We have some friends that we regularly meet up with 6/7 times per year. His wife is lovely and her husband is too..except when he has had a lot to drink. My wife says he just very friendly and what he does is just banter and I over react. But I feel he oversteps the mark and he makes me feel uncomfortable each time. But it seems now to be getting a little worse each time.
This week we attended a funeral and went to the wake where there some.drinking after..I was there with my wife and not drinking. His fiancee was very busy with the people so we were left more with him chatting. He was his usually multiple huggy self but nothing I was concerned with at that point. He always focuses his chat towards my wife rather than engage both as a couple.
I left to get the car and move onto the wake house. His fiancee went in another car and he came out with my wife and 3 other from the wake going back. We didn't really know these other so realtive strangers. He always seems to manage to be in a position where he is near my wife but this could be me of course. There was too many for the run, 5 but instead of my wife going in the front of her own car. He manoeverd his brother in law to the front(who was going to walk the short journey) and sat in the back saying to my wife she could sit on his knee. She didn't but thankfully but squeezing in on the end of the seat but they were all squashed together her sort of tilting into him sort of side on.
As we drove on he announced to me and the 3 strangers. That he could feel all my wife's bumps and he was really enjoying it. I was dumbstruck and the joke as my wife calls it was met with complete silence In the car.
We went into the house and I didn't want to say anything or cause a fuss at wake house. We stayed for maybe another hour. Where he kept coming up putting his arm around my wife and hugging etc saying how lovely she was. His fiancee was off again so not around as normal (to keep him in check). He did this again only this time telling me I was punching above my weight. Done in a jokey way but I felt less jokey and more of a dominance show. He the. Turned around to fa e her front showing his back to me and was almost in a kissing position where he proceeded to whisper into her ear. I thought this all very strange but could not cause a fuss at such a sensitive place.
He did this a final time again up close and personal. I don't know what he said in her ear..but my wife was slightly taken a back. Before saying "you wish." We announced we were leaving to collect our kids.
I was quiet on the way back and as this normally would result in argument I said nothing. But as time passed I began to get more upset l over..so I raised it with her and said I wasn't happy about all that gone on with him and asked what he whispered to her. She said that he had just whispered a joke that she couldn't remember now. It was nothing hardly worth remembering. It made no sense to me that a. She couldn't remember and it could have been a few words which would have been difficult as a joke. Maybe insulting but that would invoke the surprised and 'you wish" response.
I really wasn't bothered and held my wife at no fault at all, I just felt he was taking advantage of my wife's good nature and wanted to know what was said. By the reaction and words I was already guessing exactly what he said..If she just told me we could have just moved on..
I now started to get concerned and pressed more, I felt her diversion, gulps and lack of eye contact were seemingly untruthful. I may went to far and said I felt she was lying to me that she did know because she could recall everything from the evening except this specific bit. She just kept brushing off as a joke she couldn't remember or why she had said that to him.
Cut to now. We are really arguing, she is telling me I am totally blowing this out of proportion it was all just banter and screaming at me to drop it. Now she denies even saying you wish and being shocked at all, despite admitting prior she had said it to the joke he had whispered.
This has gone from her being totally not to blame for anything to now having major concerns by me why she may or may not be lying to me.
She is telling me just drop it. But there is this nagging instinct as I had witnessed first hand it all was not right.
We are going away with them in Easter and I don't want to go..she is now saying I am being ridiculous. Am I..I am at a loss what to do!! I feel I can't ask her anymore but I feel I need to get to the truth.
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