My boyfriend has multiple things going on in his life. Always has. Has hidden a large amount of stuff from me.
He has hurt everyone around him to the point he has little old me and one adult child whos back on the scene for now.
Bullet points to keep it short
●stolen money from me and borrowed never paid it back.
●lost his job 7 months ago. He does have a medical issue, it does need sorting, it does limit him physically but he lost his job because he stole and sold a piece of equipment (he denies it)
● i have only recently found out he has an addiction. He hid it well as i didnt know and still wouldnt know as he isnt ever obviously high. But based on the fact ive found drugs and pipes in his house several times now its obvious.
● financially hes now on his bum. Has never paid a utility bill in 8 months. He lives off £700 a month and his rents £450. Even if he was genuine you cant live of that but still.
●in january he got £4000 and spent it in a month. Did not see me for 4 weeks. I can only presume it was drugs. When i did go round again i went in his drawers and he was storing clothes and other stuff linked to i presume using drugs. I found another phone wrapped in a bag. He ruined everything at this point.
● Ive found out this week that hes now been telling the couple of family members that do talk to him that im in some way giving him a hard time and they are avoiding me. I messaged his daughter when he went missing for a day who has translated my concern into me being smoothering and controlling him. Shes chinesed whispered to 2 others im not very nice.
●verbal abuse, lies and silent treatments have crippled me.
Now ill explain what im doing about it. Ive emotionally distanced myself. Ive naturally fallen out of love. I see no future. I dont fancy him. I see so much toxicity. Im ashamed to be seen with him. Im sick of his life style. Nobody he speaks to can be trusted.
I have been in therapy since march breaking the trauma bond. I ended it yesterday and was quite angry with him. He kept begging me to stop messaging in as he was already struggling and depressed and had no reason to carry on living.
I know he gets suicidal and he has nothing left. It makes me feel like if i leave him he may hurt himself. This is keeping me trapped.
I need some advice. I wont block him as the anxiety of him coming to my house will be so strong. I dont want to be brutal but i will block when weve had a few days apart.
Im so worried