Is this abuse or just a bad temper

[BeBrightViper]

Partner of 11 years stopped his car on a country road and told my 16 year old ds to get the f**k out of his car as he had reacted badly to my ds joking with him about a previous drop off at his friends for a birthday party where my partner had refused to reverse on a private lane way and instead had made a few female drivers reverse the whole way down lane. This event was extremely embarrassing to be part of. Anyway he ordered ds out of car and I said if he has to get out I’m getting out too. He replied fine ! I got out and he drove off leaving me and ds on a country road with no footpath or lights. I’m struggling to get past this and to understand is it at a level that could be classed as abusive ?

It's not too late to do what you should have done 11 years ago and put your children first, and get you and your ds away from this peice of shit. Without delay.

Sorry I’ve commented by accident and can’t delete it as it won’t allow me. So I’ll have to edit it to this!

Reading between the lines I suspect everything has to be done 'his' way and your family need to respect that. Regarding the particularly embarrassing episode making several females reverse so he didn't have to, He knows he was a dick, everyone involved knows he was a dick and your son was pointing out he was a dick. I suspect your DP can't take criticism eventhough he was wrong so has to 'blow up' and teach you all a particularly pathetic lesson. In essence he can never be wrong.

A fragile ego is a huge red flag for narcissism. As is the lack of empathy. You probably won't want to hear this but you need to leave him or ask him to leave. This will never be a good relationship for you and you need your kids out of this toxic situation pronto.

This!

Wake up op!

You even have to ask? It's unacceptable behaviour. What else does he fly off the handle about as I'll bet there's no end of things.

I would have taken that as him ending it personally.

There's no coming back from that either way.

He's a prick.

Agree. Far too many threads where women put dick before kids. It’s horrific - the poor kids suffered every time because they’re not being prioritised by their parent.

Him refusing to move and making other drivers reverse would have ended things for me I'm afraid. What a nasty man

@Xenoi24 is right. You are letting him abuse your children. For Christ's sake woman, stop putting them through this.

You are damaging your children. You are causing them emotional, spiritual & physical hurt. The cortisol this ARSEHOLE is causing to flood their systems is changing their body chemistry. You are letting them be beaten down by life before they've got started.

This has to stop and it's your job to stop it.

The OP will do bugger all
The children will continue to endure this shit show of a childhood

The OP will continue to start multiple mumsnet threads though

Time to put your children first.

Not only is he abusing you and your son, but he is going to kill somebody one of these days. Expressing anger through dangerous driving is unconscionable. I would be making an exit plan, and neither I nor my children would be getting into a car with him again.

Your poor DS has had this abusive man in his home since he was 5 years old and I my now you’re questioning it?

These threads where women are so desperate for any old dick they put their kids through hell make me so angry. Your children’s entire childhood has been destroyed by this abusive twat and your unwillingness to take off your rose tinted specs and to prioritise your children.

I couldn’t make myself get into bed with a man that is so ridiculously pathetic and insecure… let alone let him live in the same household as my kids.

Horrible behaviour.

So many dickheads around.