She gave him photos to put up in house

[Oddoneoutx]

My partner moved into a new house and he has a female best friend he met on a dating site. They’ve been friends for 6 years. Since I’ve been with him 4 years, she’s shit stirred. Told him I’m mental, skint and loads of other lies. She told him to move me out.
she brought him fridge magnet photos of them both and I said i found this odd.
as soon as anyone walks in they will see the fridge and pictures of them.
i feel it’s a statement from her however am I being jealous or is it a bit odd.

He is not your partner.

She is not the problem.

He is if she's caused trouble and told lies about you and he had done nothing.

Don't focus on her behaviour. Focus on his.

He is the issue not her, can you not see this?

You say she told him to ‘move you out’, and that now he’s living in a new house — does this mean you used to live together but no longer do?

No it means I moved in just after he bought a new house and have lived here for 3 years. I rarely see her as she won’t come over because I’m here.

He loves it, you deserve better leave them to it.

I am another one that is going to say the issue is him. There is a definite triangulation going on and he must be getting something out of it. No man is that clueless.

There must be other things he is doing for you to feel the way you do about this woman. If he does not make you feel secure within the relationship, and this is still an issue 4 years on, then yeah you have a few options, but you may not like them.

Seems dodge, at best she's obsessed with him and jealous of you, I do wonder what history they've truly had, it's odd as if she was a friend she'd be happy for him and accept you too, why would she possibly say these horrible things unless that's what he tells her, to keep her as the side piece.

I couldn’t get excited about a fridge magnet, or a friendship that predates a relationship. I have friendships that predate meeting Dah, with men and women. But I can’t imagine wanting to spend time with someone whose favourite topic was how awful DH is. Also, how do you know all this — is your partner telling you the things his friend says? How does he respond when she says this kind of stuff?

He seems to not be discouraging her? So she thinks she's his girlfriend? He tells you she slags you off, and he puts up fridge magnets with her face on them in your house. What exactly is it that's wrong with him?

I'd get rid of him swiftly. What a pathetic idiot to treat you this way.

He told me during an argument as he goes over there for dinner once a week.
he said she told him I have had bailiffs around my old place and I’ve got mental health issues and he needs to be careful. I’ve met her a few times and always been nice to her.
he said he told her he doesn’t want to hear it as he doesn’t have any proof from either of us.

What does he mean, he’s ’got no proof from either of you’? If you’ve been a couple for four years, surely he’d know if you were being sought by bailiffs or had poor MH?

It’s his house not mine. I live here though. She told him this two years ago when she first found out I was with him. But it’s played on my mind ever since and always comes up in arguments.

OP he is going round there for food ones a week?

He is triangulating. He gets some kick out of it clearly as he is telling you what has been said etc which he KNOWS will upset you, that is not a good man

The photo thing is her staking her claim on him. From what you say they are in a relationship and you are the third wheel.

Look, forget about her.

You needed to dump this piece of shit you keep posting about long ago.

You keep saying you can't because you've got no money and nowhere to go (and I get that), but it'll come to a head soon enough and he'll throw you out anyway.

And then how will you cope?

Exactly. I’ve proved i have savings and a good credit score. Even though I shouldn’t have to. Obviously can’t with the mental illness. However he uses that against me when we argue and I get upset. Says I’m mental 🙈

Does he still video you when you two argue?

Sometimes

Why are you letting this man make a fool out of you?

Look, OP, as so often on these threads, you’re blaming the wrong person. The friend is an irrelevance. You’re in a relationship with someone who behaves badly to you. That’s the crux of this.

I honestly don’t know.
trauma bond maybe?!

OP take it from me, your updates are a huge red flag. He is gaslighting you and emotionally abusing you, then filming you when you argue, wow OP he is messing with your head big time. No wonder you are upset. My ex did all of this a more, and he loved every minute of it. I am still recovering from his tactics 5 years on. He is abusing you.

This is not going to end well at all. Get out while you can, before your MH really IS affected. (And take the fridge magnet with you, and throw it in the bin.)

He says that I’m the abuser. That I’m domestically abusing him 😔