Therapy dog

[Itradehorses]

I'm not an animal person. Not at all. I have always thought that I have enough caring obligations without taking on a dog. Has been a red line for me as I would have to train, walk and feed it (trust me that's how it would pan out). Also not keen on Vets bills or the cost of insurance. However, OH secretly entered a free ballot for a fully trained therapy dog from a charity. Didn't expect to win as the odds were poor. Guess what happened next...

OH has now told me about it. We would get a free fully trained pedigree dog for our son with autism and adhd, to help him regulate. It would obviously be with us into adulthood for him, for however long they life (15 years???).

WWYD?

@Itradehorses
My little girl also got picked out the ballot for an autism assistance dog - over a year ago! After a six month process of assessments, visits and checks we were added to the waitlist and still probably have another six months to go before we receive the dog. So you've probably got a long time to get used to the idea!
My little girl is six, adhd and asd and needs this dog so much

Please consider the downsides to owning a dog:

It’s not only food, insurance and vets. It’s like having a toddler in the house again, but they don’t grow up.

Cost of going on holiday. Dog care costs us around £50 per night. London, in home care prices.

Cost to you for lost of freedom. You can’t just go out for the day without planning it in advance. And you have to find a trusted source for the doggy day care.

Cost to you of having to leave the house every day for a good walk. Bored dogs are not happy dogs. You have to walk them and entertain them - if you don’t have 2 spare hours a day where you are desperate for something to do - don’t get a dog.

Cost of extra cleaning - they do get your house dirty!

Cost of grooming - depending on the dog type, grooming is surprisingly expensive and regular

Many years ago we 'had' to get a dog due to break ins while we were doing work on the house.
I had always been scared of dogs
I didn't want to be the one doing all the walking and picking up after her.
DH did excellent research and found the perfect breed for us. Then the breeder was found.
She came to us as a puppy.
DH was working away and DC were teens
I took her to training and learned how to be a dog owner
It was hard, house training and all that. I'm hoping your would come fully trained?
And then I lost my fear and dislike of dogs and fell totally, totally in love.
And yes, I did do most of the walking and picking up (it's not that bad, honestly), but she became MY dog.
I've seen some stuff on TV about dogs for DCs with autism - these dogs are amazing. Is it not worth giving your DC a chance to be happier, calmer, and therefore learn better? And you might love doggo more than you could possibly imagine right now.

A PP mentioned costs.
At risk of sounding like a mastercard commercial - but the benefits - priceless.

Being a responsible pet owner is a huge responsibility. As @GFBurger highlights its not just food/vet/insurance costs. You have to factor in your pet for then next 10-15years. If you want to go on holiday then you need to organise and pay for kennels or a house sitter. If you want to take a day trip, or you work full time, who's going to take the dog out for a walk or let it out for a wee whilst you are out? Depending upon the breed of dog, they may need to walk miles to burn off their energy, especially as a puppy. Do you have time to do this twice a day, in all weathers, no matter what is happening that day?
Training can take months and whilst they're training its like having a toddler around. They get into everything, don't listen, you need eyes in the back of your head.
I understand that your DH might really want a dog, but more often than not, they won't manage the day to day responsibilities (once the novelty has worn off.) So do you have time to do so and the mental capacity to plan for another 'body' in your home? If your time is already limited, then please don't agree to the dog. I'm sure your husband will be disappointed, but it would be worse to take the dog in and then realize you can't give him/her the time they need and then need to rehome him/her.

UPDATE: we had our first meeting today with the charity. They have scheduled a home visit with a dog in May. After that OH has training over two days. You then go on a waiting list and are assigned a dog (that could take a year or more) when there is a match. Probs a Labrador. Then there is a two week intensive course for OH as the main handler. Because it's a working dog, you don't co parent it for want of a better word. You also have to ensure the primary bond stays with the autistic child and not any other children in the house (which could be challenging). I'd be allowed to take it for walks. You're not allowed to leave it alone for more than four hours a day though, so you need flexible work (which we have).

How are you feeling about it all now?

I think we'll see it through. There isn't as much risk of me becoming the de facto main carer because of the rules around having a main handler. The training is in ongoing commitment while it's a working dog "in jacket" but that has to be the main handler (so it isn't one of those situations where the responsibilities can blur, like with a pet).

Given the time it takes, I've plenty of time to adjust.

You've not I've!

OP are you with Support Dogs? We've been all through the assessment process now and just waiting for the dog 😀 We've been waiting six months the so far, and about a year since being picked out of the ballot

Don't want to name the charity to keep it private, but have told the kids about the home visit. They are excited, especially son with autism.

Looking at it objectively, I'd like to think I'd embrace anything that would improve my child's interaction in the world.

Can you set expectations with your husband and children in regards to the dogs ongoing care (feeding, exercising and clean up)?

Also, look into costs in regards to pet insurance etc.

Good luck with your decision.

Have a suuuuper clear convo about roles and obligations with your kids and DH if you don't want to be burdened. If they agree to do it all, most of it, then I would go for it and don't think you will EVER regret it. From the start let them take care of it. I think its an incredible offer.

Fabulous :)

We're so excited to have ours. This process is so long, and we're ready. Really hopeful this will change my daughter's life.