Husband guaranteed his friends mortgage so I want to separate.

[HoveactuallyBrighton]

Exactly what the thread title says.
Our home's at risk if his friend can't pay the mortgage.

What happens to the mortgage guarantee when we separate?

Please see a solicitor immediately, then you decide if you want to leave.
Also why is his friend getting involved in your marriage, and why are you letting him. Next time he says something say this is none of your business and mean it.
From a personal point if view, your husband slyly doing this would be enough for me to separate and divorce.

@Catniagara
"Kindness and care from him"? Jealous?
WTF
They've been together for 12 years, and he told her to give up work because they had no other childcare! She's contributed fully and would be seen to have in law too. OP has as much right to the equity as he has after such a long marriage.
He's treated her with complete contempt by not allowing her to be on the title deeds.
Kindness and care, and Jealous, my arse!

If you read the posts, I'm sure it's just the short term Bridging loan the husband has acted as guarantor on. Not the whole mortgage.
I dunno, maybe he just wants to do his friends a favour and he trusts his friend?

I suspect your house is not security for the guarantee. If there is a default on the friend's mortgage, they will come for your husband's assets though which includes the house. The reason why the bank requires a guarantee is that they are not sure the borrower is a good risk. You have to ask yourself why your husband trusts the friend more than the bank does. I would be incandescent with rage if my husband did this - bridging or not. As a young solicitor I saw a guarantee called up and it was beyond awful for the family concerned. The two pieces of commercial advice I have given my children is to never borrow to buy depreciating assets and to never give a guarantee. I think you need legal advice and to think very seriously about your marriage. I'd be doing everything to update any qualifications and get back to fulltime work.

I think the original poster caused confusion by calling it a “bridging loan”. But it’s clearly not.

To recap the information by the poster as I understand it, the friend bought the new place on the assumption the old one would sell for a lot more. It didn’t and the bank refused to lend the extra funds needed for the new house without the difference of £500,000 being guaranteed by someone with assets and equity I.e the poster and her husband. The friend still has to pay all of it off over the life of the loan with regular mortgage payments.

It’s understandable for the original poster to be upset at her agreement not being sought. That’s seriously a lot of money and the bank determined the friend was not a good risk.

Op, I woujd be devastated too.
The dishonesty and contempt he has shown would finish the marriage for me.

See a solicitor first thing on Monday. Start looking into a career.
I would be wondering what else he is capable of, this is no way to live. Your dh has no respect for you. He needs to sleep on the sofa, not you.

Thanks for this summary

OK that was a helpful summary and if this is the case then that is a slightly different scenario to the one I'd understood.
However that may be worse for divorce purposes and OP would do well to get legal advice on that, to understand the position on how this kind of thing would be considered as part of the joint asset pot. Because like it or not he's entered into this whilst they are married so I'm not sure that a divorce means that OP walks away with zero impact from it. But I'm not expert

"Fair play"? If we are going to go that way, then the louse of a husband can pay out beau coup bucks to pay for the maid, nanny and chef that he has had for all of these years. I would think a half-million would cover half the costs for all of those years. Plus child support and since it seems he spends no time with his kids, he can pass on visitation of 50/50 or EOW.

I mean, that's fair play, isn't it?

You are steeped in misogyny. How very pitiful.

Good advice, see a solicitor asap.

It's not a bridging loan. The friend seemingly got less money from the sale than he thought and had to get a very large loan in in relation to the money he was putting down ie he had a small deposit. Banks usually charge higher interest rates in this situation and in this case a guarantor in this case for the new mortgage on the new house.

Usually the lender will require the guarantor to get separate legal advice so they know what they are getting into - it is in the bank's interest that the guarantor is not able to slither out of the guaranatee on the basis that they they didn't understand what they were signing. Did your husband get independent legal advice? Does he have any idea of the potential liability he has taken on?

As I said above, I would be getting out of this marriage as soon as I could and getting my half of the property. Yes, it was your husband's house originally but you have taken 10 years out to birth and raise his children (and the staying at house and raising was his idea but probably because he was too cheap to pay his share of childcare costs) and you should be compensated for that. Presumably your pension pot is much less too.

Frankly, your husband seems to care more about his friend than he cares about you and your children.

If you're not on the deeds, the house isn't yours. If you're married you might be able to claim some of it if you leave him.
Registering an interest does not mean you can claim on the house - it's more to do with planning permission etc.
Honestly, the much bigger issue here is that the house is not jointly in your names. Why have you put up with that for so long?
Signing as a guarantor is not the big deal youre making it out to be. It's a bank safety net and the likelihood is that there were technicalities surrounding the bridging loan.
To be frank, the house isn't in your name your DH has every right to secure an asset on it himself without asking you.
It's perhaps not kind or sensible, but this financial situation is of your own making as you do not have a financial stake in the home you own.

That’s highly unlikely to be correct in terms of property purchase, lenders do not like loans for this, and overwhelmingly likely to be bridging as the husband said, it’s clear the op doesn’t know or understand finances , so I’d not just read her thoughts and think yeah that is right,

I don't know how to keep living in the same house as him.
I'm very upset and hiding it.
I feel cheated and disappointed.

My pension pot is tiny.
I'm training to get back in my field - I've got such a gap in my knowledge.

Why do you feel cheated? This is all very extreme. Is there signficant other issues in your marriage?

I thought he valued me but this and other issues show he doesn't.

OK, I take your point 🤣 especially after @WalkingaroundJardine's helpful summary!

Of course she feels cheated! She had a good job, and he made her leave it because he wanted children. He refuses to put her name on the house deeds, despite being married for over a decade! She earns no money, and has hardly any pension, because of him. Her reaction is not extreme in the slightest. This man does not respect her or treat her as his equal. He sees her as his nanny and housekeeper. So yes, this is the significant issue in her marriage.

I've realised from the people on here that I'm not unreasonable or selfish. I thought I was.
Thank you for pointing this out.

@HoveactuallyBrighton check your house insurance to see whether it has legal cover attached to it, in which case you may be able to phone up and ask for advice on this. I say may because the types of issues they deal with will depend on the exact nature of the legal cover they provide, but it's a good starting point before you start forking out for a solicitor.

You are absolutely not unreasonable or selfish. I would be beyond livid and preparing the groundwork to leave. How can you possibly trust him? How can you feel secure knowing he is content to do exactly as he likes at your expense.

Of course you can not live like this, nor should you ever have to. He has really let you down op.

He's now acting as the victim and saying I'm unreasonable and ungrateful.
I feel like shit.

I'm really sorry that I gave you a hard time last night OP. I'm used to being in his position. And as PPs have said, I clearly lack awareness. But he can't be all bad, honestly, if he's looked after you in this way for so long. It's a million times more than I ever managed to achieve with a man, in terms of being looked after. (My own fault, obvs, but still.) Is there any way you can find mutual ground? Yes, it's a potentially stressful situation. But I'm not sure looking at it in terms of outrage is going to help matters. It's all very well these threads fanning righteous indignation, but if he truly didn't respect you, your life would look very different, I promise you.

Of course he is, he needs to keep you subordinated so that you carry on serving him!
What arguments did he come up with in support of his position?