Husband Chated Again.. S hould I Stay?

[How2003]

First time posting, ill try keep it short!

So in 2021 we had finished 4 years of IVF with no sucess, I then find out he is having an affair? (texting and meeting another woman) we got back together and I got pregant naturally! Fast forward to June 2023, we got married, I then dicovered a secrete tik tock account he used to search for the woman from 2021 and various other women and vidoes. From November he had been speaking to and meeting with my friend who is also married, buying her gifts and offering to take her out for lunch with her child. He has said it was just friendly but I did find a naked sunbed photo of her on his phone. He has apologised for runing everything, for not making me a priority and swears he will never do anything to hurt me again if I give him a chance, he has been going to councelling and I have been attending marriage councelling with him also.... my question is, what would you do? Would you stay or leave?

Leave, he’s a liar who will cheat again.

I do know it sounds glib, but it's an obvious enough answer.

As long as you're happy to put up with more of the same for the rest of your marriage, then yes stay. I suppose some people change, but most don't.

Me, I wouldn't have taken him back the first time.

Are you serious? I’m sorry you’re going through this but if you stay and he does it again you’ve done it to yourself.

There is no way I would waste anymore of my life with him. NO WAY.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

This ^

Sorry he is a cheat and a lier and will cheat and lie all day long.

Sorry love no. Big fat Leave. Your first mistake was getting back with him the the first time, he thinks he can get away with it now.

Unless ofc you want to be one of those miserable wives in a long term relationship tolerating the old cheating DH? You don't have to live like that you know, life is short.

Absolutely leave. This is who he is and who he will always be, a liar and a cheat.

Every time you fuss and fight but don’t leave you are letting him Know its ok to do it again.

so either stay and don’t mind him cheating. Or mind and leave.

all the fake hullabaloo to do nothing is a waste of everyone’s energy.

a naked photo of your friend and youre still with him? he probably thinks you don’t mind at all.

He has cheated twice, so he clearly didn’t feel bad after the first time yet done again so soon… better to end the marriage now unless you want to live your life in misery waiting for it to happen again. Sorry this has happened to you it’s horrible.

As I typed it out I realised how stupid I sound putting up with it, im just finding it so hard actually leaving after been with him almost 15 years! Thanks ladies!

Also your "friend" is nothing of the sort. There is no excuse for the naked photo.

This

I wouldn't have stayed the first time. Now he's cheating with your friend? He's an utter scumbag, and so is she.

How much more humiliation do you want to tolerate before you stop wasting time with this prick?

I would have left him after he cheated the first time.

All the meetings with women are meticulously planned to deceive and disrespect you.

He lies, he manipulates, he pissed on his marriage vows and in his eyes you are not the most desirable woman in his life which you should be.

He will do it again and again and each time you will sink lower until you've lost yourself completely.

Honestly, how many times are you going to allow this man to fuck you over and make a fool of you?

He will 100% do it again - you've forgiven him before so he thinks he'll get away with it again.

(And how unlucky he is to get caught out both times huh.......?)

If you do decide to stay with him insist he has a STI test and you accompany him to get the result. Tell the clinic why a test is needed. And if course, get yourself tested too, in case he's passed something on to you.

Kick him out. You deserve better.

I feel that you think that as you have been 15 years together that it can be resolved in some way . You have to ask yourself do you want the next 15 years being in this situation .You cannot trust him he has proved he is not to be trusted.
Move on from him he does not deserve you .It may be painful to begin with but honestly it does get better x

Cheater X2
Liar X2
Why wouldn't he go for #3 after getting away with it the first 2 times?

No!

No no no … and with your friend? He’s just awful 🤬You should tell your friends husband too! I just read this as it’s made me so angry!

Christ alive.

Leave.

I’m actually someone who respects a couples choice to reconcile after infidelity and who has seen people change and grow and be better.

But that is after one affair.

It takes a special kind of cheat to watch the person they’re supposed to love and protect in pain from an affair, struggling with the trauma from their actions and then REPEAT that behaviour because they enjoy what they get out of it!

You are not to blame. You trusted him and believed he could do and be better. He could not. He has shown you that he will always prioritise his needs for ego kibbles and validation over you and his child.

He watched you break and learned nothing. That is not someone who will change.

I’m so sorry you did not deserve this. You did not deserve to be cheated on again. None of this is on your shoulders. I truly think people can change and you gave him that chance, that was noble, empathic and kind. You showed grace.

Now is the time to let him know you deserve better.