Top places exH sulked - can anyone top these! (semi-lighthearted!)

[heliosoftroy]

Currently going through a divorce from my super sulker ex, and often find myself thinking, with incredulity, at some of the sulks soon-to-be-exH pulled in the most inopportune moments! Top sulk moments -

• On a beach in the Florida Keys. Also a beach in Miami (separate occasion)
• Sitting in the 3rd row of the stalls at Hamilton on Broadway
• At my birthday dinner out in a fancy restaurant
• All the way on a 3hr train journey to a romantic weekend away I planned for his birthday
• The first Christmas I went to stay with his family
• At Peppa Pig World in the very long queue for a ride
• DC's birthday party
• On a cruise in the middle of the Caribbean
• Looking round wedding venues...

I'm sure there are more, but anyone got any crackers from sulking partners to make me feel better?!

It’s wonderful!

My ex H mega sulker sulked the entire way through my dad’s funeral. Face like a slapped arse. Not because he was mourning, oh no. Because my boyfriend was there, who was also sulking because I told him not to attend, I didn’t want him there. He had demanded to be allowed in the family car following the hearse. I’d said no. He was dumped the same day.
they both made it about themselves the entire day. Ex H was there because our daughter wanted him to be there. The sulking was strong that day. I ignored them both and got reasonably drunk.

I’m loving this thread, bring back so many memories of sulking ex’s, for most that’s why their exs.

others I have

My brother - sulked because his future SIL & mil got a stripper for his fiancés hen do. The wedding was called off and he didn’t talk to her family for 5 years because they didn’t respect him by getting a stripper 🙄🤔 Sadly and stupidly, my SIL his fiancé did eventually marry him.

He got his behaviour from our narc mother who has so many stories, but one that sticks is she ignored me completely for 2 weeks because I made a last minute decision to traveled half way across the world after a family member died. I felt I needed to be home with family. I hadn’t told my parents I was coming just one of my brothers ( not the sulker), I knew I’d be told not to come and save my money as flights were really expensive. At this point I’d seen my family once in 7 years, this was the third family member to die in a matter of months and I wanted to be with my family. But because I hadn’t told her I was coming home she ignored me the entire trip including at the funeral. I didn’t see or speak to her again for another 6 years. She apparently could not understand why I stopped bothering to contact her after that trip.

Another ExH sulk. His mum bought him a brown leather wallet for Christmas! He refused to speak to her and threw it across the room. He apparently wanted a black one… The same year I bought him festival tickets to see several of his favourite bands. He’d been to loads of festivals and concerts, some world famous moments in time. I’d never ever seen a band live let alone international acts. So I bought 2 tickets, you know so we could share the experience. Apparently me going ruined it for him and sulked. It was a crap Christmas according to him, no mention of the fact he apparently lost his entire wages Christmas Eve so had to borrow money of me to buy his families and my gifts, I lent him $300, he bought my Christmas presents which included a ugly brown mirror and a cheap pair of stud earrings in yellow gold, I only ever wore silver or white gold jewellery and a plastic photo frame that he also sulked about because I put pictures of my nieces in it and not him… Not sure what happened to his wages that day, I know he had been paid as I was his payroll person (we worked at same company) and I never saw my $300 again.

Mine sulked because the dr performing my emergency c section was a man and could see me with no clothes on.

i should have had him surgically removed at the same time 😅

@Sevenwondersofthewoo yes my immediate thought is that the husband hasn't spoken to the dentist, @justasking111 . Telling me what other people had apparently said when in fact they either hadn't said a word, or had said the exact opposite, was another trick the sulker I was unfortunately with loved to play.

You’ve not said anything John. Are you sulking?

My mother was a Sulker Extraordinaire, she'd carry it for days. I vowed I'd never suffer it again.
First time DH sulked I told him straight he'd do it the first time and the last time. He never did it with me again.

All through a 9-day holiday in Mykonos last year. It literally reduced me to tears in public.

The relationship ended a week after we got back.

I realise with hindsight that he was the definition of a man-child, and a sex pest who could sulk for England if he didn’t get laid.

Surely your h is making it up?!

My BF really wanted to have his parents come to dinner at my house because he’d fitted me a new kitchen. He insisted I sat and chatted with them whilst he did everything (basic roast) anyway he got jealous of us laughing without him, called me in to finish everything whilst he sat for a chat. I asked where he was at with the dinner and he went mad, called me a selfish f’ ing cu@t and stormed off.

