Are There Any Normal Men on Online Dating Sites

[JL690]

I've decided that I finally need to move on fully from my ex, who is the father of my little one and basically my FWB since I divorced him. I know, why did I do that etc? I signed up for an online dating site but it seems just about all the men on it are action men, climbing mountains, running marathons, gym addicts, bikers, which is definitely not me. Are there any sites that are not full of action men?

Yikes @Meadowfinch he sounds nasty, well done for getting out of there.

I had one bloke started making jokes about being a serial killer. I exited pretty quickly.

I am 42 and have previously had about half a dozen or so dates.

A couple were fine, seemed nice enough but there was just zero spark. (Awkwardly it seemed I was the only one who felt that as they were still keen!)

One was clearly on the lookout for a new stepmum for his kids, and once I said I didn't have any immediately switched off and started looking at his watch.

One had clearly bent the truth on his profile a bit. Eg. we had been chatting for 2 weeks online before we met and he never once mentioned that he had a kid!

One got pissy at me when I wouldn't let him come over to my house at 10pm on a Thursday (we hadn't met, so clearly a booty call) so I had to block him.

Then I met DP and he is absolutely wonderful and we have been together for coming up to a year.

I had one turn up to an afternoon date in a cafe/bar wearing a suit and tie complete with pocket handkerchief plus blue mirror sunglasses like the ones the looky looky man sells for €5 on the beach. He made a comment about me drinking and driving because I had 1 wine and soda, nursed one Diet Coke for over an hour then when the barman came over with the hill and card machine he sat with his hands in his pockets while I paid - he didn’t offer a penny. Then had the front to ask if I wanted to go for an Indian - errr no! And lasted texted asking if he’d what I’m looking for - again errr no

Oh and definitely be prepared for them to be 5 years older and 3/4 inches shorter than their profile claims.

I only met two as all the others were creeps and weirdos, when I did OLD. To be fair they looked like their pictures although about 6 months later I found one on OLD under a different name and age so he obviously wasn't honest.

The other one hung around for a bit, was a nice guy, told the truth about himself (I could find him online as he played sport and always sent me snippets of match analysis), I know he told the truth about what he does for a living as we work for the same company. He wasn't meant to be mine sadly.

After him I gave up, last time I tried I was asked if I was actually a women (I hadn't replied straight away).

The dating pool is like a shallow puddle past age 35. I think I have met a grand total of three normal single men from OLD but they were either commitmentphobes or were already dating someone else so weren't fit for a relationship.

Trust me there were loads but after years of getting no response we gave up.

No.

Ah yes. The Neck-less. 😂

Of course there are. Do you think OLD is full of normal woman and freaky men?

I met my husband on OLD. Just under half of my friends did the same. Might depend what age you are. I imagine if you're in your late 30s you're starting to push your luck. You'll be seeing a lot of divorced men in their 40s upwards. And statistically, men the same age as the women looking, are themselves looking for and will end up with younger women.

I doubt many of them are as active as their profile pics show. They just think that women are all.looking for ultra fit action men. When they find out you just want a normal bloke who has time to date, they'll be relieved 😊

Over 50 it’s a wasteland. Honestly the pickings are so slim they’re non existent.

Hand on heart I don’t know anyone who has ever had a good date from OLD. All my mates have given up after a succession of horrendous sex pest men old enough to know better.

We've got a chat group and some of the messages men in their 50’s think it’s acceptable to send 😱

I met my husband on plenty of fish in 2012. He is normal, been together 12 years, married for 6 and have a 5 year old and a 2 day old.

I was just about to deactivate my account when he messaged me and we then started chatting so hold on in there!

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

I had A LOT of fun with a mountain climber.

Did you know they do finger exercises? They actually strengthen their finger muscles.

This girl repeatedly felt the benefit of those exercises!

I found someone great on Tinder a couple of years ago, he was 50, but I was his second date and I snapped him up 🤣

very interesting take, would you please share what do you mean he is not "normal" in classic sense? I am struggling to find a "normal" guy and maybe your experience would help. Thank you.

