I think you're "addicted" to the fact that he hasn't fallen for you. You keep thinking he will, if you just persevere long enough/keep trying/stay in contact; maybe he finally will.
But if he hasn't by now, it's highly unlikely he will. It's his personality. You're barking up the wrong tree.
Ateotd some people fall for us, some don't
I would hazard a guess that you had v few relationships/encounters before your h. Because many people experience someone not falling for them, believing they might fall for them if they have enough contact, if they have enough sex with them, if the sex is exciting and novel enough etc etc And they realise none of that works.
But you appear to be experiencing this for the first time (?) And haven't got to the realisation.
Ultimately it's ego and immaturity and idealism - to think everyone's going to fall for you. You need to get past that.
How is he worth getting him to fall for you anyway .... He's not good partner material.
Also, I find a lot of Other Women are naive vulnerable and fall.for the cheaters script. I don't find many Other Men are like that .... They are often very different, they are often quite predatory and cavalier and just see an opportunity for sex. And whatever niceties they say to their faces, you wouldn't like to know how they actually view cheating women, it's not flattering.
It doesn't say good things about him at all that he's shagging a married woman. It says he has low morals.
(It also suggests that he wanted something that would "go nowhere" ie he didn't want you or expect you to leave your h when he got involved).
Forget about trying to "win" with this guy ... You can't, you couldn't from the very start.
He's also low quality. Stop wasting your time and body on low quality.