I am so sorry to read some of these, my heart goes out to you all 💐
Mine was quite mild in comparison, my ex, going back to the mid to late 80s. I was in my late teens, he was 7 years older than me.
I used to stay with him at his parents on a weekend if I wasn't working. If we didn't fall in with the pub doors opening at 7pm, he would sulk all weekend, until I went home on a Sunday afternoon. He had to be stood there when the door was unlocked, it was bizarre! (Needless to say, a lot of the time we were late because he hadn't given me enough time to get ready to go out!)
The rest of the weekend would be monosyllabic answers to questions, no eye contact, no physical contact. He was a massive sulker! His lovely mum just used to look at him and roll her eyes and smile at me, all embarrassed!
Another occasion, he spent an early evening stood at the bar, leaving me sat alone, (which he never usually did) because he had a crush on the new, young barmaid and her huge cleavage. When I had the audacity to mention it, quite calmly, he came and plonked himself down, in sight of said barmaid, who was spilling out of her blouse, stared at her and went into a major sulk with me! Obviously, I'd spoilt his fun! So I slugged the last of my drink back, got up and buggered off home on the bus! He rang the next day, all apologies and declaring his undying love for me!
He asked me to marry him on bended knee on Christmas Eve, in front of his family Christmas tree, in December 1989. I knew then it wouldn't get that far, I'd seen far too much of the mean, sulky side by then.
I broke up with him the following May. Every time I bump into his SIL, she says he's never been the same since I dumped him and regrets that he let me go... This is 25 years on...
Lucky escape in my opinion!

You say sulking....that is only half the story. People don't sulk for no reason. What led up to it.

We've found the sulker everyone!

I think we have @LordPercyPercy 🤣🤣🤣

He sulked and turned back to home on a day trip as I was ‘ignoring him’. I was looking out of the passenger window at the view.

I am so so glad you've got rid of this man. For some reason this made me really sad, I pictured you enjoying yourself and the scenery and Mr Miseryguts deciding to ruin it for you.
I hope you enjoy many wonderful views now that he's gone.

My DM, though generally good, was now and then an epic sulker. She’d have a ‘face’ on IYKWIM for several days and make a horrible atmosphere in the house - we’d be tiptoeing around her on eggshells. They’re both long gone now but I can’t help blaming my DF (also on eggshells) for not telling her to FGS grow up!

Once when I was maybe 12 and she was in another major sulk, I walked into town, prob.2 miles, and spent all my meagre pocket money on some flowers for her. When I gave them to her she just barely looked and said, ‘I don’t want them.’
I was so pissed off, I took them next door and said they were for their old granny, pretending I’d bought them specially.

Later my DM asked where the flowers were - DF had probably had a go - I said, ‘You didn’t want them! I gave them to old Mrs P.’

DM was then pissed off with me, almost certainly embarrassed in case I’d told next door I’d bought them for DM but she hadn’t wanted them. (Which I hadn’t.)
It still rankles many decades later - I could never in a million years have behaved like that to dds.

We see you…

He does have form for this using my adult sons. Saying things like I'd embarrassed them at a family event, that I'd done something to offend their partners, at first I was upset then I became suspicious.

Weirdly all three sons took me out to a beautiful restaurant sans dad as a late mothers day present. It was a fun relaxing evening me sitting listening to my children getting along so well. He sulked about that a bit.

One epic sulk recently that has bitten him on the arse. He was mid sulk when son and wife called in all excited because they'd booked a gorgeous villa in a place husband loves. They quite clearly asked if we would like to join them, husband wallowing ignored them. My son another day asked again, was ignored. I was really sad. Wanted to holiday with the grandkids a lot.

A month later they visited and DIL was talking about the holiday, saying her mum and partner were going with them. They left.

Cue a meltdown, why had they asked them instead of us. I explained that they had, twice in fact. Mutterings that he hadn't heard those conversations, you were sitting in the bloody chair in the sitting room on both occasions, blanked them on both occasions.

He's had the odd moan since about being robbed of a good holiday 🙄

Fortunately my lovely husband has never sulked; however, my father…. Omg, he was a World Champion sulker! I’m sure the idiom, ‘cutting off your nose to spite your face,’ was written with him in mind!

