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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't move on from affair

68 replies

GetactiveinMarch · 08/03/2024 08:57

I had an affair - noone found out but I have gradually tried to fade it away because I just kept going back. My husband is kind, loving and generous. The other man is a player. I know I deserve it and will be told how nasty I am but I am truly lost as to moving on. It went on for a long time and not once did the other man admit any deep feelings for me. I do love my husband but like a best friend. Life with the other man would be awful; he drinks too much, stuck in his own ways and basically quite selfish. My children are grown up. On the outside I have everything I ever wanted but I feel so sad and lonely. I go for a couple of weeks no contact and then back to square 1 again. Anybody else had this?

OP posts:
perplexedbutok · 08/03/2024 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

gotmychristmasmiracle · 08/03/2024 09:09

It's hard, go no contact, ask him to do the same and keep remembering his negative traits. Work on yourself, self esteem, home life, hobbies. And don't look back!

GingerScallop · 08/03/2024 09:15

Go to contact. Block him on all communications. Every time you feel tempted, get a book to read or leave your phone aside and go for a walk or get busy. You are addicted to the dopamine he gives.
Cultivate your current relationship if you want to stay married but be honest with yourself. Oh and being married to a best friend is not bad at all. Issue can be when we start neglecting it, taking partners for granted because they are best friends. Talk, cuddle, go for a walk holding hands and see if that builds a better relationship 0

VestibuleVirgin · 08/03/2024 09:18

If you were a bloke, you would be called out as a CL. You don't love your husband, you've had an affair, yet you still enjoy the benefits of married life.
Leave your husband and let him find someone who does love him
Just because you leave your husband, doesn't mean you HAVE to get together with this other man (who sounds a real charmer and I can see the attraction...) - it isn't the law you know

SomersetTart · 08/03/2024 09:28

This will sound harsh I'm afraid.

You need to keep reminding yourself that you are sacrificing your own happiness and any chance of fully inhabiting your own life and marriage for a deceitful shag with a selfish drunk who doesn't love you in any way shape or form.

Do you own thing. Keep busy. See friends. Book a holiday with your husband. Make your own thing to look forward to. Only you can stop this and if you don't the rest of your life will revolve around jumping to the tune of this man who you admit would make your life awful.

Ifitsamouse · 08/03/2024 09:30

Think of it like this.
If your dh finds out and divorces you the chances of him finding a loving, kind, generous, intelligent partner are far higher than yours.
You’ll be swimming in a pool populated by men no better than your lover.
Or you for that matter

GetactiveinMarch · 08/03/2024 09:30

@SomersetTart Not harsh - truthful.

OP posts:
Rania78 · 08/03/2024 11:27

Leave your husband, If you really love him, and let him find someone who loves him. It doesn’t look like he deserves this treatment.
Then have some therapy to understand why you choose a man like this over a loving, kind man. This shows little self-respect.

Epidote · 08/03/2024 12:16

You neither love your husband or yourself, you are craving drama with the OM because something is making you an addict of that toxicity.

You can make it right going no contact and coming clean to your husband.

Best of luck.

tittybumbum · 08/03/2024 12:51

OP you are human. You have human fallibility and have created a bad situation

Please block this man on everything. It won't be easy but over time you will crave him less and hopefully even wonder what you saw in him.

Regarding your relationship with your dh, can you accept a life with a wonderful man whom you don't feel excited by? Can you reignite any spark? Would you rather separate and hope to find lasting love elsewhere? What do you want?

GetactiveinMarch · 08/03/2024 13:07

@tittybumbum I don't want to separate from my husband. I want to stop thinking about other man, wondering what he's doing, who he is talking to. I want to wake up every morning without the constant worry.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 08/03/2024 13:12

Nobody will agree with me, but I think you need to show a little common decency and tell your husband. He has the right to make informed decisions about his future and his sexual health just as you do. At the moment you are making him live a lie. You say he's kind, loving and generous - he thinks he's pouring all that love and emotional investment into someone who is faithful and loyal and loves him back. It's despicable to let him go on wasting himself on a cheat.

Purpledragonz · 08/03/2024 13:28

I'm sorry but ew
I understand we are all human and sometimes we make mistakes but do you have absolutely no safe control? Every couple of weeks?

You sound like a drama queen who thrives on the idea of doing something morally wrong and the risk of getting caught.

You won't know the chance you have to have a "boring" home life until you lose it.

Attend couple therapy or do your husband a favour and leave him.
And maybe get a hobby.

tittybumbum · 08/03/2024 13:39

GetactiveinMarch · 08/03/2024 13:07

@tittybumbum I don't want to separate from my husband. I want to stop thinking about other man, wondering what he's doing, who he is talking to. I want to wake up every morning without the constant worry.

The only way you will move past this limerant behaviour and obsession is by creating distance. You HAVE to block him and not contact him for a good 3 months to break your attachment

HungryBeagle · 08/03/2024 13:45

GetactiveinMarch · 08/03/2024 13:07

@tittybumbum I don't want to separate from my husband. I want to stop thinking about other man, wondering what he's doing, who he is talking to. I want to wake up every morning without the constant worry.

