DH has been stealing my ADHD meds

[fantom]

Up until this point I have trusted him utterly.
I found my meds and he denied over and over again that he had taken them, that I was mistaken, he didn't know what I was talking about etc etc until he eventually admitted it.

It's the lying that has bothered me. I naively thought that he wasn't really capable of lying. I've never known him to be dishonest. He's said this was the first and only time but of course I don't believe him.

How bad is this?

Can't you work it out from prescriptions?

You’ve not noticed others missing? Seems incredibly doubtful he’s done this to once and got caught, rotten luck.

He's a liar, a slacker and doesn't care that he took your medication.

Your needs will never trump his.

Why be with someone who simply cares more about himself than his wife?

I understand why the lying bothered you more - it’s gaslighting and designed to make you feel like you’re going crazy. That’s pretty insidious behaviour.
A normal person would probably just say “sorry yes, I took a few to see if they helped me”. But he persisted in lying.

If he lies about something like this what else is he lying about?

Some quite hysterical OTT responses here, yes the lying is bad but the offence is pretty minor: he could well have been telling the truth about wanting to try them to see if they'd pep him up a bit.

They're just mild amphetamine after all not heroin.

She needs them, he doesn't.

You must have very low self esteem and Stan assess if you would not care about your husband helping himself to medication he doesn't need but because he's a slacker he thinks it will help him!

Absolutely bizarre and I cant believe he doesn’t have some kind of history of drug abuse.

like…. he wouldn’t be secretly painting your fungal toe medication on his toes or having a cheeky puff on your asthma inhaler would he???

he clearly has a problem and I find it hard to imagine it started with your medication a couple of weeks ago

I was on team LTB but it sounds like you haven’t even noticed any of your meds missing. It would be different if you had to go without but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. Pharmacies won’t fill controlled substances until the previous prescription is almost done so he couldn’t have taken more than one or two without you noticing.

I've just counted and there really are only two missing.

Oh horseshit he only took two…. He’s treating you like an idiot now. He’s either taking them or selling them. Either way, you’re culpable. Every one of those tablets is accounted for. You need to report him to your doctor so that your supply is not threatened.

Sounds like youre lying to yourself now too.

someone without a drug problem doesnt steal drugs and lie about it. He tried to make you think you were crazy.

There are some weird husband threads today - well it's the wives being weird like 'OMG DH did X' and when everyone comes along to say how awful it was a quick back pedal about how it's not so bad and he is a good man

He is an addict. Please stop making excuses for his behavior.

How do you have spare ones? One prescription ends to the day the next begins with it being a CD.

Or has he stolen some from a current prescription meaning you’re going to be without your medication later this month?

I don't have spare. I have enough for the month. He took two, I now have them back.
My concern is not that he is a drug addict, it's that he stole from me and then lied about it.

I listened to a radio phone in on LBC this morning with Matthew Wright. It was about the rise in ADHD diagnosis, apparently there is a culture in USA schools where 15% of students are getting the ADHD diagnosis and medication because it improves performance in some people without ADHD. I only mention this as his explanation is reasonable, he may have just wanted to try them. If he has taken 2 that doesn’t really scream drug addict. BUT the lying is a big problem.

So he hasn’t ’taken ‘ them as in swallowed them. He’s stolen them and lied?
If what he was saying was true about improving his brain seeing what they were like why hasn’t he actually had them ?

So he hasn’t actually taken the meds but he removed from them you and you’ve found out?

What exactly said, was his intention to take the medication? Does he realise the implications of this on you and your condition?

How bad is this?

Well he's a liar, a thief (and a sloppy one to boot), under productive, and sounds a bit dim.

Rather you than me love.

I understand the curiosity with adhd meds because outside of having adhd they do seem to improve focus and productivity in non adhd (a bit like controlled speed) but to steal them and lie about it is unforgivable especially given the recent shortages and inability to get any meds for adhd in the country.

indont think he has a drug problem especially if he hadn’t actually taken them but he has an honesty problem and he was gaslighting you.

you need to have a serious open and honest conversation about this. Men can be moronic entitled idiots and it’s more likely this than an addict situ but only you will know if he’s done other things that might add to his questionable behaviours.

This is all very strange - didn't he think you'd notice when you ran out early? What did he do with them after he took them from you if he didn't actually take them? Why did he lie about taking them?
Do you not think this is the first time he's taken them or the first time he's lied? The problem you have now is that it going to be more difficult to trust him and it's horrible to feel you can't trust your OH.

Is he selling them?

I’d be weirded out by that - my other half would just ask if he could try mine. The lying is really bad but he must have panicked and thought he’d look like an idiot…because who steals their partner’s meds?!

You read all about how college kids, doctors and stockbrokers are mainlining this stuff on the black market to hit deadlines and stay alert but the reality is anyone who doesn’t have ADHD is just gonna sit there and get REALLY into focussing on something completely irrelevant. It’s super ironic that our ADHD meds make NTs exhibit behaviours like unmedicated ADHD. 🤣.

Have a talk with him, @fantom. If you have ADHD, then you’ll likely have a history of making stupid fucking decisions, like the rest of us. Only talking to him and finding out why he couldn’t just ask will help you guys resolve this.

If the lying was out of character then there is something going on with him and drugs and he’s lying to protect that in a cornered rat way. That kind of lying is almost built in to addiction.

He could have just asked for a couple.