When to buy a house together

[Booksandotherstuff]

I'm 32, DP is 33 . Together around 18months.
Neither have kids, both own our own houses about 40 Minutes apart. I WFH mainly but need to be fairly close to a train station he lives about 20 minutes from work in the opposite direction to my house, so about 1hour from me.
In between us are mainly villages with not alot in them so would need to be fairly close to one town or the other. So one of us would have to compromise on location basically because one town will always be more inconvenient for one than the other

When would you consider purchasing a house. No need to wait for marriage as this isn't something I'm interested in ever, happy to protect our deposits in unequal split legally when buying the house

When do other people think you'd go for it. I'm debating whether to bring up possibly putting the houses on the market in autumn in the hopes of being able to move around spring next year when we would've been together around 2.5 years, is this reasonable?

Obviously I wouldn't force him into anything but would like to have the conversation. I would like to know if people think it's too soon and I am thinking unrealistic timescales

You do realise that marriage gives you certain legal rights which make your life easier. I can't fathom how someone would be willing to buy a house with a man but not marry him, setting yourself up for big issues later on.

In short, if I were you I wouldn't even entertain the idea of buying a house with your partner. You will have to draft up some extremly prescriptive paperwork, and hope it covers all eventualities.

Would you accept a job without signing an emoyment contract?

@Hereyoume I can decide not to marry a man on the basis I own more equity, can legally ring fence this amount when purchasing a house and earn more money. I fail to see what rights I would be given with a marriage. Luckily for me it's not the 1950s and I can work and financially support myself with or without a man

Don't countenance it if you don't have the legal protection of marriage, in the UK anyway.

Why these threads end up down the lines of never move in with a man unless he puts a ring on your finger I'll never know. I understand if you're in secure social housing, will lose benefits and need to move into a house with him and you've got a child or whatever because you need protection if it goes wrong because you're giving up security. This is not the case with me

Do you actually really want to move into together ? My partner and I have our own homes and have no plans to ever co-habit permanently. It's the best of both worlds. No picking up someone else's socks and pants. A safe peaceful sanctuary to always return to.

@Notts276 yes I would like us to live together at some point. When I split up with my ex I thought I was quite happy to live on my own forever but I enjoy my DPs company, he can cook, clean etc himself and I don't think there would be any issues with splitting domestic tasks properly. I wouldn't tolerate an imbalance in housework especially as we both work full time

Is is feasible to rent one property out and live in the other? So if by any chance things don’t work out then you’ve both got your assets remaining
I know a few friends who have met someone later in life and done this rather than sell up.

I wouldn't sell up and buy together straight away. Living with someone is a big adjustment, what happens 6 months in and you discover you can't bear it any more? I'd find a way to live together and keep both your homes for the time being and see how it goes.

It's not just that though. What if something happens to one of you? You would need so much additional paperwork for every eventuality. What if you split up? Why do you have to buy to move in together. Why not rent first?

Cost of rent+ taxes on rental income we'd receive wouldn't be feasible
I guess the risk is always there that you dislike living with them but don't know if you're gonna know that after 2 years or 10 years without doing it

Because we both already own houses, so we'd either both have to sell and then rent or sell and buy, I don't fancy renting
If we split up then one buys out the other and buys another house with the equity they owned

OP, in short, being married gives you way more legal rights than you could ever draw up in a separate contract.

For example, what happens if you break up?

Your deposit money may be legally protected, but what about other assets?

What if YOU ended the relationship but HE didn't want to leave HIS home. What would you do?

What if you broke up and one of you moved out but refused to pay their share of the mortgage?

And if one of you dies or becomes incapacitated? What if one of you refuses to sell if you split up? Who is buying who out in the event of a split? What if one of you loses your job?

People are different, I would find 2.5 years a bit soon, others won’t. I agree with you re marriage which really only benefits the person who has less financially -which is not you!

Of course it’s fine OP. As long as you are both on the same page there’s nothing stopping you both putting your houses on the market now if you want. There’s always a risk with these things but protect your deposit and enjoy living with a (hopefully) wonderful bloke.

Assuming the person wants to move out . . .

We were early 30s, together 18 months. We'd lived together for 6 months already though. Sometimes you just know - now married and with 2 kids.

Are you planning children?

If so, would you be taking the majority of maternity leave?

Would you return to work full time?

Children or no, what happens if you split up and the remaining partner is unable to remortgage for the full amount outstanding?

Why not just match his ability to invest in a house and put equal amounts in? That makes it easier. Then just keep hold of whatever assets you have. I quite agree with you, it looks like you have nothing to gain from marriage seeing as you have more and earn more.
As you WFH mostly, it makes sense for you to move towards his town as long as it has a train station, that seems to fit everyone's needs.
If you wanted total minimum risk, you could consider both renting out your properties for a year or so and have a trial living together period in rented accommodation, then review how its gone and plan to buy together. You never really know someone until you live with them. Would the housework fall to you by default as you WFH? Do you want DC's? Would he pull his weight? You don't know theses answers until you try it, as people can claim and do quite different things.

If one of us dies, their share of equity goes to whoever they choose in their will, probably our parents initially, maybe the other person if we had children together in the future.
If one of us lost our jobs, the other would comfortably afford to pay for the other person, the mortgage would be small or non existent as we have a decent amount of money in the houses we own
Even with divorces if the other person refuses to sell you'd have to go to court to force the sale
I would assume if one person decided to stay and buy the other person out, the person who's town we lived in would choose to remain and the other person move.

Live together for a year first.

I think I'd rather chuck as much equity in as possible so we had no mortgage or a very small one, which would allow us both put a decent amount into savings as we would be basically just paying half the bills each and we would both have a nice safety net that way

I don't think that's too soon, what does he think or have you not yet discussed?

Has anyone on here had a situation where they've both sold their houses and moved in together without renting?
Was thinking this wouldn't be particularly uncommon