He's a bad Whatsapper

[JamSandle]

Sort of seeing someone new. Very early days. When I say seeing, we have met a couple of times.

Hes a very lazy Whatsapper. By that I mean if you send a message, even one that involves meeting up and confirming details, he takes a while to reply, sometimes days.

It all just feels a bit boring/low effort.

When you're into someone, you enjoy messaging (in my experience anyway).

He said he wants to go on another date but his lack of messaging is putting me off to be honest and I'm thinking of just saying forget about it.

I know some on here say messaging doesn't mean much, it's how they are in person.

But it just feels so low effort I can't really be bothered myself anymore.🤣

I would bin him. Taking a few days to reply to a WhatsApp shows he really doesn’t care.

I agree. Just seems a way for him to pass the time.

I posted on here 3 years ago that an online match was crap at messaging. Everyone said block and delete.

We’re married now. He’s just not a phone guy but he would always make sure dates and times were dates were booked in. In person he’s very attentive and the best partner you could wish for.

If you have interest in him, I would be upfront and say you’re looking for something significant and if he’s not on the same page wish him well.

I don’t WhatsApp my partner at all unless it’s totally perfunctory. He hates messaging. He’s great in real life.

I'm not sure if I'm looking for something significant at this stage. Much too early. But he is such a bad replier it's really putting me off! I know some people are just bad messengers, but does it really take days to confirm a date?

I'm curious how crap your husband is at messaging and is he better now? Congratulations:)

Im a big communicator so lazy messaging would be a deal breaker for me but different things work for different people.

If it’s not working for you tell him. If he knows and nothing changes then he’s not the one for you

Taking days to confirm dates would be a red flag for me. Its saying he’s not that bothered about prioritising you

That’s not bad messaging. That’s him just not being into you, if he was he would be keen to arrange dates not leaving it hanging for day.

That's what I think.

He did make the effort to ask me for another date. So I sent him some dates I'm free (May is a busy one for me).

No reply yet.

If you messaged to say something he was bothered about, he'd reply.

I agree.

What comes to mind for me is:

'If they like you, you'll know. If they don't, you'll feel confused.'

I wouldn’t message him again. Wait to see if he does reply and in mean time don’t stop making other plans.

Don't message him when he replies.

See how he reacts.

Oh days to reply? Nah, screw that! I would be irritated too.

By the significant thing, I don’t mean with him necessarily but more in general.

Thanks! My now DH was just extremely boring over WhatsApp and wouldn’t ask questions including setting up the first date! I ended up forcing his hand because I fancied him physically tbh! He still gives very short answers & quite factual but in person he’s very warm & funny.

Thank you! I have a really busy May and June is filling up too so I'm not leaving space for him in case he replies.

Yes sorry he’s not into you enough, very classic signs. Yes some people aren’t big texters but they still arrange and confirm regular dates and show they are keen to seen you

as he’s doing neither, he’s not into you, which is absolutely find and you move on x

He sounds bit time wasting.. had friend like that took ages replying so I dont bother making plans now

Yes I think it is the classic he's just not that into you. Onwards and upwards!

Its just off-putting isn't it?

I couldn't stand someone with this slow communication style it's just too different to how I am, otherwise you're forcing yourself to be very patient and not get too invested because his slowness might be uninterested, I guess if you could hang in there for a while longer but keep your options open.

Thanks for your reply.

Definitely keeping options open.

I've learned not to put all my eggs in one basket!

I've never understood the messaging rules on OLD and in relationships and all that stuff.

I see a text, if it requires a reply, I reply. I takes 30 seconds, maybe a minute.

Other people read the text and then... Put their phone day for a day to think it over? Plan what emoji their going to use? Research their response in a dictionary and thesaurus? Contact Susie Dent to help word it just right?

I only asked if you wanted to go mini golf or the movies, it doesn't need 3 days to formulate a response.. and even then all you replied with was,
"Golf 😄"

I didn't go golfing in the end, well, not with them anywho. 🤣

Oh my gosh, this guy is also a golfer!

But yes...it literally takes 5 seconds to type 31 works for me!

It's not writing War and Peace.

I'd love to reply to you.

But first.

I have to.

Now the lawn.

Put the bins out.

Bath the dog.

Sleep on it twice.

Check with NASA

Get a report done by the CIA

Then I'll give you a 1 word response that closes the chat and doesn't invite reply.

"Ok"

I'm also reflecting on a few other things I didn't like...

• Talked over me a fair bit on our last date which i remember not liking at the time.
• A bit black and white in his thinking
• Very opinionated.
• Remember him talking about his job quite a lot and talking about all the letters he could put after his name.

To balance it he did pick me up, drop me off, buy us drinks (but I did too) and has cooked for me.

I would never have WhatsApp.

People today have become anxious and suspicious because of instant messaging.

Life was much easier before mobile phones when you met someone and arranged to see them next Friday at such and such a place at X time. The days beforehand were spent stress free getting in with your life and looking forward to the date.

Once you had been dating a few times you might get the occasional long land line call when work or other commitments meant you couldn't see each other for awhile.

Women in particular have seized the instant messaging more so than men and have become very needy.