3 months post partum & partner not acting right

[Caw2024]

Going to keep it as quick as possible to read (I'm new to mumsnet)

I'm 28 year old female. First time mum to a 3 month old baby girl. My partner is 29.

Whilst pregnant everything was perfect, lovey dovey, we couldn't wait to be parents.

Since having baby my partner stopped hearing her crying at night after about 4 days of being home with her.. all night feeds were left to me (I'd had stitches after birth which got infected twice, it was agony) getting in and out of the bed constantly all night was painful and he still didn't help. (He does work but I still think he should of helped)

He would disappear and say he was going to see a friend for 1 hour and would be gone for 6 hours.

I then had to move into a home for pregnant women/women with kids already as I was homeless.. visitors are allowed to stay until 10pm. He would leave after about spending 2-3 hours here visiting me and the baby. He couldn't wait to get home because he smokes cannabis and obviously couldn't do that here.

He would also pick going to the pub/the bar over staying with me and our daughter since she was 2 weeks old. The one day I was crying because I was really upset and needed the help and he still chose to go out and get drunk.

Now the most recent thing he's done to upset me is after me and him had an argument about 2 weeks ago. I told him exactly how I felt about the whole situation, might of cussed him out a bit he then went out with his friend and his friends girlfriend and told the friends girlfriend to bring her friend out (another female) he claims he hasn't cheated or nothing happened but I'm devastated. I don't knownif I believe him or if I could ever forgive him. After the past few weeks of him doing absolutley nothing to help me and now this I really don't know if I should be with this man child

What do you guys think would you stay or would you go.. am I over reacting

Hold your head high, delete block and let him do any work and all the running towards seeing his child.
it’ll be the best decision you ever make

Go. Sadly neither, you nor, your child are a priority. The reality of parenthood has hit and he doesn’t like it. So sorry.

People seem completely unaware that men also suffer post natal depression and don't always adjust to becoming a new parent.

Massively under reacting.

I would not stay with him.

I'd already have booted him, he's bringing nothing to your life. Cut him loose and focus on you and your baby, and congratulations!

Chuck him out. Doesn’t sound like he brings anything positive to your life.

What’s your housing situation now? Are you getting support from the health visitor etc to find a permanent place to live?

I'm sorry but after 9 months pregnancy and the pain of giving birth a man should be making sure his woman is ok

Aye, and post-natal depression turns them into potheads and alcoholics.
DFO

You seem completely unaware what constitutes being an utter useless cunt.

Oh really?

Health visitor and staff at this homeless place are amazing and such a massive support. I just have to live here until a home available comes up really

Oh love, you sound a lovely mum. Cut this loser free. Let him live his single man life and you concentrate on you and baby. Dont let him back in your life.

he smokes weed
chooses drugs and nights out with friends over you and his child

he needs to grow up

wishing you all the luck x

you're as much of an AI as the OP.

But just in case: go away and boil your head. He's a dopehead. OP (if she is a person) needs to block and move on. if OP is an AI they should know the difference between "should have" and "should of"

Why are you and the baby homeless but he has a home?

A man like that is completely worthless and not worth the space he stands up in. Delete him, and build your life with your beautiful DD.

You and she will have a much happier life. Congratulations and Good luck xx

A man like this won't ever change, it's not in him. Getting rid of this guy will be one of the best things you ever do for yourself and your kids.

He still lives at home with his mother thats why lol. I think before this falling out we have had he thought he would be moving in with me when I get housed, I can't see that happening now mind

He lives with his mother but thinks he will be living with me once I get housed

Absolutely do not let him move it or it will be a bloody nightmare to get him out.

do you have support around you? Friends/family?

I do have support off the staff in this home, and my mum mainly x

Hope you get housed soon OP, and meanwhile enjoy the support you are getting. When you get a place of your own it will be YOUR home, not his. Throw this one back. Block, delete, have nothing more to do with. Put it down to experience, and move on with your lovely baby, and have a nice life without this loser. You don't need a selfish, immature, feckless pothead in your life, and neither does your DD. Being 29, a loser and living with his mother never sounded like a good deal, did it?
If and when you get into another relationship, set your standards higher (much higher) and make sure you know what he is really like before committing and/or having baby.

@Brefugee if you take the tin foil hat off you'll be able to read better.

A decent Man would but you've not got one.

He sounds useless OP.