You’re right - it’d be so much better if they didn’t make any effort to cook and went out on the razz until 3am with a few cheeky lines of coke thrown in.
And I’m sure you’re of a standard that makes calling men out on their looks acceptable… 😆

I met someone a while ago but he was a diamond in the rough! I do think most advice is to show you have hobbies and are active which may be why it seems disproportionate in OLD?
To start with, I seemed to be falling for catfish or flakey blokes. At one point I’d had 8 dates arranged and 0 happened! I swore off cyclists after 3 were knobs who cancelled last minute.
I had date number 1: only stayed 50 minutes stating he wanted to go home and do ‘something productive with his day’ 🤔 wouldn’t have minded so much if he hadn’t said he’d done a 6 mile run, food shop and cleaned that morning!
Date 2: seemed nice enough on the date but got very pervy by text later that day so he got blocked
Date 3: made it to two dates! Really liked him, great chemistry but he still lived in the family home while it was being sold and it was all too much
Date 4: Lovely chap but he sounded like Timmy Mallet and I just couldn’t get past that! 🤣
Date 5: Two dates but he just wasn’t that in to me and I found out he went for a mini break with someone else three days after saying he didn’t see us panning out so clearly I was ‘warming the bench’ with that one!
Date 6: my delightful weirdo 🥰 he may fall into your ‘too active’ category because he has a black belt in a martial art but I do powerlifting myself so I’m okay with that. He’s not ‘normal’ 😂 but I’m neurodivergent myself so we get on well. Been together over a year now.
So yes, there’s nice blokes out there who end up single later in life simply because things don’t work out with other people but there’s also loads of men who are..single got a reason!

deathbyfluffy
It's just the making a big deal of being able to cook like it's a massive flex. Every adult should be able to cook. Also, in my experience, men who go on about how they can't wait to wow you with their cuisine are pretty mediocre cooks at best 🙄

Regarding looks: well, I'm average for a middle aged woman. Which is a long way away from average for a middle aged man. Because women tend to make an actual effort. And believe you me, the majority of these guys do not.

@ForThisPost1 I think most peoples idea of normal is someone who is not crazy, doesnt pretend to be things they are not etc which my partner falls into the category of. However, he is also very quirky and quite old fashioned. He likes to dress in 3 piece suits, loves musicals and old style music and has no interest in drinking or football or any of the activities the guys on OLD seem to do. He's perfect for me but is not everyones cup of tea.

He sounds lovely @summersolstice43 ! Someone like that wouldn't be my cup of tea (and I would probably be far too boring for them) but I really admire people who do what they love and are unashamedly themselves. That's a really appealing quality. Wishing you lots more happiness together 😍

I used dating apps for a few years and from experience most men are far from normal, some are not even single, some lie about their age, some have serious mental health issues and some are just plain boring, but that’s my opinion and i’m far from normal myself. I have made a few friends along the way but haven’t found ‘the one’. I’ve probably been on over 50 dates 😬. It’s great to use as a way of meeting people but I never get my hopes up about meeting anyone special.

You’ve caught me at a bad time (2 dates cancelled by them in a week) but honestly? It’s absolutely dross. I’ve been on it for 8 years and had the following

1. a sex pest who was not 5ft 10, he was actually shorter than me (I’m 5,4)
2. a complete weirdo who reassured me that, even though he’d never been in a relationship before, he had slept with plenty of prostitues so was very experienced 🤢
3. Moaned about money the entire date and told me how “poor women who just want a rich man like me are such a turn off”. Wouldn’t pay for anything.
4. Turned up about 6 stone heavier than his pictures (again, I actually am not fussed with that, but didn’t like the dishonesty of using photos that weren’t reality). Turned out was ‘out of work’ and spent all day gaming, despite telling me he was a teacher.
5. Cancelled when I was 10 mins away
6. Very nice, but exceptionally boring and had nothing to talk about in person. Hope he finds a nice lady though, because he seemed like a decent gentleman.

The rest I’ve matched with haven’t even got that far because they’ve gone straight in with the sex chat/ ghosted me/ cancelled/ had nothing to say. Strangely, all of the above seemed quite normal until I met them.

And my cup of tea would be someone quirky who doesn’t like football or drinking. When I flick through the apps I don’t see many men that fit into that category 😬. I’ve just joined Facebook dating and it’s pretty awful. Maybe they should have an app just for quirky people? 😁

It sounds like OLD is like real life, so many diverse characters. I'll have to give it a proper go and be patient by all accounts, with powerful filters 😁