Ok so here goes.
No judgement please .
I am curious about my thoughts, feelings & actions right now , more as a psychological aspect.
I'm trying to decifer what exactly is going on with myself , trying to be open & analysing why I am all of a sudden thinking & feeling this way so please only answer if you have a non judgemental, open mind , thanks in advance :)
So I have been seeing a man for about 8 months, all seems to be going very well.
He really is one of the kindest , respectful , sweetest, funny & gentle men I have ever met.
We get on very well & see each other regularly.
He has always been consistent and solid, no game playing , very straight forward and everything I have wanted.
We go on proper dates , daytime and evening and spent quality time together, not just a sexual relationship.
Three weeks ago we talked about fantasies he said his was a threesome, me , him and another woman.
I know alot of men have this fantasy so I wasnt that surprised, we had quite a bit to drink that evening & I said to him that I am not against the idea for maybe in the future.
The next time I saw him a few days later he brought it up sober and said can I send you a link to the swingers site, I said yeh ok I'll take a look.
Two days after that he said he had set up a profile , could we take a photo and verify ourselves.
Initially I was a bit taken back with how quickly things were moving forward but I agreed and said theres no rush we can just see what's out there and chat for now, he agreed and said yes of course absolutely no rush.
We got quite a bit of attention on the site , I actually have found it quite fun and liberating, also a bit of a turn on.
A woman has now said she is interested in meeting us , he has said it's only if your comfortable in doing that or we wont do it , at the time I said yes as I am very curious and again it's kind of turning me on, bi curious myself.
We havent met her yet, were planning to in the next few weeks & it will just be for a drink & go our separate ways , then discuss with each other as a couple how we both feel about going forward.
So something I have noticed about myself is I am pulling back from him the last week or so.
I cant help it and I'm not sure why I am doing it ?! I'm not messaging him so much, I am feeling less emotions for him, almost now looking at him like hes a friend and not a boyfriend.
I even noticed after we spent the weekend together I was less affectionate, almost involuntary, just not kissing him or hugging him much.
It's all very hard to explain. I keep asking myself what's going on? I'm feeling way less attached to him now. Like my feelings for him are changing and I was really into him before, I even thought I was falling in love with him before all this talk about 3somes and now I just feel a bit bla , like I can take or leave him.
The most concerning part for me ( as I am a monogamous partner when in a relationship) is that I have had fleeting thoughts of sleeping with other men, thoughts about dating other men, chatting to other men and meeting other men. I would never of had any of these thoughts pre 3some talk!!
I wouldn't go ahead with it, I'm not a cheat & I was hoping it would pass.
Today a man I went on a date with previous to my current relationship sent me a fb friend request, I havent accepted it, I didnt really find this other man a very good match for me when I went on a date with him but today I feel like I want to message him, meet up and having thoughts of having sex with him!! ... again I wouldnt go through with it .
What on earth is going on with me? If anyone could shed some light or has experienced anything like this before please help?!
Also shall I tell him what's going on with me? I think he noticed I was less affectionate this weekend, he did say are u ok? At one point.