But if he knew you were having an affair, he would want to leave you. It’s only right that he’s given that choice. He sounds like a decent bloke, unless there’s information you’ve missed out, so he deserves the chance to find someone who actually loves him.

takemeawayagain · 08/03/2024 14:14

You're not in love with your husband, you're just using him for stability/convenience/financial reasons while you sleep with someone else. You need to leave him as he deserves much better. No one can stop you from obsessing over the other man, but you're obviously not happy with what you have and you're treating your husband horribly, so you need to leave.

SomersetTart · 08/03/2024 15:18

I want to stop thinking about other man, wondering what he's doing, who he is talking to. I want to wake up every morning without the constant worry.

What are you worrying about?

You could just switch this off. It is the only thing that will change anything.

If you wake up tomorrow still worrying you are wasting another day.
Kick the selfish, drunk player who has no feelings for you into touch.
Get on with your days.

I can tell you this....if you get found out it will be a catastrophe in your life, your husband's life and that of your children. The implications will last all your days.

Nothing good will ever come of this. How many days of your life will you waste before you turn it off.

Usernamechange1234 · 08/03/2024 21:17

Stop thinking about yourself and start empathising with your husband might be a start.

Read up on the PTSD and trauma that is common place on discovery of an affair, read up on how you’ve removed your husbands right to informed sexual consent and his personal agency, how you’ve effectively abused this man you describe as kind, loving and generous.

Pick up a copy of ‘cheating in a nutshell’ to get a sense of the kind of damage affairs inflict.

Get yourself on surviving infidelity and read their wayward forum.

All affairs do is pass pain on to someone who doesn’t deserve it, deal with your shit, get yourself into counselling whatever and go no contact and mean it!

Idontknowwhattodo78 · 08/03/2024 21:48

Your entire post reeks of “me me me” which is not unusual, because affairs are ultimately, incredibly selfish acts. I would recommend you make an appointment with a decent psychotherapist to work out why you are sabotaging your life in this way. You may not want to leave your husband but if he knew the truth about you, honestly, what would HIS choice be?

Mylippy · 08/03/2024 21:56

GetactiveinMarch · 08/03/2024 08:57

I had an affair - noone found out but I have gradually tried to fade it away because I just kept going back. My husband is kind, loving and generous. The other man is a player. I know I deserve it and will be told how nasty I am but I am truly lost as to moving on. It went on for a long time and not once did the other man admit any deep feelings for me. I do love my husband but like a best friend. Life with the other man would be awful; he drinks too much, stuck in his own ways and basically quite selfish. My children are grown up. On the outside I have everything I ever wanted but I feel so sad and lonely. I go for a couple of weeks no contact and then back to square 1 again. Anybody else had this?

I had a long affair left my husband for him I have lived with the regret for over 20 years stick with your hubby you will be glad you did in the long run

K8ate · 09/03/2024 07:13

I’m assuming the sex part of the relationship is better with the other man compared to your dh?

Whycantiwinmillionsandsquillions · 09/03/2024 07:19

What is your sex life like with your dh?
Start to work on that.
Start to cuddle and kiss your dh.
If he asks why the change say you think it’s becoming a bit stale and you want to pep things up.
Make yourself desire him,
If not I’m afraid you might never get over your exciting OM.

Garlicnaan · 09/03/2024 07:27

You don't want the affair to end. Otherwise you would end it. It's not like you slipped and fell back into bed with this guy... You're choosing it.

You can't even go longer than a few weeks, you're not even trying frankly.

You have to CHOOSE your marriage. And COMMIT.

Rileybb · 09/03/2024 07:31

You know you need to leave your husband
But you want your cake and eat it.

@VestibuleVirgin whats a CL?

Xenoi24 · 09/03/2024 07:41

I think you're "addicted" to the fact that he hasn't fallen for you. You keep thinking he will, if you just persevere long enough/keep trying/stay in contact; maybe he finally will.

But if he hasn't by now, it's highly unlikely he will. It's his personality. You're barking up the wrong tree.

Ateotd some people fall for us, some don't

I would hazard a guess that you had v few relationships/encounters before your h. Because many people experience someone not falling for them, believing they might fall for them if they have enough contact, if they have enough sex with them, if the sex is exciting and novel enough etc etc And they realise none of that works.
But you appear to be experiencing this for the first time (?) And haven't got to the realisation.

Ultimately it's ego and immaturity and idealism - to think everyone's going to fall for you. You need to get past that.

How is he worth getting him to fall for you anyway .... He's not good partner material.

Also, I find a lot of Other Women are naive vulnerable and fall.for the cheaters script. I don't find many Other Men are like that .... They are often very different, they are often quite predatory and cavalier and just see an opportunity for sex. And whatever niceties they say to their faces, you wouldn't like to know how they actually view cheating women, it's not flattering.

It doesn't say good things about him at all that he's shagging a married woman. It says he has low morals.

(It also suggests that he wanted something that would "go nowhere" ie he didn't want you or expect you to leave your h when he got involved).

Forget about trying to "win" with this guy ... You can't, you couldn't from the very start.

He's also low quality. Stop wasting your time and body on low quality.

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