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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hate my husband but can't afford to separate

233 replies

Namechangedforobvious · 11/03/2024 10:15

Where to begin with this one.

Married 10 years, together 20. 2 kids. He was my first real boyfriend. Fell in love with him because he was funny, the life and soul of the party. We used to go out partying until the early hours of the morning, we'd host great gatherings for our mates, being young was super fun. For various reasons I was also a bit adrift when we got together (after all I was still a teenager) and he offered a lot of stability. We finished uni and he got a great job, encouraged me to do the same so that we'd have money and adventures together. I didn't really want a top paid corporate job, I wanted to do something in the arts but nothing paid well enough for the lifestyle he wanted so I got a job in finance for the money and figured it was OK to trade off my dreams as we'd have other dreams together. So far so good. And we did have a good time together for a long time.

Things started to go wrong around the time we got married. We were also buying a house and the stability he offered started to morph into being very controlling about everything, particularly money. He diverted my salary into his bank account (I KNOW it's stupid but we were getting married anyway and it was easier not to fight) and was always on at me to earn more, pay more as we needed more money for the house and wedding. Then as soon as we were married, he was on to the next thing.

He wanted to start a family (even though we'd agreed for years we didn't want children as there is a serious genetic condition in my family I didn't want to pass on). So we fought about that. And then he wanted a new house, and wanted to renovate, which we did. Except that we'd agreed a budget which he blew (it was very much his project and he didn't want me involved... at this point I was still pretty young, in my 20s, so again I let it slide) so it cost twice what we'd had set aside. Again, more pressure on me to work longer hours and haggle for promotions and bonuses (which I did), more arguments about money, and the first of many remortgages to free up cash.

As soon as house finished we're back onto him wanting a family. I gave in and we had two children. The eldest did inherit the genetic condition which has obviously consumed a huge amount of energy for us both now for years. He blames me for this as obviously the genes come from my side. I adore the kids but having seen various family members and the strain of variously living with this condition and parenting children with the condition, it's hard and wears you down. During this time my career has continued to progress, whilst his has stalled. He's angry and bitter about this. Always making nasty sarcastic comments. He continues to manage all of the money in the house, and we as a family continue to pursue a lifestyle we candidly can't afford with the non-disabled child in private school, best possible therapists for disabled child etc. Our mortgage is even bigger than it was 10 years ago as we've continued remortgaging every few years to free up money for life.

In the meantime, his being funny has rotted with old age into him just being sarcastic and unpleasant. Him being safe has turned into being bullying and domineering. The friends we used to throw parties for have all disappeared. No one wants to be around him any more as he makes obnoxious and offensive comments. I have a lot of friends, but just see them alone. No one wants to be around him and the husbands / partners don't like him. Where I have made friends who initially try and include him he makes excuses and always has an excuse not to want to be friends. He says they're annoying or aren't on our level. My family hate him. If I want to see my parents I have to do so alone, he never comes (he says their house is too shabby and he doesn't like visiting). He won't be in the same room as my siblings (who I adore and am very very close to). If I visit extended family he also won't come as he says he gets left out because they're more interested in talking to me than him.

He has a vile temper and yells and screams at the children. He calls them idiots. He calls me a c*nt in front of them. He's only happy if we're all on our best behaviour and ideally when I proactively think of everything he might like - cook his favourite meals, make sure kids are on best behaviour, house is tidy, and ideally take them out alone on the weekends so he can have a break. Noting that I work longer hours than him as am more senior in my job so I have to do all of this on top of working 50 hours a week so that he can lie around and scroll on his phone. If I ask him to do anything around the house he loses his temper. I never ask him to take the kids to give me a break as I know he gets angry and yells at them.

Where is this all going as a post (to anyone who has read this far). I just feel so trapped.

I work full time and am lucky enough to be very very well paid. But I do not have a penny of savings or anything to show for it.

The house is heavily mortgaged. With the equity in the house we could afford to sell and each my husband and I could afford maybe a tiny flat in our area we live in London. Obviously moving would be really hard for the kids.

Then there's the issue of childcare. My eldest needs specialist care which we've previously done through having live-in nannies (live out waaaay expensive megabucks and with working hours we need someone around all through school holidays etc). And I couldn't afford to get a place which was big enough for me, 2 kids and a nanny. BUT I also couldn't afford a live out nanny with the specialist skills required (as a benchmark c.£35k a year live in... JUST affordable, £60k a year to live out).

