Your an absolute and utter fool.
Your children are just about to enter some of the most important years of their life and you have risked huge amounts of trauma for them for the sake of orgasms.
Have you any idea of how potentially toxic your relationship with your dh could be about to become?
And for all the posters who will come along and say kids are fine with divorce, happy mum happy life. That is in no way guaranteed.
Children from seperated families are at risk of experiencing anxiety, depression, attachment issues, education issues to name a few above those of their peers.
Throw in the reason being an affair, your mother potentially shacking up with AP and you have added another shit load of gasoline to the fire.
When you choose to have children, they are supposed to come first. As in you make decisions in life that ultimately are in their best interests.
That doesn't mean having to stay in a relationship you don't want to be. It does however mean leaving it in a way that would cause the least amount of damage possible.
There was a million decisions you could have made, before starting an affair.
Stop right now. Before this blows up in a way you have no control over. Get yourself in front of a good therapist and come up with a plan on telling your DH and figuring out what you actually want in life.
You literally are risking fcking your kids childhood up for a dopamine hit.
And if your still having sex with your husband you are literally removing his informed consent. Alone with all the manipulation you are doing.
Is this really the person you want to be?