.

Get some doorbell cameras on and extra locks on the door. Maybe a dog.

Get in touch with paladin for more advice in stalking. He sounds terrifying.

100% report that, it's basically a threat.

I had my stalker ex's old phone (this is years ago when smartphones were new) and I believe he tracked me through that.

Report everything. Could he have put air tags in your car? they are tiny so might be worth taking it apart to look. Get a new phone and change all passwords on email, facebook etc.

Ask rights of women if this is enough for a non-mol and reporting for stalking.

I was thinking an air tag too. We've got one for the dog and one for our suitcase and it would be SO easy to hide one down the back seam of a car seat or under the carpet covering thing in the boot.

You need to take your car apart, basically. I'm so sorry.

Definitely report the bank reference, its part of a pattern. I'd be tempted to get a totally new phone too, if you can manage it. Get a decent virus checker for your computer but I think it's probably the car. The fucker.

I could honestly write a book about the post-separation abuse I’ve received. He’s made life so difficult for me and the children that I had no choice but to report him in January and even logged a historic domestic violence incident.

Im almost out now. Divorced and we move to a lovely new home in a couple of weeks (we currently live over the road from his Mum which has been difficult) I’m thinking this is his final bit of control before I’m gone for good.