We could move out of London to get a bigger place but my job is tied to London, as are some of the specialist facilities my eldest needs (he attends a special school of which there are only a handful in the country of this profile).

I could get a new job with the hours to be able to do childcare myself but I don't know what job would enable me to work 10-3 each day (no after school clubs for disabled child) and have 20 weeks off a year for school holidays and pay even enough to be able to feed us, let alone pay for housing, council tax etc. A million percent nothing in my sector that's for sure.

I feel so stuck.

What am I looking for by writing all of this? I suppose just to get it off my chest. Anyone else got through a similar experience? I want out of this marriage so badly. I don't want my kids exposed to their father's angry domineering behaviour. I want them to have the experience of seeing what a healthy relationship can look like. I want them to see a happy mother. My youngest each day begs us to stop arguing. He draws pictures of his dad with an angry face, and also has adopted his father's awful mood swings, he goes from smiling and happy to hitting me and telling me he hates me.

It's all such a mess.

OP posts:
RubyOtter · 11/03/2024 20:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mountainnnnn · 11/03/2024 20:37

‘Every single suggestion anyone makes OP, you make excuses as to why it can't happen.’

I agree with PP - I totally get that you are in a difficult place OP and really do empathise, I know you have challenges. But there are women who truly cannot afford to separate and still do it, who live on nothing to get their kids (and themselves!) out of terrible, abusive or toxic situations. You have a child in private school, you earn a good wage. In short, you CAN afford to separate, it sounds like the real problem is your own self belief. I don’t talk about other, much poorer women to make you feel bad - but maybe by considering them you can realise the relatively good position you are in, financially at least, and that your life is in your own hands? I’m sure your horrible husband has ground down your confidence, but you can do it, you can and must move forward, whatever the obstacles.

whatwhatwhot · 11/03/2024 20:48

Wow! Register your interest in the house with the land registry, transfer your salary to your account, transfer enough to cover your part of the mortgage , take your child out of private school . Buy a 2 bed flat. Get a live out nanny or share with your kid and get a live in nanny. Completely doable

Mumofmarauders · 11/03/2024 20:53

I absolutely get the unique challenges with having a disabled child who can't access any holiday care, and for whom moving schools is an incredibly complicated issue. We only manage the school holidays by my husband and I staggering our annual leave so that we get very little holiday together but, helped by me working part time, just about cover them. It's a total nightmare that I think most people simply can't conceive of!
I just wanted to send solidarity for this awful situation. It can be so lonely parenting a child who is disabled (not through any fault of the child, of course) but I can't imagine what it's like when your partner is no partner at all.
Only you can weigh up the detrimental impact of potentially moving schools/you changing career and doing more care and so losing the expert nanny as against continuing the status quo. One thought that occurred to me is that depending on the nature of the disability it might be that your eldest isn't really affected by the cruel words your husband says to him and to you, and the awful role model he presents. But the younger one definitely is. It's so hard balancing the needs of our disabled and non-disabled kids (and I feel like sometimes I swing way too far in one direction and then over correct) but the impact on the younger one for sure must be very serious.

Familylawso1icitor · 11/03/2024 21:06

Family lawyer here. You’re assuming a 50:50 split on the equity of the house but I do query if you can’t rehouse the children given their needs with this whether this would be the right outcome. The children’s needs are the law’s first priority. Please see a family law solicitor in real life.

LovelyButteryBiscuitBase · 11/03/2024 21:11

Mumofmarauders · 11/03/2024 20:53

I absolutely get the unique challenges with having a disabled child who can't access any holiday care, and for whom moving schools is an incredibly complicated issue. We only manage the school holidays by my husband and I staggering our annual leave so that we get very little holiday together but, helped by me working part time, just about cover them. It's a total nightmare that I think most people simply can't conceive of!
I just wanted to send solidarity for this awful situation. It can be so lonely parenting a child who is disabled (not through any fault of the child, of course) but I can't imagine what it's like when your partner is no partner at all.
Only you can weigh up the detrimental impact of potentially moving schools/you changing career and doing more care and so losing the expert nanny as against continuing the status quo. One thought that occurred to me is that depending on the nature of the disability it might be that your eldest isn't really affected by the cruel words your husband says to him and to you, and the awful role model he presents. But the younger one definitely is. It's so hard balancing the needs of our disabled and non-disabled kids (and I feel like sometimes I swing way too far in one direction and then over correct) but the impact on the younger one for sure must be very serious.

