Could you forgive being called these names in an argument?

[Baywatch60]

I have currently decided to separate from H
The other night was the third time he stopped low in an argument. In the phone he called me fat, ugly slag and that my vagina stinks. I told him not to return home and he’s stayed away. He’s apologised saying he was just angry but I can’t forgive this time. I am no way fat or ugly so I just can’t believe he said it, again. I feel horrible but am pretending I am fine. Aibu?

In what way did you think you might be mad?

What else has he done during your relationship, that you've thought you might be mad to be appalled by?

No I couldn't forgive someone who called me those names. Argument or not.

On the plus side, I'd feel young again and like I was back in the school playground. I mean, what grown man comes out with that stuff? Apart from one who doesn't know how to articulate what he means in an argument, or one who knows he's losing the battle so resorts to childish, immature name-calling to deflect.

I couldn't stay with anyone who thought it was acceptable to say such things ever.
I'd also be embarrassed to be with someone so coarse and frankly immature.

Imagine introducing someone like him to your friends. God, I'd sooner be single than live with someone so disgusting.

Agree with pp that it's both abusive and weirdly childish. I couldn't get over it- maybe I could forgive but I'd never be able to respect someone like that.

Nope, never.

I think there is a massive difference between angry words being thrown around in an argument such as “you are behaving like an absolute dick” and then derogative, disgusting insults designed to do nothing but insult and hurt / make you feel shit about yourself.

I would instantly end a relationship where the man used words like fat / ugly.

I am divorcing my husband for something he said, once, that was unforgivable so I hear you.

I'd prefer immature not childish, my 11 year old knew not to call anyone fat, ugly or stinky.

Abusive, childish and contemptuous. If you can't imagine ever saying something so insulting to your partner, then you absolutely should not accept them saying it to you.

"I was upset and didn't mean it" is bullshit. They did mean it, they just didn't intend to say it out loud because they know that the consequence is that you would understand the level of contempt they hold for you and that you're worth better. He's worried about the withdrawal of services you provide him, not that he's hurt you.

Absolutely not, there’s no chance I would forgive that level of disrespect and pathetic nastiness.

He’s a disgusting pig and I would have lost all respect for and attraction to him the moment those words left his mouth.

Yes I have.

My husband went through a few months or calling me names (both to my face and when he thought I wasn't listening) about 10 years ago. Like proper nasty stuff.

He wouldn't stop so in the end I found a flat, arranged a viewing and told DH he needed to go to the appointment because I didn't want to live with him any more (I also had his bags packed for when he arrived home from work). I also explained why what he was doing was abusive and wrong and he needed to go and get therapy.

It shit him up, like properly scared him and he got that therapy.

He apologised, spent time making it up to me and has never called me another name.

He's a prize cunt.

No forgiveness.

The only possible response is to tell him to get out of your life. Only a complete scumbag would say such things.

Only men who hate women tell them their private parts stink. It's such a specifically misogynist insult from a man with a deeply rooted disgust and abhorrence for women. You are so well rid of this ....person.

That would be it for me, how can you have any respect for such a nasty piece of work? He certainly doesn't respect you, or even like you. There is absolutely no excuse for speaking to you, or anyone,like that.
I can't see how there's any way back from that, however much he might grovel. It's the fact that the thought even entered his his mind and then came out of his mouth. It's a disgusting insult, designed to hurt, and now you know the what a low level slimeball he is. I don't think I could even look at him again.

Youre not going made at all. It is boundary testing.

Sorry but I would not forgive my partner for them words

I am a man. There is no excuse for him calling you those names. There a no circumstances when that is acceptable behaviour.

Have an argument by all means, but it should be about the thing either of you did, remembering that the person you are is the one the other fell in love with.

^ 👏🏻
Is he 10? I think I’d laugh so hard my vagina would self seal. Along with the door to my house.

There's no going back from that! I wouldn't put up with that and neither should you. I think that you know it too.

No way I could forgive this it's vile.

This. If he thinks your vagina stinks he won't want to go near it again. How can you look at him and love him after that attack on you? Raise your bar. A good man would never stoop to denigrating and trying to humiliate you because he was angry. Bin him off he's no loss.

I would be done with him. There is a level of spite and contempt in that language he chose that is utterly unforgiveable.

It's just so nasty and immature. There really isn't any coming back from that. It demonstrates real hatred for women.

No, absolutely would not forgive. He's nasty, nasty, nasty.

When someone shows you who they are, believe it.

No

Get rid of him