Would this concern you?

[Tippytappy7543]

So DH goes to a gym class 2/3 a week, same instructor, they are around the same age, (45) I've seen photos of the instructor and my DD said she's attractive you'll have to watch her lol!
He came back last week with a birthday card from her stating it was from all of them at the gym, when I read it it's just from her not everyone at all just from her....with love X.
He always manages to get to the class way earlier than necessary as well.
Seems a bit odd she'd go to this trouble or am I overthinking here?

Probably because he knows it looks dodge. But that still doesn't mean there's anything going on. The fact he's brought the card home Probably means nothing has happened but the fact the card exists Probably means they are flirting. Why the hell would your gym instructor give you a card with love, not very professional. If I were you I'd ask more questions, unless of course she gives everyone a card ...

Little unnecessary lies are what create the suspicion. There is something, even if it's just attraction. I'd keep an eye.

Could you pop up just as a class is finishing and see how they are together, don't let them see you

A good idea....really ? She'll looks like a nutjob if she gets spotted

OP uses a different gym so she probably wouldn't be able to get in the gym her husband uses.

I ment as a "let's catch up for coffee" ours has a little cafe

Creeping round the gym to spy is not a great idea! Unless a cunning disguise is involved..?

Ah ok....not sure...might seem a bit odd and he might guess the real reason....

I have no idea if everyone gets one, but I agree it's unprofessional.

I would look a bit odd anyway I haven't a pass to get in

When people become attracted to personal trainers and exercise instructors it's often heightened by the feel-good feelings they get from exercising. They will associate these feel-good feelings with the person running the class and they often won't even know that this is happening.

I disagree. It’s not uncommon for people to give birthday cards or Christmas cards to clients they work with on a one-to-one or close basis. When you’re self-employed, you need to keep your clients sweet. Mine all used to get birthday cards and a little something at Christmas.

He'd get exasperated with me, say "where's this come from" and definitely minimise.
I just said "from everyone, oh really that's nice" this was before I read the contents later, it's only as I've been thinking it over now that it's bothering me. I wasn't quick enough at the time.

She may well have date of birth for all her pupils and buy cards as a friendly gesture.

Edit: She may announce the birthday to the class ,so the congrats comes from everyone.

He could be meeting any OW before his class if he leaves early for it (or at any other time he's out alone). If you don't trust him then that's a problem.

I'm a Fitness professional so have a few things to add here to hopefully ease the OP's concerns.
Gyms always have members dates of birth on the client profile so that will be visible to employees when members check in. Lots of gym software will give an audible alarm indicating a birthday or gym anniversary in the week that it occurs. If it's a class with long time regulars, they all know each others Birthdays. I've got a few classes of long time regulars and we always celebrate their Birthdays.

Many of my regulars turn up very early, some arrive earlier than I do, to claim their spot. Especially if it's a very busy class. People want their regular spots. They turn up early and socialize with the other members if not doing warm ups on the gym floor. But their mat is down in their regular spot regardless of where they are before class. I've taught in multiple countries, multiple gyms for a lot of years and it's the same globally. As the Instructor, you don't have time to socialize beforehand as you're busy doing set up for the class.

Keep your eye on it if you're concerned OP, but I honestly don't think there's anything shady about the Birthday card.

Why? he is not a child

So he has cheated before? Or do you have other issues that mean everything he does you will find a way to turn into something seedy

Thanks, I know it's a small class and he said that she'd shown him photos on her phone of her pets before class.
They have the same opinions on things, like the same music 🤷

She's probably happily partnered up and gives out cards to make clients feel special, so they stick around longer. She's not daft.

No partner

How do you know?

Business gives birthday card to customers shocker!!

I think the main concern is he’s presumably going out of his way to turn up extremely early so he can chat to her. The birthday card part is neither here nor there but I would be concerned at the lie that it was from everyone at the gym… He easily could have binned or hidden the card though so I suppose it’s a good sign he didn’t?

For me it’s the fact he’s turning up ridiculously early and having cosy chats with her. Turning up 10 mins early to a class is quite normal but 25 mins is extreme.

If it was me I'd join the same gym and go to the same class
"Hello I'm the wife and my birthday is the ......" then do the most amazing squats and planks 😂

Or

Have a chat with him about his feelings ask him if he has a crush or " would he if he was single " doesn't have to be heavy don't let it bug you get the issues out in the light

I think it's unlikely she fancies him unless he's super hot, even then I doubt she would act on it, she just appreciates having a regular client that turns up and on time, they chat before class so that makes sense she wants to acknowledge his birthday, maybe he'll do the same to her. In reality he's not going to be the only person there, others arrive early to chat also.

If I asked that he'd deny he found her attractive anyway so there's no point.