What a kind response.

We have the same situation and manage it by myself working a day shift and my DH working part time in the evenings, it means that we never get much time together. It's nigh on impossible for us to source any after school or holiday care. As a couple in full partnership together it is already exhausting and soul destroying. I cannot begin to fathom just how much harder it is to manage against the back drop of domestic abuse.

As someone who works in this area, I beg you to weigh up the needs of your children to grow up in a home free of domestic abuse and balance this against their other needs. Little boys who grow up around domestic abuse are far more likely to become domestic abusers themselves. Your relationship is the blueprint for how they will go on to develop their own relationships. Witnessing domestic abuse is utterly toxic for child brain development. Where I live children are now also considered to be victims of domestic abuse where it occurs.

You can reach out to womens aid. Your local authority may also have a domestic abuse support team.

Willnoonethinkofthebirds · 11/03/2024 21:12

Pinkbonbon · 11/03/2024 19:50

The thing is, you can afford to leave. You just wont be able to keep the same kushty lifestyle.
You could rent instead of buying.

My sympathy for you rather went out the window when you said he is calling your children idiots and you're still just hanging around.

Rent somewhere for six months. Save money then move somewhere cheaper. Maybe even (gasp) the North. If you think you can find work there.

Did you actually read the thread? That was a completely uncalled for attack on someone who is struggling with accepting she needs to leave her marriage because her husband is financially and emotionally abusive.

EdgarsTale · 11/03/2024 21:19

Just get out. There’s always a way. You can’t keep exposing your DC to such an abusive, toxic atmosphere. It will be damaging them significantly.

eatsleepfarmrepeat · 11/03/2024 21:31

Would your work consider a hybrid home/office based approach? I’m London weighted salary in a senior management role but I’m only in the city two days a week. I’m 1.5hrs away on the main line train and therefore living near Peterborough our house is significantly cheaper than London. The two office days are long but the trade off is the money and the work life balance, plus picking the kids up earlier on my wfh days.

Your husband sounds like a prick and you sound awesome, absolutely leave the bastard.

Namechangedforobvious · 11/03/2024 21:33

Pinkbonbon · 11/03/2024 19:50

The thing is, you can afford to leave. You just wont be able to keep the same kushty lifestyle.
You could rent instead of buying.

My sympathy for you rather went out the window when you said he is calling your children idiots and you're still just hanging around.

Rent somewhere for six months. Save money then move somewhere cheaper. Maybe even (gasp) the North. If you think you can find work there.

I’m not sure I’d call my lifestyle kushty. I work 50 hour weeks and when I’m not at work I’m caring for a disabled kid and his brother. No blow dries or manicures happening round here.

I am actually from the north (grew up on a council estate), your tone implies you’re making a lot of assumptions about the kind of person I am.

I couldn’t do my current job outside London. I could do a job, sure. But all my mates and my whole life is in London as well as (my main concern) a very specialist school for my kid. If you don’t have a disabled child it’s very difficult to understand the huge amount of difficulty it is finding them the right provision.

The point on him being verbally abusive though, I get. It’s hard to explain how in the moment the focus is on keeping the kids calm and smoothing things over so everyone gets back on track.

OP posts:
samqueens · 11/03/2024 21:34

Apologies in advance to @Namechangedforobvious - and everyone else here, that this is so incredibly long. I had to get it all out. Anyone except OP should feel free to skip!!

Ok OP - I have read all your posts (but not the entire thread). I am going to short cut here or I will write three pages worth of posts in one extended essay, so I apologise in advance if any of this sounds harsh - it truly is not intended that way. But this man has taken hold of your, clearly extremely highly functioning brain, and so you are not seeing wood for trees…

That being said - I think some advice here, while really well meaning, plays into your understandable attitude which appears to be that you have to make changes in order to allow for the change of divorce.

This is an arse about tit way of looking at the issue and you absolutely MUST change this perspective if you are going minimize the impact of getting rid of him and live an emotionally improved life. (There will be some downturn in lifestyle at some stage - that’s probably inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be immediate/forever or insuperable).

