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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Splitting up over student finance

129 replies

samsonthecat · 03/04/2024 17:57

I’m in bits. Dp of 5 years who lives with me will not allow me to add him to DD student finance application. The rules say I have to give his details as household income. The only way out I can see is that he moves out and we are over.
i am heartbroken and would like a hand hold please.

OP posts:
PeaPalRIDriots · 03/04/2024 19:20

Axx · 03/04/2024 19:03

Unless he moves out what she'd get on just your income is a moot point.

It's a shit system. What's he said when you've told him he's being the opposite of helpful?

This

Yes - what did he say?

Bournetilly · 03/04/2024 19:22

This is really not a reason to split up.

somptuosité · 03/04/2024 19:25

samsonthecat · 03/04/2024 18:49

Hi point is that with just my income she would get more loan. He thinks he is being helpful saying he won’t give his details. What he is really doing is making me choose to either commit fraud or ask him to move out.
she will get slightly more than the minimum with both of our incomes but almost maximum with just my income.

The point is you could just leave it blank and she can get the minimum maintenance loan. It’s a hassle anyway filling in and sending proof much easier leaving it blank and if DD is getting only slightly more with DP’s wages why not leave it blank and DD can get the minimum maintenance loan and you and your exh can make up the rest?

Myopicglass · 03/04/2024 19:28

Does he earn more than he tells you he earns?

PeaPalRIDriots · 03/04/2024 19:30

somptuosité · 03/04/2024 19:25

The point is you could just leave it blank and she can get the minimum maintenance loan. It’s a hassle anyway filling in and sending proof much easier leaving it blank and if DD is getting only slightly more with DP’s wages why not leave it blank and DD can get the minimum maintenance loan and you and your exh can make up the rest?

This is fraud if DP is living there.

HellonHeels · 03/04/2024 19:31

He sounds a bit thick and also inclined to fraud/dishonesty. That's as good a reason as any to split up.

titchy · 03/04/2024 19:32

It's not fraud - it will just be assumed that her household income is too high for anything other than the minimum loan.

It would be fraud if OP said she was the only adult and claimed the extra loan on that basis.

Bibbetybobbity · 03/04/2024 19:34

@PeaPalRIDriots no it’s not.

She’d only be claiming the minimum if she did this, it wouldn’t be fraud. It’s precisely what anyone earning over the threshold does. It doesn’t sound like with the dp’s income it would be much above the minimum anyway, so I would do this.

PeaPalRIDriots · 03/04/2024 19:35

If DP is living there and they don’t declare his income, the form will just be returned for them to complete it.

If they don’t declare he’s living there or don’t declare his income honestly/accurately: this is fraud.

Bibbetybobbity · 03/04/2024 19:35

@PeaPalRIDriots only if they claim above the minimum. That’s the point.

Spirallingdownwards · 03/04/2024 19:35

bows101 · 03/04/2024 18:19

Can you put her fathers income instead?
I know it's not ideal but if a live in partner is simply refusing anything to do with it, then I can't see how you can force them.
He obviously sees himself as a boyfriend instead of wholly part of your and your child's life.

It needs to be the household income for the household that the student is a part of.

somptuosité · 03/04/2024 19:37

PeaPalRIDriots · 03/04/2024 19:30

This is fraud if DP is living there.

No it isn’t leave the finance stuff blank for the household and you are allocated the minimum maintenance loan only. Why are you saying it’s fraud? You only need to declare household income if you want more than the minimum maintenance loan!

OneFrenchEgg · 03/04/2024 19:39

Just done it for ds. it asked if he wanted to apply for a loan based on household income, he selected no, so awarded the minimum loan.

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 03/04/2024 19:39

They will ask for evidence if you being single, namely single person's council tax reduction.

What impact does he think it will have? None on him. He's not agreeing to fund her. It's just stating the household income so she will get less loan.

He's being an arse.

Talkinpeace · 03/04/2024 19:39

Perspective here.

Maximum student maintenance loan is about £50 more than standard annual hall fees.
NO MATTER what you put on the darned form you will be needing to help her out.

Leave it blank if you need. Put him on if he will.
You'll still be sending her money every month.

PeaPalRIDriots · 03/04/2024 19:39

I’m confused because the whole point of the thread is OP DD will get more finance if only declaring OP income.

Indicating that OP wants to claim as much as possible.
Anyway, if I’m just wrong dw, this is for OP not me!

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 03/04/2024 19:41

Notinthemood12 · 03/04/2024 18:07

Just do what’s best financially, how do they know you have a live in partner?

They ask for proof of single status. Even my late husband's death certificate wasn't enough. Because DD had a year off, we didn't get single persons council tax discount. I had to pay for a sworn affidavit to say I was single.

Nicebloomers · 03/04/2024 19:41

It’s a ridiculous system. We are dealing with this in my house too. The idea that I should be financially responsible for my adult stepdaughter when I have 3 kids of my own and she has 2 parents is nuts. It doesn’t help that she’s picked a really stupid degree and has to do a foundation year just adds to the craziness. I digress..

I feel your pain at this situation. The system is not fit for purpose and at the end of the day the maximum loan amounts don’t even cover basic living.

Dearover · 03/04/2024 19:41

Calmly explain to him that you won't be able to declare your household income if he refuses to co-operate, so your DD will be worse off and will only receive the minimum maintenance loan. Surely he realises that you must be honest & can't lie. There are so many misconceptions about SF, so give him the benefit of the doubt at this point that perhaps he simply doesn't understand.

Imustgoforarun · 03/04/2024 19:42

Why does he have to move out?
you don't have to disclose household income. If you don’t student gets the minimum amount. So that would be the case for your child. You and ex H would find difference.

My non live in partner’s income would mean my child getting minimum grant. If my partner moves in with me I can’t see my ex H paying the difference as a result of my partner’s income. It really is wrong that a non blood adult is pulled into this mess.

somptuosité · 03/04/2024 19:45

PeaPalRIDriots · 03/04/2024 19:39

I’m confused because the whole point of the thread is OP DD will get more finance if only declaring OP income.

Indicating that OP wants to claim as much as possible.
Anyway, if I’m just wrong dw, this is for OP not me!

All students are entitled to a minimum maintenance loan regardless of household income. No need to declare any household income at all.

OP’s partners and OP’s household income if declared only means OP’s daughter will be entitled to slightly more than the minimum maintenance loan anyway.

If OP leaves household income blank OP avoids all the drama and her DD still gets the minimum maintenance loan she is entitled to.

JosieJones1987 · 03/04/2024 19:47

JulesJules · 03/04/2024 18:39

The loan amount is definitely calculated on current household income not the absent parent's income. Unless your DC just applies for the minimum loan your DP will have to supply SFE with income details (P60). If your DC has the minimum loan (£4.6k) you would have to make it up to the maximum, £10.2k.

You don't have to top it up to a certain amount, just give whatever you can

TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow · 03/04/2024 19:55

I've never had to prove I'm single

BrandiHeeler · 03/04/2024 20:17

Why do people keep saying this makes him/pp ‘financially responsible’? It doesn’t you just need to put the household income if you are claiming above minimum. You’re not a guarantor!

QuillBill · 03/04/2024 20:22

BrandiHeeler · 03/04/2024 20:17

Why do people keep saying this makes him/pp ‘financially responsible’? It doesn’t you just need to put the household income if you are claiming above minimum. You’re not a guarantor!

I don't think that's what posters mean when they say 'why should I be financially responsible' etc.

I think they mean why should their income be taken into consideration for the loan.

I don't think anyone is saying that they think that they will have to pay the loan back.