Help me decide if should I text! Going crazy.

[BristolZoo]

A few weeks ago I started seeing a bloke from work. He was lovely, we got on well it was all good. We went on about 5 dates and spent the night together. I was very clear that I didn't do one night stands and he agreed that this wasn't one. We had a lovely night together.
In the weeks since he has grown more distant, not texting, too busy to meet etc..
It's just classic - he not that into me and I have to get over it.

But, I'm really struggling to move on from it and am annoyed at myself for trusting him so quickly. I think, because I knew him I felt a stronger connection more quickly than I would have if we were strangers from OLD.

I haven't heard anything from him for a few days now. I really want clarity but I don't want to look like I'm desperate or needy. I feel hurt by his actions but not sure how to act around him. I have to see him next week, goodness knows how he thinks that's going to go!
Text or no text!? What do I say?

I can see both sides of this but I tend to agree that people like this won't take on board any criticism.

Treat him as a step towards your next relationship. He suited the time and place but he doesn't deserve any more thought than that.

He doesn't actually know how you feel so leave it like that. Be cool and ignore.

Ahh man. Been here often. And have text 😭. It's so though. It's just the not knowing! I think it you're a nice person, you can't comprehend anyone doing something like that, and therefore struggle a bit. If it ever was to happen again, I'd just pretend I didn't like them. I'd just get in there first with a "it isn't you, it's me" comment. And then block.

Never dip your pen into the company's ink.
That is a motto to live and die for. Sorry that you had to learn the lesson the hard way.
Next time you'll know better.

What are you talking about. ? "Crawling back"... Do you know this person or the OP ?
Don't give false hope, especially if it's driven by a sense of revenge.

The first thing or fling, after a long relationship has ended, is often intense for the reasons you described. Was always going to be a risk mixing work with it, you probably considered this, but ignored it due to the ego boost, excitement and thrill of it at the time.
Looking at it like you got something out of your system is probably a good way to see it, you also know that everything works as it should - perimenopause will possibly be on it's way, so it is actually reassuring. You also will find, unfortunately, that men like this are more in abundance since you dated in your younger years. There are more men who are in their 40's and single, specifically because they behave like this, either commitment phobes or damaged by emotional baggage. The only chance of weeding them out is to take longer getting to know them and ignore the urge to get physical before knowing. Even then, there are no guarantees, and to a degree, it's a choice to accept risk or not at the time on balance given what we know at the time, sometimes it doesn't work out as some men lie, that's life unfortunately.

Thanks mother, bit patronising!

Plenty of long-lasting wonderful relationships start at work.

I agree with this but I wouldn't block (if you have work chat groups it may 'flag up' and then people would get curious)...
My dear much-missed mum used to say to me " head up high, shoulders back - STRUT into that room and fake it (confidence) till you feel it" - I'm now 56 and I still do this many times a year!
Remember it's his loss and you don't actually want someone who will go cold on you after they've slept with you! It's frankly juvenile behaviour from him and I'd bet he'll feel just as/ if not more - awkward than you when you cross paths at work - because he knows he's not been kind to you. He may even be worried that others at work know about how he's acted....

I think if you can delete his number then you should to avoid the temptation of messaging.

Although you may feel a sense of injustice going over it or attempting to make him see your perspective will just be a waste of energy.

Whatever feelings you have will pass, just give it time and as they “fake it till you make”

Be cordial and professional at work but don’t engage in any friendly chit chat with him.

Please do NOT text because when he ignores you, you will feel even worse than you do now.

try hard to resist the idea that you should have waited longer to have sex! You wanted to do it and it was fun, that’s fine. He’s been a prick by acting like he wanted it to carry on with the arrangement then dropping you. I’ve never understood the advice to ‘wait’ - for what? So you’re even more hurt when he stops talking to you after you waited 2 months and thought he was decent? 5 dates is pretty long to wait anyway I feel.