Is good sex worth leaving my Husband

[Mariah24]

Me & my Husband have been together for 15 years, 2 children aged 8 & 11. I started having an affair around a year ago. I know it’s bad, it’s so hard to explain, I love my husband but we have problems in the bedroom department, which leave me feeling unloved etc, though I know it’s really not that. My Husband loves me so much.
However the sex I have with this other guy is out of this world & really don’t want to give it up.

I know I need to make a choice and also come clean to my Husband. Just I honestly don’t know what to do, life is otherwise mostly good at home. I know I’m being selfish & I know sex isn’t everything, but why can’t I let it go.

This is your main issue, then. If he won't change, you should absolutely leave and find someone that at least TRIES to meet your needs.

I know the behaviour is bad, I didn’t plan for this to happen believe me.

You planned to meet up with him.

You planned to hide this from your husband.

None of this happened by accident.

You're just a common liar and cheat.

At least own it.

@Starlight1979 how old are you?

Thanks for all the replies, I have read through them all. A lot to think about, I know what I have to do. Just wish I could turn back time but I can’t. Thanks to those that have actually given me advice rather than just slate my behaviour. I never thought I’d be in this position and was faithful to my Husband for 14 years. I’m gonna take time out from everyone and figure out what it is I want in life.

You know your DH loves you, and you seem to like him apart from the sex. I'm not entirely buying that as an excuse of the affair. Sure it makes it harder to stop, now you are getting great sex, but you were not to know that sex would be fantastic with this man before it had happened, and you claim that you thought it was just something about you that lead to no orgasms. So, you entered into an affair not knowing if it would be better, I should think you were responding to this man in lots of other ways leading up to the sex over a period of time.
So at some point, despite the crap sex, you decided to marry him and then have DC's, despite it never having been good, when the usual result would be to end a relationship before it got that far. Because you didn't end it early days, you find yourself here.
If you care for your DH, I'd advise ending your marriage, without necessarily telling him about the affair. You leaving him will probably be devastating enough, is there really a need to pour salt on it by spilling all - both you and him would be more devastated as a result. But that only applies if you've got the balls to go it alone and stop messing about with the OM, otherwise he'd find out eventually.
If you can't stop and intend to continue the affair, you should tell him regardless of the pain.

Is my username not obvious?! 😂

You shouldn't leave your husband. He should leave you.

Never mind deciding what YOU want - how about you let your poor DH, someone you are meant to love, decide if HE wants to be married to a woman who is fucking someone else behind his back?! You aren't the only one who gets to make decisions here you know.
Absolutely awful. Marriage means fuck all to some people.

Do Not tell your husband about the affair unless you are definitely leaving the marriage, keep your horrible secret to yourself, It will destroy him. as others have said get yourself a good vibrator to calm your passion, maybe hubby can help you have fun with it.

How about your children?

Pretty sure @Mariah24 doesn't care about them or anyone else as long as she's getting her orgasms from her other man.

You ask why can't I let it go. The answer is because you are a selfish cheat who is try to justify your actions of meeting your sexual needs before the stability of your two young children. Divorce is hard on children, but divorce because one parent is cheating builds another level into the aftermath. Why not own it and leave or is it because you want the family, stability and security which are all good and are prepared to lie and cheat to get pleasure alongside this.

And you are definitely not a strong person. You are a very weak person.

All very poor from you, can you not discuss with your husband what turns you on to help get that organised. He deserves way better than you and you risk the kids never forgiving you if you carry on and get caught

Cheating is never ok tbh

Your husband and your children deserve better than a weak minded selfish person. Do the right thing qnd leave the marriage.

To those that posted yesterday, this thread is over a year old; but it would be nice to know how the op has got on

I am going against the grain here op but why do you have to tell him?

You’ve tried to work on it with your husband and nothing changed. I get you, been there done that. I haven’t cheated though, but don’t think that you are a terrible person either.

As long as you are discreet about it, as many other men are, and women, I don’t see the harm.

Even if you left him to enjoy your sex life there would still be people to put you in a corner and say what a horrible person you are for breaking up your family unit just to enjoy your orgasms.