He's a bad Whatsapper

[JamSandle]

Sort of seeing someone new. Very early days. When I say seeing, we have met a couple of times.

Hes a very lazy Whatsapper. By that I mean if you send a message, even one that involves meeting up and confirming details, he takes a while to reply, sometimes days.

It all just feels a bit boring/low effort.

When you're into someone, you enjoy messaging (in my experience anyway).

He said he wants to go on another date but his lack of messaging is putting me off to be honest and I'm thinking of just saying forget about it.

I know some on here say messaging doesn't mean much, it's how they are in person.

But it just feels so low effort I can't really be bothered myself anymore.🤣

But the way we started talking was via WhatsApp so its the normal method of chatting for us.

I dont think its needy for him to confirm a date with me.

“Hi Brian, not sure this is going to work as we seem to have very different communication styles”

So phone him. I can't tell tone or intent from whatsapp, unless he's a very gifted writer

@JamSandle I dont think its needy for him to confirm a date with me.

if he was truly interested he would confirm a date with you. The ball is in his court now, I think you’ve done your part.

Did you meet him on OLD op? If so, did he take days to reply on there?

A mutual friend put us in touch so we got each others numbers and started from there. He was very good in the beginning.

100% this, if someone was demanding on consent attention on what WhatsApp and complaining about it I would bin them

Yeah, if his effort has dropped off, then he's just keeping you as a backburner.

A. This is not a partner with an established relationship, it's a new boyfriend.
B. She just wants him to confirm their next date, not message her every 30 seconds.

thats even worse, what’s wrong with actually speaking to someone to establish a confirmation of a date, I don’t get this entire “ the person hasn’t replied to my text / message so the world is about to end “ mindset
if you want to know something- try asking someone directly

He asked me by message so I replied by message. Its not an unusual form of communication.

Cos a lot of people hate phone calls these days. So passé 😂

I must be 1000 years old then - messaging people is great, but some respond in their own sweet time - if you need a answer- what’s wrong with actually asking someone in person- the way people used to 🤷🏼

He did make the effort to ask me for another date. So I sent him some dates I'm free (May is a busy one for me).No reply yet.

This makes me think he's keeping his options open in case a better offer comes along.

Because they've been talking on whatsapp and that's the usual method of communication for them. It's weird to suddenly ring someone. I mostly speak to my boyfriend by message as we don't live together and if he were to phone me, I'd think there was an emergency 😂

And if OP's guy's messages have dropped off from what they were in the beginning, it probably means he's not bothered, in which case phoning him up could be embarrassing.

@Fs365 I'm in my 40s and have been texting friends/love interests for well over 20 yrs. WhatsApp might be relatively new but messaging/texting isn't.

Yeah I dated an ex-colleague like that last year. It drove me mad. He still texts me randomly and I reply, then he takes weeks to reply. I couldn’t cope with it, I figure if he was keen he would want to message me, and he clearly didn’t

And I’m in my 50s and yet somehow managed to date people before the messaging / texting platforms were invented.

but irrespective of that, I’m constantly amazed at how people tie themselves in knots of the meaning and interpretation of a text. If you want to know what someone is thinking, why not try asking them

Eh, I remember back in the day people tying themselves up in knots about whether to phone the guy or not, waiting in for calls, wondering if he was deliberately not answering, what to say on answerphones (which reminds me of Monica in a Friends episode 😂), pressing in 141(?) to hide your number and 1471 to check what was the last number that phoned up.

I expect they did back when it was love-notes and fan-signals.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose 😂

When did it become a necessity to use WhatsApp to communicate?

I don't use it and would never expect anyone else to.

Maybe you should make sure when dating that you agree early on about a method of communications that work for both of them.

I personally find it tedious that people spend so much of their day texting/ whatsApping/posting trite on social media and I have no interest on dating someone who place a lot of importance on this.

Its pretty common for me and my friend group. I assume its generational.

Absolutely. We did a lot of things differently back then but the world of communication has changed.

Im in my 50’s and other than my mum I can’t remember the last time I had a phone conversation with anyone. All of my circle communicate via WhatsApp and any man I’ve dated, phone calls are a step you both agree to don’t just call someone unsolicited.

It’s pretty standard for most generations to communicate via WhatsApp now probably apart from the over 70’s

What on earth has communicating via WhatsApp got to do with ‘posting trite on social media?’

Based on this update, do you really want to see him again anyway? He talks over you, has no nuance in his thinking and boasts about his job status. The good points don't seem very special. It feels like you should hold out for better, OP. It is irrelevant whether or not he's into you if you're not into him!

You sound great. I hope you meet someone worthy of you soon.