Partner has a "conquests" list

[MrsJim]

Please bear with this as it's quite long, and I don't know how I feel about it.
So DP and I have been together for 6 years, both have children from previous but none together. We work for the same company, him in the office and I WFH. Let's call him John.
Last week our computer systems were updated and I had to take the laptop in so it could be connected to the cloud (I don't really know what that means or entails but I just know I can still get onto work stuff from home).
When I got home, I could see the files on the system were updating but there was a list of documents that had already gone over on the file explorer tab.
One of these files was simply titled "conquests".
We all know what that means, but why we would have a word document titled that was beyond me. So I opened it.
The title of the first page was "John's Conquests".
It was at this point I realised my partner had got a word document on the work system documenting every single woman he had ever had even the slightest moment with. Numbered in chronological order, names and a brief description of the relationship or encounter all there to see.
Luckily for me, it seems the last entry was 10 years ago, I don't really want to know what write up I'd get!

So now I'm confused and don't know what to think. I feel disgusted that someone would even consider writing a sexual summary, let alone someone I share my life with. But at the same time, it was last updated a long time ago.
He doesn't know I've seen this but it's been playing on my mind and just need to know if I'm going mad or it's a genuinely bad thing.

[Bananabreadandstrawberries]

He is disgusting.

Luckily you aren’t married and done have children with him. Should make kicking him out nice and easy!

[Plate24]

If he’s otherwise respectful in talking about women and relationships I’d forget you’d ever seen it. It’s slightly tasteless but I think most people have either written, thought or spoken with a close friend in a way they wouldn’t want to be made public. And it’s from years before you were even together, let it vanish back into the past.

[Plate24]

Oh unless I misunderstood and the document was actually created recently?

[MrsJim]

37.....

I don't know how to find out when the document was created but I assume not recently as the last person on there was his ex (10 years ago)

[WeeOrcadian]

Well that's just made MY vagina shrivel up

That's hideous OP

[Opentooffers]

It's stupid, but it's 10 years old. I'd be intrigued as to how many and what he said about them and how he said it.
Depends if he comes across as a sleaze in general life or not now. People can do dumb things in their youth, and writing it down to risk someone reading it, is well dumb. Not sure I'd be too phased by it given it was well before you. I would use the info to take the piss out of him till the end of time though. I'm sure there's plenty of ammo in it to embarrass him, and he kinda deserves it.

[DaisyChain505]

Have a calm and honest conversation and let him know what you saw and that you want to talk to him about it to understand it more.

It sounds childish and gross but knowing it was written over 10 years ago is a positive. People do stupid shit when they’re younger and hopefully he’s grown and changed since then.

[Bananabreadandstrawberries]

37 is not young enough to be stupid.
17, maybe.

37 and having a list labelled conquests is disgusting. Take a photo for ammo up your sleeve.

[solice84]

Eugh I was hoping you were gonna say he was 18 or something
Yeah 37 , that's grim , think that would give me 'the ick '

[Seaoftroubles]

That's pretty nasty. So is he was 37 when he wrote it? Old enought to know better!

[Cbljgdpk]

It’s an ick but this is what happens when you read private things. I’d think carefully about what you’d get from bringing it up; potentially him just embarrassed and defensive and I’m not sure where that would get you.

[DinaofCloud9]

His list is on your laptop?

Why would he write this list on a work laptop. So weird.

[WhisperGold]

Have I understood. Doc is 10 years old? Or created last week?

[ringoffiire]

@MrsJim

37.....

I don't know how to find out when the document was created but I assume not recently as the last person on there was his ex (10 years ago)

As in he's 37 now and the last entry was 10 years ago (when he was 27?)

Or do you mean he's 47 now and the last entry was when he was 37?

If he was in his 20s when he was doing this then it's not great, but, you know, I can see a young person doing this, and I doubt he thought anyone would ever see it.

But it he was late 30's and attached with kids by that point, it's pretty gross.

[MrsJim]

@WhisperGold

Have I understood. Doc is 10 years old? Or created last week?

As in the document is (assuming) 10 years old and he is 47 now.

It was saved onto the work system that got updated last week and lots of documents send to the cloud (?!)
When I was working at home, I could see files I had never seen before from lots of different folders. It was when I saw the word "conquests" I was intrigued and then disgusted.

Again, I still don't know how to feel, the context in which the "summaries" are written were eg name, where he met them, how he felt about the situation/relationship and whether or not they were any good in bed. And the occasional adage of if their boobs were nice.

Hence I'm glad I can't see any write up about me

[BirthdayRainbow]

I get that you're happy he's not written about you but you shouldn't be with him if you feel he might have been disparaging.

[Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours]

Fucking gross. I couldn't even look at him again.

If its on a work device, won't his company have access to it??

[Deargodletitgo]

Oh please, you see this sort of thing in books and films about dating women all the time.

I used to keep a running list of people I'd um... conquered...but then got confused when it got into the high 20s🤣

Give the guy a break

[Tadpole10]

If he was 31 now and 21 when he'd done it it would possibly be forgivable.

[Hillrunning]

I still can't understand how you could see this document. If he created it, either on a work laptop or desktop, it shouldn't have been appearing on yours, even thoes saved on the cloud. Unless he has been monumentally stupid and shared it in a location that is available for the entire company to view.

The last entry being about some 10 years ago does not mean that the document was created 10 years ago. If it is a word document, it will be very easy to see when it was last edited

[TedWilson]

Erm so does that mean the entire company can now see his conquest list if it's on the cloud??? I'd be more worried about that!

[Cockapoopoopoo]

Do you a shared a work laptop? I don't understand this bit tbh. I don't think it's that big a deal tbh, it's a bit sad and nerdy like a teenage girl writing about crushes in a diary