Partner wearing women's clothes

[Uncomfortablybum]

I have been seeing someone for almost 6 months. He has recently opened up about being excited by the idea of wearing women's clothes during sex. I do not know what to say. Anyone any experience of this? He tells me that this is the first time he has ever told anyone this. I want to tread carefully with this as I don't want to cause any shame for him, so I'm trying to gather my own thoughts and feelings so that I can have a conversation around it. I feel uncomfortable at the moment.

Oooh, yuk. NO!

Women need to stop being pressured into going along with this kind of weird shit. No one wants to see their bloke in a dress and I don’t know why society makes it difficult to say that.

Right!

If it’s a fetish him “dressing as a woman” (ie a pornified version of one) will become a regular feature of your sex life.

if this is attractive and desirable to you as well - go for it. If not, then it’s fine to say, “Im sorry this won’t work for me” and move on

Why are you even considering doing something sexual that makes you feel uncomfortable? Do you want to spend the rest of your life having sex with a man who wants to wear a bra to have sex with you? It's a six month relationship, bin him off, you have no obligation towards him at all. I'd have ended it the minute he told me about his perversion.

If this is something he’s raised only 6 months into a new relationship, you can be sure it’s something he’s very comfortable with even if you aren’t. This would be a massive turn off for me. It’s fine to say you aren’t into it or aren’t compatible because of it.

i agree that sounds like a line to make you feel special… could be wrong of course, but it was my first thought.

can you talk to him more about the possible extent of this before you engage in it (if at all)?

I’m not sure one boundary is ‘better’ than another… just ‘different’ surely? and all fine as long as its appropriate for the individual?

Have to say, however I imagine it, it would be an instant turn off, and I'd wonder at a man who fails to see that would be the case. Some things are better kept to yourself, but if the compulsion is that strong that they are moved to say it and hope for it, then its already something that is going to be wanted on repeat.
It's being blinkered to how it affects another person.
Guaranteed to be a good line to use if you want to end a relationship though - just a thought, if there's been no hint of unusualness prior 🤔

It would be a no from me. Instant gross out and dump.

It would be the end for me. Reeks of bullshit. What does he think real women really wear? He's either a wannabe cross dresser, or trans. Never told anyone before? Pull the other one. Plus you feel there more to tell. I'd be ending it immediately.

I know and like several transgender people very much. (No, they don't let it all hang out in gym changing rooms and they arrive changed and leave to shower at home.) But if somebody I was going out with wanted to dress in women's clothes to have sex, I'd be ending it because it is a a bait and switch. It wouldn't matter if it was 6 months or 6 years. Even if they didn't want to take it further, I just would find it terribly offputting. To be fair though, some of the disgusting habits of some of the totally heterosexual cis normal partners of some Mumsnet community members would have me running too.

Even just visually in bed it'd be a 'No Thanks' from me, and I wouldn't be overthinking it either. We know what we do and don't want, no need to be led by a man's fetish. Ive known of men with fetishes and they're all-consumed by it. Your sex life will become fully about what they want, to the point you'll feel pressured as happened to a friend of mine. Open minded or not (& we dont have to prove how open minded we are to anyone), someone yapping on about fetish + wanting to act out fetish any chance they get, would be a headache

You don’t need to get in his head to understand the thrill, because it doesn’t thrill you. So don’t do it and get rid of him. The image of him in women’s clothing is forever imprinted on your brain now, anyway. Yuck.

Oh god, run, run, run!

I couldn't entertain the idea of shagging DP in a frock purely because I'd be laughing too hard.

He would have you wearing a strap on in the blink of an eye.

I dont know if that's some sort of weird buried prejudice I have.

That's where this 'you mustn't kink-shame, you must be kind' shit has got us. It's got women questioning their own boundaries and giving in to sexual acts they don't want to do.

Personally, I'd be utterly revolted and completely turned off by the idea, and tell him so.

Gross 😝 I'd feel the same if he were into dogging for example. Not for me. I like a man to be manly, I would be so turned off by this OP.

That would be it for me. It's one thing wanting him to have a good sex life but I wouldn't be able to have a good one if he was dressed like that. I wouldn't even be able to have a good conversation never mind a good sex life.

It doesn't matter what the kink is. If you're not into it the other person's need to do it gets very wearing.

Grim. I'd be off like a shot.

Barf. Men look so ridiculous dressed like this, bras are made for breasts not for some daft lump of a bloke to wear 🙄 it's so childish and pathetic. I'd massively run for the hills personally.

I find it difficult to hear the words, "This is my Big Reveal and lucky you are the first person I've EVER told," over the Bullshit Klaxon sounding inside my head.
He's testing the water before he fills it with sharks and alligators.

It doesn't sound like this is something you would like to do. And that's OK, your comfort and boundaries are not "shaming" another person's fantasies.
You seem worried that this may lead to more, that it isn't just a specific kink but the thin end of the wedge. In that case i think you need to have more in depth conversations about this.