You are with an abuser, so tread carefully in the first instance. Speak to Women’s Aid (from work not home) and to a solicitor (initial consultations are free and I can’t believe that through work you don’t know any women who have got divorced, so find a decent recommendation). Also research solicitors specializing in DV and see if there’s any crossover with the recommendations you get. Speak to more than one solicitor so you get a second opinion. (Obviously do all this on a work computer in the office and not at home). Find out what you need to arm yourself as much as possible before pulling the plug. Do NOT leave your job/rent a new property/pull your kid from private school etc etc as a first step. Your aim is not to fit your potential future needs around what your H will find acceptable or make a minimal fuss about - anything you do he will find unacceptable and go razed earth on. Your aim is to make a life that works for your children and you, even if you have to tackle some changes to that later down the road once the dust has settled.

I don’t understand about the mortgage - it’s in his name right? Are you on the deeds to the house? There must be a way to turn the fact that the debt is entirely in his name to your advantage (If he doesn’t pay they aren’t coming after you, they come after him after all. So it’s less a case of you worrying that he will stop paying half, and more that he will freak if you’re no longer paying into it). But if what you’re saying is that it’s entirely his house on paper then you still have rights to it as a martial asset and you may well be able to stay until the children are 18 if they can’t be accommodated in a smaller place, even if you have to sell/buy him out later on. (How old are the children now?)

You need records of the DV. Specific incidents if possible. If he is physically violent - ever- call the police. Try and write a timeline of what’s happened (again leave at work). Use your voice memo app on your phone to record when he kicks off at you/children if you can do so safely. This is often surprisingly easy to do.

Do you have access to the paperwork of bills etc in the house somewhere? Take photos of what you can find. Do you know where you and the children’s passports are? Do you think you could take them into work without him realising?

The goals are:
to get control of your own income and understand the full picture of current outgoings/necessities, and the debts for which you are liable.
To get him out of house and start divorce proceedings and fight about it who gets what after that ball is rolling.
To stay in the house as long as possible (they aren’t going to repo it the first day the mortgage doesn’t get paid).
To keep your current childcare and schooling situation intact until such a time as you have literally no option but to make a change in those areas (which will be driven partly by finances, but as long as your working off joint finances that’s skewing the picture).
(Do you already claim DLA for your SEN child? Not sure what the means testing is on that but it’s worth exploring. Do you claim child benefit - might be worth doing even if you have to pay it all back annually, as it’ll give you an interim slush fund if you have it paid into your own bank account.)

You will NOT be able to do this alone - you absolutely need women’s aid input and solicitor input in the first instance. This will help you do things in an order which maximizes your chance of keeping as much of what you need as is possible, and especially of keeping the kids on an even keel while this gets worked through - because it will be hell to deal with, make no mistake about it. But it will be worth it.

On this journey you will need to fight the perception some people will have that because you earn well you can’t also be struggling financially/shouldn’t be entitled to help. You will also have to fight your own self-perception of those things. In my experience when you’re in a high income bracket/middle class then there is a massive amount of “this shouldn’t be happening to someone like me” stigma to get over. But you HAVE to do what’s best for you and the children in the long run.

In order to get help you are also going to have to admit to being vulnerable in situations where you won’t be used to it and you won’t want to do it. For instance, my guess is that the private school will find some fee help for your child to stay, certainly in the short/medium term, if you can’t pay fees as a result of taking back control of your finances. But to access that you’re going to have to go in there and admit to the abuse, admit to the whole situation, ask for confidentiality and say you want your child to stay and ASK for any help they can give. That’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Likewise there may come a point where you need to confide in your line manager/start taking one day a week as holiday to give time to deal with matters or prevent burn out, you may need to access mental health support through work (lots of offices have well-being support available now). It won’t be easy to let people know what’s going on but you have to get into a mindset of asking for help and taking whatever you can get that’s offered. You have to face the fact that you and your children are victims of domestic violence and act accordingly. The stigma only begins to disappear when people are willing to admit what’s happening. And no-one can really help you until you do. You might be amazed to find that others you know have probably experienced elements of this themselves.

I would also ask your work if there’s a way to siphon off some of your salary to another account if you can find a way to do it without raising flags - eg. Can you pause/reduce pension contributions for a while and have them send that amount to a new account in your own name? Or to a friend/family member’s account whom you trust to hold it for you (no sending it abroad though, as the exchange rate might reduce it)?