He and my mother had a tumultuous relationship to say the least. My mother was far from innocent but after every row, however big or small, he would sulk for anything between 2-6 weeks! He once refused to speak to my mother for a month because she laughed when the ‘shortcut’ he was adamant he knew would be quicker, resulted in us getting lost and arriving at a family gathering half an hour late!

Whenever he sulked, he would use my sister and I to relay messages to our mother, even when we were all in the same room! We would all be sitting at the dining table and mother would (I’m sure deliberately) have placed his favourite HP sauce next to her at the far end of the table to him, whereupon, he would turn to me and say, “Please tell your mother to pass me the sauce.” 😁I would ask my mother and she would smile sweetly, bypass the HP and give the tomato ketchup to me to pass down the table to my father! 🤣🤣🤣 At this point, he would stomp out of the room in a huff and go to bed without any supper!

I knew from an early age that I could never marry a sulker!

@justasking111 Do you intend staying with your 'D'H?

Please tell me he’s not still your BF?!

@BouleDeSuif @Endoftheroad12345 I suppose it shouldn’t be a surprise, both of you mention parents, and my father was a sulker (and a really emotionally abusive one - lots of screaming and cussing BEFORE the silent treatment) so if my grandparents hadn’t taken over raising me, I very well might have picked someone like him if I’d been exposed to him longer. And I have to tell you, they really never change. I’d been out of contact with my father for 15 years. He recently died and ffs, he died EXACTLY how he lived - couldn’t have been more on the nose. So if you ever feel that you’re waiting for closure from your parents, get therapy instead (it sounds like you have, @Endoftheroad12345 , and it’s helped).

I think that’s a really interesting idea of not having low self-esteem but having a high tolerance for pain. I suppose the women that I see leave with kids often have a certain kind of high pain tolerance, a desperation to get their kids away from it, and the women who stay even after the kids are “gone,” are often those who have been so beaten down, feel they’ll never work out a break-up financially, and have a different kind of high pain tolerance that allows them to live through the hurt versus the fear of breaking up and the unknown (or the very known lowered circumstances).

I do hope you’re both out of those situations (sounds like it, obviously) and that you’ve been able to do the work to make sure you never end up in one again, or that you know how to leave a relationship like that immediately if you ever do. Good luck!

In the hallelujah spirit of well done, ditching him. Well done!

But also thinking of SIL about to be on 4th????? mariage.

Choose more wisely next time. Make sure he has values and actions to match that make you think he's a decent human being, who you respect for his values and actions.

SIL. I wish her the best. But there was a single common denominator in the failure of her past three marriages. And she hasn't changed or grown wiser. Or behaved better.

I don't know how long you were married. I hope you had some good times out of it. But trust me, when you're old, and have decades of life and family experiences - and then married relationships around you crumble - you just wish they had set their standards higher or found someone more compatible.

We're all different. But I hope next time, you wake up living the life, the small moments, with someone you value for his core values/ kindness/ perspective on life.

2 questions:

why didn’t you say yes - and if he really didn’t want to go, go without him?!

why are you with him?

Yes @5YearsLeft I’ve really had to process my upbringing and how my parents failed me in many ways. It’s complex because they are not all bad - I knew I was loved by them, they weren’t withholding of love, in many ways they instilled in me great self belief in my abilities which has served me well. But they are both emotionally immature and financially chaotic and I was conditioned to think screaming arguments were the norm. Ex H and I were also well off so my mum literally could not fathom that I had anything to complain about. Certainly they never never never supported me to leave him, even after they knew how bad it was (e.g. I showed them videos of him in full meltdown, smashing the kitchen up etc … quite a bit worse than sulking).

It was a damaging and formative experience but when I read of some of the women here who are trapped with these men I feel so lucky. Thank God I was so self reliant - I clung on to my career by my fingernails, through little babies with no support. I managed to buy him out of the family home and the kids have been largely sheltered from much of the fall out that might usually follow as a consequence of a split. I’ve found love again at 42 with my high school sweetheart (very long and amazing story - we hadn’t seen each other for 24 years) who utterly adores me and has shown me that I am worthy of love just as I am. (That’s been hard too as I hadn’t acknowledged just how unlovable I felt before). As my therapist said to me “you will have a great second phase of your life”. I feel very very lucky.