I need to break up with my partner.

[Yellowcoke]

I have another thread going here. I need to break up with him.

We are in a sexless relationship. It began from his side. At this stage even if he was to miraculously develop a sexless interest in me, I would be utterly repulsed at going anywhere near him again due to the awkwardness involved after so long.

Not only that I feel utterly smothered by this relationship. He has no hobbies or interests outside of his parents and outside of his work and me. All his life is one of those three aspects. It's too draining.

I need to break it off with him. I do not want to tell him that my main reason is the sexlessness.

What do I say or do I just ghost him?

I love my gay hairdresser more than my own partner.

Don’t ghost him! That is out of order if you are actually in a relationship. If it was one or two dates and mmm he got weird then ok, maybe ghosting would be fine, but not in a relationship

Fuck him. He turned out relationship into something completely different. Into something else. He's working opposite schedules to me. We have no date nights and no sexual chemistry. He got a ring on my finger and thought his work was all done.

Fuck him. He doesn't seem to care about me.

OP, haven't read all the comments but just throwing it out there just in case, but do you think maybe he's gay?

I get where you’re coming from but it seems like the OP is wanting to write her feelings down and get it all out. I agree that ending it sooner rather than later (especially when you don’t even love the person) is best but at the same time, a few extra days can’t hurt surely?

In all fairness, you don't care about him either!

I don't think he is gay. He doesn't have that gay vibe about him. I do suspect a porn habit with him. I doubt it's gay.

Well in that case your stalling in ending it is really, really fucking ridiculous. You're just torturing yourself.

How dare you turn this around onto me. I did care for him for a long time. Why would I now after what he's done to us? You, know he sends me texts every day telling me how much he loves me and calling me sexy but not once was he able to back any of this up with action. What good is telling me if he can't make love to me?

There's two in this relationship and he's played his part. He would gladly fucking drag this crap out for many more years but I will be putting a stop to this for once and for all.

I am not fucking stalling anything. I am stuck in work and like another poster replied I am gathering my thoughts and what harm is another few more days before I approach this subject. I need to fuck off out the door from my job to be able to get a free patch of time in order to approach this with my soon to be ex. How can people not comprehend this? Or am I supposed to just phone him and text him now:

'It over.
Goodbye'.

I did love him but it's different now.

How dare you dare me! 😃

Why didn't you just do the decent thing and end it with him when you realised you no longer cared about him?!

Maybe he means his texts and he does think he loves you?

You haven't been stuck in work for the last 6 years, have you?

It’s better to gather your thoughts, have a respectful conversation face to face and go your seperate ways. There’s absolutely no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of it. Just make sure you don’t drag it on for so long that you start to feel stuck

Just make sure you don’t drag it on for so long that you start to feel stuck

That ship has sailed. The op should have left him years ago. That's why she's so angry.

Op, you really can end it with a text message or an email. You could talk later, if you want to. But you really don't have to. You don't owe him anything, and you don't even owe him specific reasons why. "This relationship no longer works for me" is more than adequate.

Ending a six year relationship with a fiancé via text is totally out of order. If he is violent etc then yeah, but not otherwise

FFS, don't be ridiculous. If you're engaged to someone you can never end it? Are you quite alright?

Sorry I missed a word or two out 😁
I meant can’t end a relationship that long via text

Actually, you can. You can end any relationship with a text if you want to. Why are you putting even more pressure on the op when it's so clear she needs to exit this toxic relationship as quickly as possible? If ending it through text is all she's able to currently handle, so be it. No one is going to fucking die because of it.

Totally cruel and out of order to do that! It would be a total dick move!

No decent person would ever do that! It's horrible! She hasn't been arsed to end it up until now, and the poor get may not even see this coming. She owes him an explanation and she needs to give him his ring back.

It's honestly no wonder so many women feel trapped into staying in horrible relationships. They have other women pressuring them to give an "explanation" and reasons and to put his feelings above her own. The op does owe him anything, and she can put the bloody ring in the post.

And get a grip with your "no decent person" shite. Sometimes very, very decent people have landed in a very dark, sad place and need to do whatever necessary to get out. A polite, respectful message is enough and no where near "horrible."

He tells me that he likes to watch documentaries on YouTube before bed. I can remember incidents and days where he would be helping his father on the father's farming land before going to work and him having days up to 20 hours long. When I would chat to him he would tell him he watched some YouTube before bed but he was never able to tell me anything about the documentaries he was watching.

I strongly suspect that man is pouring his energy into porn. I would never be against porn person se but when it translates to this.......

There's no going back from this.

Aquamarine, I usually agree with the majority of your posts but I think you’re being a little unfair here!

OP first posted about her and her partner yesterday. She could have felt this way for 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. The fact is, she’s finally acknowledging these feelings and wanting to end the relationship. It’s really easy to say ‘just send a text, stop dragging it out etc’ but I don’t see how that’s realistic?

If you’ve been together with someone for 6 years, engaged for nearly 5 and you decide that you want to leave the relationship, where’s the harm in getting further advice?
The OP doesn’t owe him anything and can text him but she does owe it to herself to end the relationship in a way that she’d be happy with. Sending a text is just mean really

OP are you looking for advice with what to say or do you just need a place to write down your thoughts?

Who am I being unfair to? The op's partner? He isn't my concern. I am 100% Team Op. She needs all the support, and some kicks in the arse, that we can give her. If she doesn't want to end it by text, that's fine, my point is she can if she needs to.

I think I am going to get drunk and just do it. Not tonight because I am wrecked and I need to buy a few bottles of wine to help me throught this but I am going to get drunk and just do it.