Is it me????

[Vicvik]

Hi all and thanks for reading. So recently it was my partners birthday, it was a big birthday, number isn’t relevant. I thought we had a nice day, we opened presents, we went out for breakfast, her and her daughter, me and my son(we all live together) she wanted money so she could go shopping, so we did for a few hours before dinner as a family with her mother and friends and our blended family. She was spoiled, especially by me, I’d arranged to take her to Italy in June as her main present. All in all from everyone including food she had about £2000 spent on her and loved ALL of her presents. All of a sudden out of no where she says she was disappointed we didn’t do an activity for her birthday. There wasn’t really time on the day with breakfast, seeing family and dinner, so decided to do something this weekend. Gave her some options of what she’d like to do on Sunday, these options we given to her Friday, Saturday and again Sunday morning and out of no where, no one cares about her, she totally lost her shit saying the holiday to Italy was a waste cos it’s not until June. (She’s always wanted to visit this city in italy. So when better to treat her) and that it’s not really a birthday present cos it’s not on her birthday, we both work so needed to sort it with work as well, plus I just started a new job so taking time off in the 1st week wouldn’t look good. Bare in mind for my birthday she was taking me away for a weekend, we still haven’t gone and it’s been over a month. This has blown up to her breaking up with and threatening me and my son. Is it me or is she ungrateful? Honest answers please. Thank you

Rubbish. 16 year olds don't start calling their dad's new girlfriend mum unless they are told to. And her daughter doesn't have a dad either?! This relationship is a mess.

Absolutely not. She despises people who propose on birthdays and xmas

Her threatening to hurt you and your son and kicking you out is abusive. Doesn’t matter that she’s a female- threatening someone is abuse. The fact that these outbursts are becoming more frequent is toxic. I would get away from her as soon as you safely can.

it’s sad that your sons relationship with her daughter might be broken HOWEVER he is learning from your relationship what is/isn’t okay and right now it’s not a good example.

I’m sorry this has happened to you OP. She is being very abusive to you. Threats of violence are not acceptable and you have a duty to protect your son from this.

People can seem really wonderful at first but you only see their true colors a year or two down the line.

He needs a better Mom. You're staying with her aren't you?

Even this is a bit of a red flag. ‘Despising’ people for something so innocuous is a sign of an immature character in my opinion.

Another case of moving in too quickly, you can still have a happy relationship living separately.

Of course he is - they’re soulmates destined to be together apparently

Please quote people when you're replying. Your thread is hard to follow if you don't.

Wow! She sounds like a spoilt narcissistic little brat! All about me me me! So 2k spent on her birthday, her presents, shopping and meal plus a trip to Italy in June isn’t good enough and all you get in return is threats and abuse… and to your son as well? You need to leave op, she sounds vile and abusive and a nasty, spoilt little brat! If that was my birthday I would have loved every second and cherished it and be so excited about the trip to Italy. I think you’ve done amazing for her!

Get away from her. How spoilt and ungrateful. And now she's threatening violence? Be on your own for a while for your poor son and find someone who is actually kind caring and not grabby.

You mention being an older couple. Is it possible she’s menopausal if this is truly out of character?

It’s possible yes. Her mother went through it early. She thinks it could be yes.

Oh stop making excuses! Being menopausal does not make you abusive, threatening and aggressive.

If be more inclined to think she's off her meds.

Anyway, you don't get to act like this because you're menopausal, it doesn't give you an excuse to abuse people.

I think she has an underlying personality disorder anyway, I suppose it's possible it's being exacerbated by menopause...but that's just speculation.

Behaviour is what matters and you shouldn't be subjected to this, and your son even less so.

You are far far far too invested, and have been from the start.

You've put it in some magical, meant to be, soul mate territory that is totally unrealistic and unhealthy.

Most men in your position would have been off after the first or second time there was an "episode".

There are a lot of divorced and separated nice women out there, usually single because they were the victims of cheater, abuser and mid life crisis husbands; desperate to meet a decent man.

Go and find one of those.

And don't pick on only looks/charisma .....people with personality disorders often are charismatic.

I have a feeling that's part of it too.

(I don't mean you don't have to fancy them, of course you do .... Just that you can meet a woman you fancy who's also well adjusted, not crazy and nasty like this one).

Magical thinking from you here OP and time for a reality check.You've rushed into living together, spoilt her rotten and now both your son and you have been chucked out under threat of violence.
She's behaving like a spoilt brat and regardless of if she's menopausal there's no excuse for aggression or abuse.Do yourself and your son a favour and stay well away.

Well now you have learned what shws really like, an entitled bully and an abusive one to boot.

So you have shelled out £2k for her birthday, she got spending money for herself, day out with family and a trip to Italy. In return she whinged that nobody cares about her and threatened with violence to you and your son. My jaw is on the floor.
For comparison, as an adult with 2 kids under the roof (which is expensive) I would be happy with a meal out with family and a small present for myself. As i wouldn’t want ££ spent on me when i’m sure there’s other things that can be spent on for all of us. She is beyond ungrateful.

She sounds like she has serious issues and is beyond entitled and selfish.

And if you back down now, what happens next? Is she going to threaten violence next time to get her way?

It’s difficult cause you live together and your kids get along nicely. But her behaviour is vile and unacceptable and has potential to become regular thing. Does she have any redeeming traits apart from being immature entitled and selfish twat?