Partner wearing women's clothes

[Uncomfortablybum]

I have been seeing someone for almost 6 months. He has recently opened up about being excited by the idea of wearing women's clothes during sex. I do not know what to say. Anyone any experience of this? He tells me that this is the first time he has ever told anyone this. I want to tread carefully with this as I don't want to cause any shame for him, so I'm trying to gather my own thoughts and feelings so that I can have a conversation around it. I feel uncomfortable at the moment.

Been there, done that, bought the t shirt.

I was a naïve 20 year old and agreed to start with, but it got to the point where I asked if we could have sex without the clothes and he said no because he couldn't get hard any other way. Made me feel so special.
Our sex life was doomed from then on. Then the arsehole had an affair with a girl10 years his junior and was also financially abusive.
We had a child then, but when I discovered his affair I divorced him.

Don't do what I did, not even if he emotionally blackmails you with "but if you love me...."

His idea of what a woman wears while having sex, and how a woman might behave will tell you all you need to know about his misogynistic ideas about women.

I have to agree with @MrsDoubtfire24 on this. It would be a "no thank you" from me.

I think you have to listen to your ‘I feel uncomfortable’. What other ‘uncomfortables’ would you consider brushing aside as prejudice. If this is not for you, it’s not and trying to make it so won’t end well.

Eww, no. Get rid. It’s a hell of a lot easier now, six months in, than six years down the line, a mortgage, marriage certificate and a couple of kids later.

How old is he? What do you know about his previous relationships? Are there kids involved?

Beyond that, it’s so very, very unlikely this is the first time he’s told anyone or done this. It’s just not that sort of fetish.

This is the sort of fetish that grows and takes over everything. Becomes the only way for them to get off..

When I was younger I was involved with a man who ‘revealed himself’ to me one evening and from there it just got worse. In the end all he could talk about was what he was wearing and how much he wanted to be fked up the ar with huge black rubber dildo (I kid you not!). Luckily for me I was never in a serious relationship with him at any point and I blocked him years ago.

I find this fetish (and many others) sickening now - people with these sexual obsessions are like addicts. It’s all they live for / care about.

Many (these days most?) women who start off getting a request like this end up as trans widows. If you want more info see our website

www.transwidowsvoices.org/

And the trans widows support threads in FWR.

He wants to cosplay as a woman for his sexual fantasies?

Stinks of misogyny.

If my husband, who I've been with nigh on 20 years came out with this, I'd bin him off.

6 months in, you wouldn't see me for dust.

Sorry but run run run.This is known as autogynophilia. He says you're the first person he's told, you're not.

It's a known paraphilia and there are lots of dodgy sissy porn sites devoted to it.

Seriously, finish it or he will draw you into that world, and it's stomach churningly seedy.

This. Fast.

Christ no. There’s enough men out there. This would be an immediate next for me.

My presence on threads like this has a tendency to summon very vocal minimisers of autogynephilia. Hopefully that won't be the case this time.

Sex and dating are inherently prejudiced. You are allowed to like what you like and reject what you don't.

I'm not ageist because I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who was much older or younger than me. Women who don't want to have sex with other women are not homophobic.

Please stop trying to silence your gut because you've been conditioned to think your personal preferences might conceal bigotry, they don't, it's no different to whether you prefer tea or coffee.

You feel uncomfortable, why would you force yourself to try to become comfortable with something which doesn't appeal to you.

Thank you for your insight and sorry you went through this.

He is 47, I am 42. We both have grown up kids, not involved at all.

One thing is, he takes quite a long time during sex, to climax....it crossed my mind whether this could be either worn related or a delayed medical thing....or could be this.

I am struggling to believe I'm the first person he's said this to, to be honest.

Of course you are struggling with it, because you know a lie when you hear one.

Cut your losses, OP.

People with fetishes can be very manipulative. I can pretty much guarantee that his concern is with what he wants to do to get himself off, rather than how you might feel about it. I agree with other posters that this guff about never telling anyone before is just his way of making you worry about his 'vulnerability' and be eager to play along. Narcissism is pretty much a core component of autogynephilia.

Omg, I read some of the replies on here and i can’t believe how closed minded people are…

The love of my life liked to wear women’s clothes…That was one of his fetishes. I consider myself very open minded but I admit that I was a bit put off at first and thought less of him because of it. I am ashamed of myself that I thought that. He was (and is), however, the most exceptional human being I have ever met. Incredibly kind, patient, measured, humble, open minded, generous. He had a highly senior job and when we met I was a nanny, yet he was always proud of me and praised me for being hardworking. I think his slightly dysfunctional relationship with his mother led to certain fetishes but omg, he was and is the best man I have ever met. I was too young to understand what a treasure he was and I’ll always regret letting him go. He has changed my life for the better and taught me so much. We did break up, but that had nothing to do with his fetishes.

Be open minded!

Be open minded!

Women aren’t obliged to be open minded to something they find revolting and weird.

It wouldn’t be for me, at all.

I have, in past relationships, enjoyed particular things that my now partner has no interest in. We just don’t do them and nothing feels lacking.

In previous relationships I have declined to do certain things the other person liked the idea of. The relationships didn’t fail on not participating in that sexual fantasy.

It doesn’t sound like a prejudice to me. It’s ok not to be turned on by a man in women’s clothes. I wouldn’t like it either.

You can't call people close-minded based on this one thing, especially when you know absolutely nothing else about their sex lives! Well you can, but that would make you close-minded yourself!

We are allowed to have hard-no's and sometimes it's a visceral reaction, and sometimes there's complex reasons behind it.

It's like some kind of reverse kink shaming where if you don't embrace a kink you get shamed for it 😂

No one expects heterosexual men to be turned on by their girlfriends/wives dressing up as men and wearing fake goatees.

You can’t criticise people for having better boundaries than you.

Look up AGP and sissy porn 🤮

Nobody, but nobody would expect a heterosexual man to be open minded about their female partner wanting to dress as a beardy bloke in Y fronts and Pringle socks for sex, but women? Women must be open minded, kind and accepting of any weird fetish a man has. Bollocks to that. Men with a cross dressing fetish don't really see women as human in my opinion - we're just a collection of gender stereotypes to be worn by them to satisfy their fantasies.