Facing life alone with no partner

[datingqss]

I have been online dating for coming up to two years. I left my ex because he was becoming even more abusive. I haven't regretted this decision. But I had no idea how much more difficult dating has become and I am facing the reality of being on my own for the foreseeable future, and what feels like could be forever.

I am turning 40 shortly, but look around 10 years younger (everyone comments on this - from my opticians, to a doctor who refused to do any botox on me) and I am a fun and lovely person. I mention this not because I am vain, but because I do get a lot of attention on the dating apps.

Yet the men I am meeting on the dating apps aren't anywhere near that I would normally consider, I am trying to be open minded. Not only that, I am then rejected after a few dates, as I don't have sex with them or I do have sex with them! It all seems to be about sex for them, the chemistry etc. Not about connection and developing something meaningful it seems. I feel like a piece of meat.

It never used to be like this before, I always found a boyfriend within 6 months of online dating in the past, and had long term relationships. It's a totally different landscape now and I am feeling petrified that I am not going to meet anyone and it's game over.

I am a balanced and rational person, and a realist, and always thought I'd meet someone if I give it time, put in the effort etc it's a number game. Now I have no faith and it's really starting to affect my life. Has anyone else been in the same position? How do you come out of this? My life is good - I have a great job, lots of hobbies, family, friends etc. But I want a partner and ideally a family of some kind. What do I do? I feel nobody wants a relationship anymore.

@crackofdoom well said. Lots more attractive women with better personalities and more to offer.
Equal amount of men in same age group but not good prospects

I don't understand why all these types of threads end up male bashing.

For every man that doesn't look after himself there is one that does. Not every man over 35 and single has something wrong with them. Just like women they may have not met the right person or have come out of a bad marriage.

The same can be said for women. I look after myself, I make an effort but there are many women out there who are just as bad as the men we keep bashing.

It's ever so easy to bash men but let's not pretend that every woman above 35 who is single is perfect either.

I feel this is one of the reasons women stay in boring and dull marriages. I'm 49 not in a brilliant place marriage wise but thinking it maybe better the devil I know.

I'm sorry it's hard to meet decent men, the online dating is just awful.

Maybe like others have said travelling, and being out in the wiped is the way to go and see who you bump into like the old ways of meeting?

Men must be fed up too.

@xxSideshowAuntSallyxx Didn't say they were all perfect.
We'll agree to disagree, many people will get my post.

@Comms85 what is ED? I know I'm going to kick myself when you explain!

Floppy willy. (Erectile dysfunction)

"For every man who doesn't look after himself there is one who does".

So....50% of men don't look after themselves?

I rest my case.

Oh god! of course!

Yes, I'm accepting that I'm likely to be single for the rest of my days.

I'm 53, it's been nearly 5 years so far (bar 1 6-month relationship with OLD) & I feel a wee bit sad about it.

The dating pool is really small as you get older & IME very few men on OLD are looking for a serious relationship. And especially not with women who have dependant children.

I'm trying different things - speed dating, singles events - would be so much better to meet someone in real life but that doesn't happen for me.

If you have hobbies that's great - but I'm so limited with time & have just accepted my situation for what it is.