Partner wearing women's clothes

[Uncomfortablybum]

I have been seeing someone for almost 6 months. He has recently opened up about being excited by the idea of wearing women's clothes during sex. I do not know what to say. Anyone any experience of this? He tells me that this is the first time he has ever told anyone this. I want to tread carefully with this as I don't want to cause any shame for him, so I'm trying to gather my own thoughts and feelings so that I can have a conversation around it. I feel uncomfortable at the moment.

Well, it wouldn't be for me, OP, and I would end the relationship.

I'd be out of the relationship. Slippery slope.

If you don't want to indulge his fetish then don't. 'Sorry I'm not comfortable with it' is a perfectly acceptable to say to anything that you don't want to do.

Personally I'd run a mile as who knows where this is going to end up going.

Not for me.

I’d be concerned about what else there is.

Well, how do you feel about it? It’s ok if you don’t want to

Yes my initial thoughts exactly....is this the tip of the iceberg...

Run...

Is he still the man for you?

I would find that a massive turn off and also be concerned what else it might lead to. I wouldn't care if a man wanted to wear some women's clothes, like tops, if he just really liked the fabric for example, or a sarong maybe, but linking it to sex is too much for me, presumably as he means womens undies or sexy outfits. Wig? Make-up? Female persona? Wanting to not be restricted to men's fashion is one thing, a fetish entirely different. If I fancied women, I'd be a lesbian.

If you are uncomfortable with this, then you are, no shame either way.

I'm open minded around sex. I just feel like this could be more. I dont know if that's some sort of weird buried prejudice I have. I suppose I'm struggling to get in his head and understand the thrill?

It just depends on how you feel about. There is no right or no wrong, it’s great he has felt comfortable enough to express himself and of course you don’t want to shame him or make him feel unable to be authentic in future relationships buuuuuut you area also entitled to say “nah not for me”.

It’s delicate but ultimately you do not have to partake in any sexual activity purely to make a partner happy. Give it some time to think over

I’ve never heard of a man being totally satisfied with just a little bit of role play during sex, when it comes to cross dressing. It always goes further, so I’d beware of that

You don’t have to work through something to prove how unprejudiced you are. If it doesn’t appeal you’re not obliged to do it during sex.

Look up autogynaphilia. Slippery slope...I'd worry I'd end up partnered with Brenda the 'lesbian".

I'd RUN

“You’re the first one I’ve told” is a common way to coerce people into things they’d rather not do.

only do what you are interested in, and what you are comfortable with. Period.

you don’t have to protect his feelings around this. It’s not like saying “no” is mean or judgment-laden. You get to have choices for yourself.

Leave that aside for a moment.
How do YOU feel about having sex with a man while he's wearing womens clothes?
Would it be a turn off for you or make you uncomfortable?

You said you're worried about causing any shame for him, but it's important to understand that when it comes to sex topics that people can feel shamed without the other person actually shaming them. You're allowed to share your own feelings on it and you're allowed to say no without feeling guilty.

Nope. That would be the end for me.

This is autogynaphilia.

I think he probably already “dresses”. I would run a mile.

I’d be repulsed by this.

Run. Read trans widows. It always started out as a bedroom fetish.

I don't know how I feel. If I'm in a loving and committed relationship, seeing my partner experience pleasure is a turn on. I can not imagine what this would be like in the moment. It is never something I have ever considered. My worry is that this is the start of him wanting to go full on woman. I dont feel this would end at....we'll that was a crazy evening, box ticked let's move on. I feel he's telling me something else. Which I also feel will end this relationship. I am also slightly sceptical of the ' I havent felt comfortable to open up to anyone like this before' statement. But then, I have developed a certain cynicism over the years!

I think further conversations will probably reveal that he doesn’t just want to dress as a woman during sex, he will want to act out the part of a woman during sex too.

His idea of what a woman wears while having sex, and how a woman might behave will tell you all you need to know about his misogynistic ideas about women.

Yeah. For me it would depend on what aspect of it is getting him off.

i mean a sexy androgynous bloke, Bowie style. Sexy AF. Possibly even a Hot Frank-n-furter type. Comfortable with his style.

it’s a hard no to anyone who is just getting off on the perceived subordination. Of femininity. That’s just an old skool misogynist in a bra and scratchy nylon pants.

and for you OP it’s ok to not be ok with either scenario.

Don’t invest anymore of your valuable time

I bet he's been cross dressing for years- I don't believe for a second he's never indulged in this before. He's probably got loads of man-sized women's clothes hidden under his bed. I also bet that if you go along with it once or twice it will progress to him mincing around his house in women's clothes and then wanting to go out in public in this get up. Each to their own but I personally would be very wary of a man like this.