Ending the relationship does not necessarily mean you have to prostrate yourself to some kind of minimum wage hell. You have some resources and you have to use what you have to fight your way through. Turning your life upside down and jettisoning costs pre-emptively might seem like the only way to stay safe - but you could no worse, or even better off, if you just get in the ring and duke it all out in court. And you’ll certainly have more options in the end if you don’t give up your job now.

Your relationship has made you passive and made you feel powerless. You need to get WAY more fight into you to propel you forward. There is no easy way to get through, past and over this situation, but you absolutely must fight for your children. At the moment they are growing up in an abusive home and I know that’s not what you want for them. You can’t know how all the chips will eventually fall and you can’t control your H or all the possible outcomes here. But you can take it a step at a time, show your children what’s right, and find your voice and your way through this.

If you haven’t read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft then download a copy on kindle app or Apple Books and get reading - it’s very compassionate and insightful and certainly did me more good than years of counselling.

So instead of looking at all this as “yes, but…”, instead try to get curious about what you can and should be doing - and what might be possible if you do. My guess is you’ll need to very carefully lay a plan and execute it very fast all at once. But Wonen’s Aid and a solicitor will be able to advise. Maintain the status quo with him while you get your ducks in a row. When getting advice be clear on what you need and want - ie. I want him out of the house. I want a divorce. I want to stay in the house with the kids. I want him to help pay for the nanny etc etc.

Of course you have to do all this while maintaining the moral high ground, always acting in the children’s best interests, not letting him draw you into nastiness and so on. It’ll be the fight of your life - you just have to believe you can win it. (Sorry it’s an essay - it wasn’t much of a short cut after all).

Namechangedforobvious · 11/03/2024 21:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I actually haven’t. Quite a few i’ve taken on board, i just haven’t responded to every message.

But when people are asking if there are certain things I can try which are just not possible (like moving in with my dementia riddled parents in another country) or sweet but so outside the realm of plausibility (getting my mates to crowdfund rent, when 2 bed flats round here are £3k a month, I can assure you none of my friends have that kind of cash lying around), I am going to call it out.

I’m not worried about being poor. I AM worried about making my kids homeless. I AM worried about destroying their lives. I AM worried that my disabled child won’t get the care he needs. I AM worried i won’t be able to afford childcare and will lose my job and not be able to feed us all.

These aren’t silly concerns I just need to bat away. They’re major major things I need to work out.

OP posts:
OhcantthInkofaname · 11/03/2024 21:44

Quit being the damsel in distress. Take back your life. This life you are living is not good for you or your children.

Namechangedforobvious · 11/03/2024 21:46

OhcantthInkofaname · 11/03/2024 21:44

Quit being the damsel in distress. Take back your life. This life you are living is not good for you or your children.

I don’t think I am. I think I am in a real financial muddle I’m trying to use this forum to think through how i unpick

OP posts:
Startyabastard · 11/03/2024 21:50

OhcantthInkofaname · 11/03/2024 21:44

Quit being the damsel in distress. Take back your life. This life you are living is not good for you or your children.

I don't think that's fair at all!
Can you imagine the OP's life?
I have a neurological disability and I can imagine how hard it is for you to have the right school for your disabled child.
Very difficult situation, I wouldn't wish it on myself.. Well I've had similar abuse in my family.
I hope you find an answer, OP.

Indifferentchickenwings · 11/03/2024 21:50

You need legal advice asap

and also to consider reducing private school

I know this feels insescapable but with some changes and cuts , it’s possible - you can’t see it as you can’t imagine it

Also get a spreadsheet and divert your salary to you and get forensic on where every penny goes

there will be support for disabled kids that doesn’t involve you paying , I myself have an ECHP

but see a Soliciter and look into financial abuse

all the best to you
One step at a time

Startyabastard · 11/03/2024 21:52

Your DH is a piece of crap leaving you without money like that. He sounds very narcissistic!

