Husband continually needing waking up for dinner AIBU?

[Han1978]

Ok so this sounds ridiculous but it’s really starting to get on my nerves.
H has to have a sleep before dinner (for context he’s autistic so does get tired) I ask him to be down at 6.30. He constantly doesn’t come down - I’m calling up the stairs to him -‘dinner, dinner!’ Trying to wake him up!!
I feel like a servant and he just dismisses me if I get upset like it’s not a problem.
ive told him tonight to make his own dinner, I’m sick of it.
its so rude, cooking him dinner and he just stays fast asleep!!

AIBU??

He can take his smartphone with him and set two alarms. One 15-20mins earlier and one 5mins before he needs to get up and go eat the dinner you've cooked. After that it's up to him, especially if you're the one cooking all the time. 🌹

I was also going to ask about sleep apnoea symptoms as this sounds very much like my brother before he was diagnosed, but i see your DH is already on CPAP. However, that doesn't necessarily mean it's adequately controlled so I think I'd be encouraging him to speak to his doctor to at least rule out problems in that area.

If my child didn't wake up for dinner I would leave them to sleep and get on with my evening. This sounds more like a parent child relationship so I would treat it as such.

And make a plan to leave for my own happiness.

Have dinner later
6 30 is early
Have yourself a snack and dinner at 8 pm

He's not doing it deliberately, then - he's exhausted and gone straight into deep sleep, rather than a light nap (as even the best CPAP in the world isn't comfortable enough to guarantee good sleep overnight, just enough to stop people falling asleep standing up or when driving a ton of steel around/dropping dead in their 50s).

No point being angry and taking it as an insult to you and your cooking when he's so deep asleep, the roof could blow off or the house burn down and he'd still not be able to wake up.

Has this just started or has it always been like this? My partner started doing this over Xmas. I was livid, calling him lazy etc. Turned out he was seriously poorly.. the sleeping was part of it. I felt awful afterwards but it got sorted and he’s on the road to recovery now thankfully.

Can he cook? If he can’t here is a new thing for him to get involved with.

My husbands autistic too, I have ADHD.
I understand where your coming from, I have to wake mine every day for work 3 alarms ( he never hears this )
Then wake him for dinner too, I'm sure ur partner cannot help this, my husband has real problems waking up an falling asleep at night.
I do not have these issues myself so I can help.
Don't get me wrong after 21 years, it would be nice to have a lay in- especially on my annual leave.
Even if hubby goes to bed earlier, needs a nap _ think it's from the daily overstimulating that is life.
Hope it helps u to know ur not the only one

Diabetes type 2 maybe? I did similar for no good reason.

Why isn't he cooking half the dinners?

OP I’m struggling to see why you walking upstairs to wake your DH is a problem. I often do this at the weekend when my DH has an afternoon nap.

People sleep because they need rest and respite, not because they want to disrespect their partners.

You’ve built this up into way more than it is.

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