Is it me????

[Vicvik]

Hi all and thanks for reading. So recently it was my partners birthday, it was a big birthday, number isn’t relevant. I thought we had a nice day, we opened presents, we went out for breakfast, her and her daughter, me and my son(we all live together) she wanted money so she could go shopping, so we did for a few hours before dinner as a family with her mother and friends and our blended family. She was spoiled, especially by me, I’d arranged to take her to Italy in June as her main present. All in all from everyone including food she had about £2000 spent on her and loved ALL of her presents. All of a sudden out of no where she says she was disappointed we didn’t do an activity for her birthday. There wasn’t really time on the day with breakfast, seeing family and dinner, so decided to do something this weekend. Gave her some options of what she’d like to do on Sunday, these options we given to her Friday, Saturday and again Sunday morning and out of no where, no one cares about her, she totally lost her shit saying the holiday to Italy was a waste cos it’s not until June. (She’s always wanted to visit this city in italy. So when better to treat her) and that it’s not really a birthday present cos it’s not on her birthday, we both work so needed to sort it with work as well, plus I just started a new job so taking time off in the 1st week wouldn’t look good. Bare in mind for my birthday she was taking me away for a weekend, we still haven’t gone and it’s been over a month. This has blown up to her breaking up with and threatening me and my son. Is it me or is she ungrateful? Honest answers please. Thank you

She’s an arse. She’s also a bully. You need to get your son away from her asap.

It sounds like she wanted you to think of and organise an activity. You asked her to do the thinking.

does the £2k number include everyone’s meals?

how did she threaten you and your son?

Selfish ungrateful, get your son away from her. Some people are unbelievable what a lovely birthday by the sounds of things. Keep your son away from her.

Goodness me, she sounds like a spoilt brat. Get away from her and take your child to Italy instead.

I wasn’t asking her what to do. I gave her a choice of things, all
of which she loves doing, just didn’t know which she would prefer. I had to leave the house after a threat of her being violent, I asked if my sons safe, she said no take him as well

Is this a new type of behaviour from her?

AlvinStardustsGloves. Hiya, it’s becoming more common, the threatening is new though

And dont go back after she threatened your son.

This is not ok. Remove yourself and your son from this dangerous situation. She sounds like a complete nutter.

I mean, the threats to injure you and your child are more significant than the birthday brattishness so I’d focus on that. Where are you now?

How soon did you all start living together?

How long have you been together?

Been together a couple of years, lived together for 10 months. We’re older so we knew what we wanted

She’s a rude nasty selfish entitled bitch. Is this what you really want from a partner?

And she threatened your son? Run and don’t look back.

We’re older so we knew what we wanted

No offence but

a. Being older doesn't mean you have some special accelerated "getting to know each other properly" process; it's the same process and it takes the same amount of time to get to know someone thoroughly - no matter what age you are. And that is, in my experience, a couple of years.

But you were living together and blending families 14 months into the relationship. It's a bit too soon.

And

B. You "knew what you wanted"; your kids didn't. But they were expected to become a blended family. And without sufficient time to know the other family thoroughly.

You are now getting to know the other family "thoroughly".

And quite honestly, she sounds like she has a personality disorder or MH issues.

This has blown up to her breaking up with

I'd advise you to take that gift.

(Though I seriously doubt she'll follow through on it, in fact I'm sure she'll work on winning you back with lots of perseverance. She'd have the inconvenience of finding, attracting and grooming a replacement, and it's tough to keep the mask on for long enough to secure someone).

I mean we fell in love immediately with each other. My son calls her mum, her daughter calls me dad, they’re both 18 and best friends like twins. We knew very early we’d be together forever, but this is really out of character, she has had several “episodes “ where I think she has issues, but I’d still die for her If I had to

Unfortunately I think you are right. She complains about being a spinster, well in all honesty I can see now why she never had a serious relationship and got married before. To me this is the most ungrateful thing I’ve ever heard from anyone

we fell in love immediately with each other

We knew very early we’d be together forever

Op, your approach to relationships is not wise for a childless person, let alone a parent.

they’re both 18 and best friends like twins.

Maybe they can stay in touch independently.

(Though 18 yr olds are still kids really and tend to be flaky as fuck, so if the their attachments with a pinch of salt).

You moved in together after only ten months? With children?
That's much too soon.

I’d still die for her If I had to

A bit less melodrama and it bit more common sense and caution and skepticism would be better given you are a parent (and for your own welfare too).

14 months.

Not that's it much longer.

Sorry but this post sounds ridiculous. It’s not a Disney movie or The Walton’s. You’re grown adults not star crossed lovers destined to be together.

You've jumped head first into a relationship and cohabitating before you really got yo know each other in depth and now the real character is coming out and it’s not pretty.

Threatening your son should be a line never crossed and one there’s no going back from

Definitely remove yourself from this situation. Sounds like she’ll never be happy with what you offer.
Not sure how old you are but starting over in my 40s made me far more cautious! I’ve learned my lesson about rushing in the hard way. I’m in a new relationship but we won’t be moving in together for a long time because we can’t easily blend families. We both get that and are okay with it. It sounds like it was all a bit hasty with you and you’re learning what she’s really like while living with her, her behaviour is now a threat to you and your child so I’d advise a step back.

She is rude and ungrateful - looking for a fight eg the holiday being in June and not on her birthday etc
you know if an OP had written this about a man - everyone would say LTB
cancel the June holiday and run - don’t look back