Indifferentchickenwings · 11/03/2024 21:54

I’m not worried about being poor. I AM worried about making my kids homeless. I AM worried about destroying their lives. I AM worried that my disabled child won’t get the care he needs. I AM worried i won’t be able to afford childcare and will lose my job and not be able to feed us all.

this is a woman speaking in high stress

you won’t be homeless , you have a well paid job
your children will eventually get care , you will join all the senco parents but you will get an ECHP
amd if you have held onto this job so far , why would you lose it

I know it’s so fucking easy to say this but you are stressed and have lost sight of both hope and practicality x

zeibesaffron · 11/03/2024 21:57

Please phone woman’s aid tomorrow, you can leave it won’t be ideal but you can go - start to move stuff out - things of value, paperwork etc.

Can you go to your parents? your siblings?
Just get out - change your wages to go into your account you can do that just before you leave so you go and get paid.

Get free advice with a solicitor- your married so everything is split. Get advice about police involvement this is abuse and you have clear evidence you have no money and he is horrid. Keep any texts/ evidence etc…

I am sorry but bluntly you need to safeguard your kids and you from this monster - you have lots of friends and good family support use this and leave!!

Duckduckgoes · 11/03/2024 22:01

OP, you haven't said yet whether you will take back control of your salary? It's the number one thing all the posters here agree on, for good reason.

You're saying that all your income goes on mortgage etc but what real proof do you have of this? It sounds like you don't actually have a clear idea of exact finances. You need to start tracking every penny.

You're being financially abused. You cannot trust anything your husband has told you re finances, and that includes how much he earns. He could well be using your income to keep things afloat while squirrelling away all of his.

Get your salary into your own bank account. Contact a charity to discuss your situation. No decision is in itself a decision - a decision to accept the status quo and have it continue for the next fifty years. Please make a change for your DCs' sake as well as for your own.

SwordToFlamethrower · 11/03/2024 22:17

Sending you love and strength OP!

ladykale · 11/03/2024 22:40

OP you haven't responded to suggestions re: getting your salary paid into your own account. That's something that you can do literally from next pay roll.

The situation isn't as dire as it could be if you have a high salary. The only problem will be if he asks for 50/50 custody and you have to pay child maintenance to him, but speak to a family solicitor asap.

The child who is not disabled doesn't need to be in private school.

If you are in a high paid job surely you can pay someone £16-18ph to do drop offs and pick ups from 3pm? Confused as to why this wouldn't be possible.

Living in a 3 bedroom ground floor flat in a slightly less desirable and cheaper area sounds more attractive than your current set up!

Divorce him asap, and at least you will have full control over your own money!

Circe7 · 11/03/2024 23:14

It sounds like a very tough situation but you should also consider the risk of staying - even just the financial risk. Based on what you’ve said, at some point your husband will make another reckless financial decision without your input and burn through more of your assets and / or put your home at risk, if it isn’t already. You don’t seem to have visibility over what he’s doing. You could stay and still end up unable to afford your life and it could come crashing down in a much more chaotic way than a planned exit which would at least leave you with control of your finances.

It sounds odd that you have such a large mortgage only in his name- are you certain you’re not on it (possibly fraudulently). You may be able to get some information publicly e.g from the Land Registry.

redastherose · 12/03/2024 00:31

@Namechangedforobvious read what @samqueens has written. It is really very good advice.

You can do this and you can have a better life but only you can make it happen.

Why do you think you would on,y have 50% of the equity if the house had to be sold? If you were the one housing the children you could very well be given greater share. Also, owning a house is good if you can afford it but you could rent if the house had to be sold. Your mortgage must be a high repayment if you've remortgage over and again.

Also, if you are not on the mortgage or house deeds how has he been able to get a mortgage if you are the higher earner, something doesn't add up here. I would guess that he's lied to you about numerous things and I'm fairly sure I wouldn't trust anything he's told you about the house/mortgage/his earning etc.

Please contact women aid and a good family law solicitor and start getting advice. Knowledge is power.

travellina · 12/03/2024 00:43

Circe7 · 11/03/2024 23:14

It sounds like a very tough situation but you should also consider the risk of staying - even just the financial risk. Based on what you’ve said, at some point your husband will make another reckless financial decision without your input and burn through more of your assets and / or put your home at risk, if it isn’t already. You don’t seem to have visibility over what he’s doing. You could stay and still end up unable to afford your life and it could come crashing down in a much more chaotic way than a planned exit which would at least leave you with control of your finances.

It sounds odd that you have such a large mortgage only in his name- are you certain you’re not on it (possibly fraudulently). You may be able to get some information publicly e.g from the Land Registry.

And also the risk of how staying will affect your children.

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