How does your partner suggest a bit of slap and tickle?

[Pinkyshoe]

Just curious.
A few hours earlier we have a discussion where I’m in the wrong. I probably am.
I thought I’d tidy but he asks me to watch the apprentice with him. We’ve are sat on separate sofas, no previous moves to cuddle, compliment etc. the show ends and he suggests to go upstairs as the kids are out.
To me the idea comes out of the blue and I’m not prepared at all. I don’t want to strip off in the cold in an unmade bed. It’s odd but he sort of goes inwards, it’s like I may as well not be there. It’s a bit too much info but afterwards he will just say ‘sorry , I’m rubbish in bed ! ‘ And then starts talking about the kids/ his work.
I’ve lost my saucy mojo, is this what I’m supposed to expect ? what do other partners do? Ideas please!
Also if it’s relevant.. and it’s kind of embarrassing, I’m 60 so things are not as firm as they once were and I’m now a wobbly 14. he’s always been big - rugby in youth- but he’s now got an enormous stomach. It’s actually not comfy to be ..you know.
what do other people do ?!

I don't really know OP, we're quite blunt about it!
Perhaps try sitting next to him to cuddle/get in the mood a little bit?
He will be thinking you're gorgeous <3

I have been known to give him a look and a giggle. He knows what I'm after.

It's not really to do with the way it's suggested at all though, is it?

It's that the sex is unsatisfying, perfunctory & devoid of emotional connection. Who would want that?

I think you need an honest conversation with him.

"I've lost my saucy mojo..."

I love that!

Why sit separately at all, ever? Not a very affectionate way to be generally. Hmm..., I'd of thought a big belly might be easier to handle by being on top more, but then I don't have much experience with big guys.

Sing a song. Pinch. Give "The look". Talk with a deep voice. Talk about the last time you did it. Light up a candle and ask for a massage. Share a chocolate bar ?Your favourite drink ? Staying warm is key and half dressed is always sexy. And googling the right position should help. Also if you are not ready yet. Just state it. There is no need to rush. The older the moon the shinier it gets. But then. You have to tell him what does it for you.

🤮
Did no-one read the OP's post?

Why on earth would she be in any way in the mood for sex with what she describes?

This thread is cringing me inside out.

A look and a giggle? A pinch? Talking in a faux sexy deep voice.

I don't really know what I do tbh but this thread has killed my sex drive already anyway, so it won't matter now 😆

Did I miss the memo ? The question was what other people do ? Do everybody do all the 9 yards every single time they have sex ? Is it about the nine yard ? That is a whole other question. The crux of the matter is people do such silly things as starters that she is not going to get a satisfying answer on here, she has to sit down and have a proper sex talk with her husband. In other words.

You are completely devoid of human understanding as a human, or a bot. Do we get removed for bot hunting?

Please get on with it. That would be a very interesting social experiment.

We generally just ask / tell each other!
text message to ask if ‘you’re up to it’
ask him if he’s horny
We are quite touch feely anyway so that helps

older teenage kids so does tend to be late at night when they’re in bed

We have seperate chairs, always have. When one of us sits on the sofa it's usually a sign we'd like the other to join us. Bit of cuddling and kissing can warm things up. If I'm up for a bit fun then I've a couple of nighties that aren't much use for sleeping in which let's him know the mood I'm in.

We just tell each other exactly what it is we want to do to each other! Whether that be in person, on the phone or via text! I'm not sure how your partners are supposed to know what you're after by using code! Just speak to him OP if you're unhappy but the idea of mid day sex whether the bed is made or not sounds fantastic to me so if it's not to you then the only way to get what you want is to speak about it, properly, not with a song or a pinch or a wink!

Me too. Never heard of sharing a chocolate bar as foreplay before. 🤯

the idea of mid day sex whether the bed is made or not sounds fantastic to me

The best, take as long as you want and you're not as tired as late at night. However these days afternoon bed is likely to be a nap, especially if the grandchildren are here, nothing like a nanna nap for them.

Hahaha we say cha cha cha 😂

Comes from our son's bear in the big blue house interactive bear..... some 22 years ago and it's just stuck.

I think you need to help your husband walk that stomach off... I've no doubt he'll think your 🔥 🔥🔥🔥..... but if that belly gives you the ICK..... he needs to get rid of it x

These days we aren't very spontaneous as DH works away in the week, so it tends to be a regular Saturday night shag, once the teens are settled (so often past midnight) and we both know it's on on the cards.
Otherwise one of us usually just asks outright.
We used to both have a Wednesday off and that was great as we'd have the house to ourselves and no one was tired! But again, that was pretty much scheduled.

I've only been in my first sexual relationship for just shy of 7 months, and i almost laughed out loud when i was almost asleep one night and a little voice asked me "Babe?" "Yes?" "Any chance of funsies?"

We both live with parents and i visit and stay over one night a week, so we basically both know it's going to happen, once its about midnight and his mum has gone to bed. Whilst listening out for the insomniac step dad coming up the stairs to the loo.
Counting down the days til he gets his own place, hopefully in the summer, looking forward to something a bit less scheduled and discreet!

DH normally asks if I fancy a bit or if he's being funny, thrusts his crotch into my face. We always laugh when he does that. Before anyone starts with it's disgusting or abusive, it's not, we always have been quite an "earthy" couple.

You need to want the sex your having. I can see why you’re not wanting to rip his clothes off If the apologetic offer is what you’re getting.

You also need to tell him you’re not a rustler and can’t go from 0 to tasty in 60 seconds.

if you’re both in your 60s do you own any sex toys you can use together if not buy one you’ve got nothing to loose. Adopt a she comes first mentality. Hopefully he’ll come along 😉

Me too 😵‍💫 'a look and a giggle'

DP asks if I want to go up for a cuddle, and I reply Always. Sometimes it ends up just naked cuddling and falling asleep, and we both love that too. DP is nearly seventy but lean from outside jobs all his life, and I’m wobbly and stretch-markey and don’t shave my legs in winter…he thinks I’m beautiful and makes me feel it every day in and out of bed.

It sounds like you maybe need to have some frank discussions about intimacy? And maybe being more tactile? You can accidentally get in to ruts in relationships but you can also get out of them.

Fucking hell did you just lift that from a 1998 copy of Cosmopolitan?

Some strange replies on here.Op I took from your post that you don't feel physically comfortable having sex with him due to his belly and that sex isn't enjoyable for you as there is no lead up and he makes no effort to be good in bed.Without talking to him and being honest about what you need no amount of chocolate bar sharing (wtf?) or signalling is going to happen from your end and I don't blame you.