I need to break up with my partner.

[Yellowcoke]

I have another thread going here. I need to break up with him.

We are in a sexless relationship. It began from his side. At this stage even if he was to miraculously develop a sexless interest in me, I would be utterly repulsed at going anywhere near him again due to the awkwardness involved after so long.

Not only that I feel utterly smothered by this relationship. He has no hobbies or interests outside of his parents and outside of his work and me. All his life is one of those three aspects. It's too draining.

I need to break it off with him. I do not want to tell him that my main reason is the sexlessness.

What do I say or do I just ghost him?

I love my gay hairdresser more than my own partner.

Didn't you ask about this yesterday?

Just end it. Tell him it's over and wish him well. It's really not hard.

I’d just say “this isn’t working for me, it’s over”. I take it you don’t live together?

I’ve just seen your other thread. If you’ve been together for 6 years and married for 4 of them, I can’t see how you’ll ghost him successfully. I also think that’s not the nicest thing to do so it’s probably best to tell him that the relationship is no longer working and that’s that really

I think the kindest thing to do would be to tell him. I haven't seen your other threads but I don't think you can ghost your husband you'll have plenty to discuss re house and finances

Ghosting is cowardly.

If your goal is to try to find the right words that mean he'll agree with you that the relationship has run its course then I think you need to realise that almost certainly won't happen. You don't need his approval to end the relationship. You won't be able to get him to agree with you. You just have to make it clear that the relationship is over and that there's no hope for it re-starting in the future. Essentially the message you need to get across is "this isn't working for me any more. This relationship is over."

He's not my husband. We are engaged though. No marriage.

You're thinking of ghosting your fiance?
Just tell him, this isn't working for me I dont want to stay in this relationship.

Do you live together?

Why can't you just be honest? You've been together a long time, just tell him the truth, none of this ghosting bullshit.

It isn't working for you anymore, you can't be in a relationship with no intimacy and its gone past the point of rekindling. There is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone for this reason so I don't see why you can't be honest.

Exactly. You're not married, thank fuck. You've saved yourself a lot of red tape and aggravation.

How much more validation do you need in order to end this dead relationship? All you've managed to do is waste another 24 hours of your life by being with him.

Don't ghost him that's so cruel. I can see why you're tempted, but you are shaking up his entire life and the way in which you end this will impact his trauma levels and future happiness hugely, trust me I've been on the receiving end.

Ok, thank you, I won't ghost him.

I will build up the courage and go for it. I was in work all day since morning and I am still at work and fuck me if I will even see a free patch of time this weekend. So when the time is right I will chat with him.

Why not just be honest and upfront with the poor guy?!

How can you even think of 'ghosting' a man you have had a 6 year relationship with? How cruel!

I know it is hard to tell somebody it's over - but it sounds like it's clear in your mind, so you have to.

Will it come as a total shock to him, do you think?

I’m amazed at the amount of sexless relationships I read about on here. I don’t know if a cultural thing or something but all the men I’ve came across my whole life have normal- high sex drives.

Anyway yes definitely don’t ghost that would be so weird and unnecessarily cruel. Just tell him how you feel and go your separate ways.

The time is right, right now. You're just stalling.

I remember about a year I took the sexless he lost his job due to the pandemic but in 2021 he was looking for new work. He was facing two new job offers. He took the job that was further away and had a schedule that was the complete opposite to my schedule. We needed up never sharing a day off unless it was a holiday day booked off from work. Our dates days and nights fell off the cliff. Nothing. I really think he did that to put a wedge between us and blame work for the sexlessness. The think is I never let myself go since I met him and I always looked after myself and if anything I am looking after myself better now than when I met him.

It's so confusing because on one hand sometimes he makes an effort in the sense that he's always the one pushing for a holiday and I always give in thinking spending time together would be great but then I am always smacked with the sexlessness. It's so confusing.

Just a few weeks ago he did mention something about wanting to come around to snuggle with me but I made excuses. I don't want to sleep with him. I never want his hands on me again.

I am hit with so much depression lately and this is just one aspect of it.

I hate him.

No, I am not stalling. It's 9 o clock. I am sitting in a back fucking room in work not knowing when I will be allowed out the door. When I get a free patch of time from my piece of shit slaves job, I will focus in breaking up with him. Unless if you want me to do it by text but then plenty of people will be complaining about that too.

Go ahead and break up by text. Given the state of this relationship, it's fitting. You'll feel so much fucking better when you finally get this over with.

I am hit with so much depression lately and this is just one aspect of it.

I hate him.

It sounds like you have a few things going on in your life but you’re projecting a lot of negative feelings onto your fiance.

You are clearly not happy in your relationship but he doesn’t sound abusive in any way so hate seems like a strong word.

Ghosting a partner of six years would be a brutal thing to do and I’m shocked you would consider it. Maybe you need to talk to a therapist.

I am hit with so much depression lately and this is just one aspect of it.

I don't think you necessarily need a therapist at all. I think you're depressed because you've allowed yourself to be stuck in that relationship for so long while being so dissatisfied with it. Being in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship is absolutely soul crushing.

You just need to end it.

The man is nothing more but a burden on my time and energy.

That's what I'm telling you. He's like an anchor around your neck emotionally, and I'll be frank about something else - you staying with him and feeling the way you do about him is grossly unfair to HIM. It doesn't appear that he's a horrible person, shouldn't he be with someone who actually wants to be with him?

Stop wasting time already. This is ridiculous.

I am not a nhympo by the way always demanding for sex. I don't even get any sexual intimacy even once in a year. I don't get any date nights either.