Husband Chated Again.. S hould I Stay?

[How2003]

First time posting, ill try keep it short!

So in 2021 we had finished 4 years of IVF with no sucess, I then find out he is having an affair? (texting and meeting another woman) we got back together and I got pregant naturally! Fast forward to June 2023, we got married, I then dicovered a secrete tik tock account he used to search for the woman from 2021 and various other women and vidoes. From November he had been speaking to and meeting with my friend who is also married, buying her gifts and offering to take her out for lunch with her child. He has said it was just friendly but I did find a naked sunbed photo of her on his phone. He has apologised for runing everything, for not making me a priority and swears he will never do anything to hurt me again if I give him a chance, he has been going to councelling and I have been attending marriage councelling with him also.... my question is, what would you do? Would you stay or leave?

It will keep happening. He picked your friend FFS. He has no respect for you or intention of being faithful. Please get out before this destroys you. What has she got to say about this, incidentally? I'd be letting her husband know too.

Thank goodness you've seen sense and left. He sounds a nightmare, a serial liar and cheat. I'd block him on everything and just communicate via email re your child. I would disown your so called friend too, if you haven't already.

Leave it will only happen again

I was suspicious about my 'friend' and H, i asked them both out right and of course they denied it, her husband then came to me and asked if i though anything was going on, we worked together and 'caught' them out so to speak, they are sticking to the it was friendly spiel, I have also sent him a message regarding the photo etc.. neither of them will tell the whole truth but it clearly wasnt friendly! Denfinatly no longer my friend! Painful at the moment as she also lives next door but one!

My 1st husband was like this. I gave him so many chances, and he never ever changed. I left him after 4 years of finding out about the first offence. He could not believe it and begged me to stay, but I'd had enough by then. We had been together for 20 years, with 2 kids.

I quite quickly met my now DH, and we have been together for 16 years, and NOT ONCE has he pulled any shit like this.

My ExH, on the other hand, has cheated on every partner he's had after me. He's now 57 and still doing it, I believe.

So for me, it's a very easy NO.

You are his wife, the mother of his children, and he STILL doesn't respect you (like mine didn't). There's literally nothing more you can give him of yourself, that will change his approach to your marriage. It's not enough for him. He is always looking for "more". This is who he is. If you stay, this will be your life forever. No one deserves this level of disrespect. And fwiw, it's nothing you've done wrong - I was a fantastic wife, but these men always need a few women on the go, for ego boosts.

Start looking at the money situation. Remember you are due half his pension.

Oh and btw, mine also shagged my best friend. In the bin she went. The thought of my ExH now makes my skin crawl, and I thank every day for my lovely DH who doesn't behave like this. Please don't go back for more crap.

This is the rest of your life if you put up with it, OP, so I hope you can get used to it if you are prepared to put up with his cheating. He won't change because he has no respect for you. Get yourself checked out, you don't know the full story of what he's been doing, either, and he sure as hell won't admit to it.

Good for you ! and I am so pleased to read that you have a ds after a successful pregnancy.

Don't take him back, he'll do it again

The only way for you know is onwards and upwards ! You have so done the right thing .Wishing you the best x

Op - I’ve commented on your other thread too.

As others have said it’s doubtful these are his only affairs in 15 years- they’re just the ones you’ve discovered.

Its also highly unlikely it’s just meeting up and texting or whatever bs he’s told you. They’ll only admit to what they absolutely have to.

Stop letting him gaslight you. He’s a lying, cheating arse. And the counselling/MH shit is just manipulation to get you to agree to what he wants ie: a nice comfy home life whilst he has his fun on the side.