When to buy a house together

[Booksandotherstuff]

I'm 32, DP is 33 . Together around 18months.
Neither have kids, both own our own houses about 40 Minutes apart. I WFH mainly but need to be fairly close to a train station he lives about 20 minutes from work in the opposite direction to my house, so about 1hour from me.
In between us are mainly villages with not alot in them so would need to be fairly close to one town or the other. So one of us would have to compromise on location basically because one town will always be more inconvenient for one than the other

When would you consider purchasing a house. No need to wait for marriage as this isn't something I'm interested in ever, happy to protect our deposits in unequal split legally when buying the house

When do other people think you'd go for it. I'm debating whether to bring up possibly putting the houses on the market in autumn in the hopes of being able to move around spring next year when we would've been together around 2.5 years, is this reasonable?

I would never buy a house with someone I only knew a bit over a year, no. I’d live together for at least 2 years first through the honeymoon stage and decide once you’ve made a plan for how you want your joint lives to be in terms of where to live, type of house/lifestyle, financial values, career plans, etc.

Our first nearly ten years together we each kept our own homes. Worked too far apart for any sensible compromised to work for both of us. Visited at the weekends and holidayed together.

Looking back, it was idyllic. No arguments ever, nothing to argue about.

Tbe first year or so after he moved jobs and we moved in together were hellish as we negotiated sharing space.

There is such a be lot to be said for keeping one's own space. Don't give it up lightly.

Not RTFT but I was renting and my partner was in a position to buy. We were together for 13 months before buying a flat together. It was my suggestion for him to put in a clause that protects his deposit as it was only fair that he earned that money, he should get it all back if anything happened. Everything else is to be split 50/50. We've been here for 2.5 years now, have had a daughter together, aren't married and still perfectly happy!

If you're ready to take the step then go for it OP! Doesn't hurt to have the conversation

I would never buy a house with anyone ever unless I'd rented with them first for 1 year minimum but then that's just me. You never know what someone is truly like until you've lived with them!

Not noticed this come up on the thread but don't ring fence the amount you put in - you state your share of the asset. It's quite straightforward for any solicitor to do as tenants in common. This means you get your proportion of the capital gain of the house to your share in the house.

Agree with this. Being the higher earner with more assets is all good right now but there's at least one thread a day posted by a mumsnetter that sleepwalked into a situation whereby they are on mat leave with no access to joint money and/or still being expected to contribute to 50% of the bills.
No one can predict the future but if you see yourself eventually having a family with this guy then it's worth thinking ahead and considering that at some point you may want or need to do things differently.

We spent most of our time together pretty much straight away and he moved in after about 5 months (rented his out, but he had done that previously and was in a good Airbnb location) and we bought together about 9 months later. I would have been reluctant to sell to buy together too soon before living together

Don’t put your houses for sale in the autumn. It’s only the desperado ones that stay on the market over winter.

The selling season is typically early spring to autumn.

Based on that and very importantly getting to know him more, I would start the ball rolling in early spring 2025.

For me it felt right, it was really full on as he had two children who came over all the time when they were teenagers so it wasnt a walk in the park but I wouldnt have had it any other way. But for me it was different as he was living with me in my house. Now he has sold his house we are thinking about what we do next.

We are really happy in my home but its all in my name and we are not married. His money from his house is in his bank account. So we are just considering what the next chapter looks like for us.

I've been together with my partner for 15 years, living together for most of that time. He sold his house 10 years ago, and I sold my flat - we used the money to buy a house together, all in my name. We had Wills leaving everything to each other, then realised that if I died he would be liable for tax on the inherited home.

That's the difference - and why we're having a civil partnership at the end of the month. I would advise getting civilly partnered, not for romantic reasons but for the legal benefits.

We also have lasting powers of attorney, not having those can properly bite you - and being married is NOT enough. Who said romance was dead?

I'd say never until you've rented with someone or lived with them somehow for a year at least. Buying together is huge and you don't truly know someone until you've lived with them.

I wouldn’t buy a house with someone if I hadn’t lived with them for a while beforehand. I rented with DH for 4 years before we got our house, we’d been together for 5 years when we got our house and got married the year after.

I bought with my partner years before we married. He moved into my home first to make sure we enjoyed living together, but we wanted to co-own because that house always remained 'my home' not equally his. We each put the same amount in to the shared place and I never felt that my money was at risk. True that if we had split up and divided the equity I would probably have received less than if I still owned my own home, but getting married doesn't protect you from splitting up. If you want to live with your partner, go for it.