im thinking too :/
my husband can be really loving at times, but usually he has a short fuse and puts me down.
if I bring up my feelings he immediately takes it as a personal attack and blames me. For example I told him I’m unhappy with him making comments towards me all the time etc and he denied any wrong doing and said it’s my fault for being too sensitive.
it’s been going on for years. It was the most recent that made me really think though, and think back and realise it’s emotional abuse.
id brought up something that was upsetting me and he got really mad. He followed me around the house basically saying how it’s all my fault, I’m always trying to make out he’s the bad guy when I’m the problem and he’s the victim etc. anyway I’d tried and tried to walk away but he followed me continuing. So I burst into tears (first time I’d ever done so) , and he looked at me with a serious expression and said “maybe I should call an ambulance… you’re clearly unstable. You shouldn’t be going near the kids! You’re unfit” , I locked myself in the bathroom sobbing and he kicked the door in. Saying I’m mentally ill etc. eventually I calmed down , realising he isn’t going to stop. And had to pretend everything was fine so he’d leave me alone. He then talked about the garden like nothing happened.
he’s just like the post described. Spiteful. Purposely awkward etc.
trust me it only gets worse.
it’s been over a year since the above happened. I can’t stop thinking about it. I tried to leave him before Christmas and he threatened to unalive himself.
I stuck to it at first. He said he was getting his things, and removed some slats from the bed hoping I’d fall through when I went to bed. He hid the remote so I couldn’t watch tv, he took my phone charger etc. just being as inconvenient as possible.
told my family that I’m obviously just hormonal or it’s obviously my thyroid condition because I’m so irrational.
he purposely left things at the house so he’d have to keep returning.
he then turned up crying saying he’ll change. I felt sorry for him and let him come back.
hes Really loving and nice, so hel get me chocolate from the shop etc , cuddle me and tell me he loves me, plan family holidays etc.
and then just like a switch being flipped, he’s the man above.
I made the mistake of only thinking of the good times. Saying to myself he’s changing! I should be patient. I should be supporting him more so he can change without me nagging.
now I keep thinking of the above. Knowing I have to leave him.
even though I love him.
because men like that don’t change.
so I’m now saving money secretly, once I have enough I’ll leave while he’s at work.
every single time you forgive or make excuses , you’re enabling it.
break the cycle!