Am I wrong for being angry at partner for not coming to my sisters funeral

[Popculturexix]

My partner and I have been together for 3 years. He has 3 kids from a previous relationship.
my sister died two weeks ago at the age of 30, leaving behind my neice who is 9. I am truly devastated beyond words. She died from a blood clot travelling from her broken foot up to her lungs, which caused cardiac arrest and she was oxygen deprived for 40 mins which lead to her brain being starved and she was pronounced brain dead.
my partner and I don’t live together and I asked him to accompany me to the funeral and he said no because he is going with his ex to look at a new school for one of his kids. This seems to be a regular thing, when I was pregnant with his child, I had to attend a scan alone as he was with his kids mum yet again, only to learn my 20 week baby’s heart stopped at 18 weeks. He was with her when I called him and I had to tell him over the phone. Am I wrong for feeling like I don’t matter. I know a man has to put his kids first but surely there has to be abit of leeway for times like this?

You are not wrong. I'm so sorry for your loss. I couldn't forgive him for his choice not to attend both of those events but in particular the funeral for your sister.

I would hope you're now referring to your ex-partner.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your sister.

I’m sorry for your loss. He should have been with you for both occasions.

Your poor sister. What a horrendous loss for you and all her family. I’m so sorry.

Your boyfriend is awful. I couldn’t stay with him.

He's a shit OP. He 100% should have come with you - a school can be looked at another time.

I would be seriously considering LTB. But you are in grief, so be kind to yourself. Is he supporting you emotionally at all?

Oh I’m so sorry about your sister 💐

I couldn’t get past this, I’m afraid this isn’t a life partner, a best friend, the person who has your back and you can turn to - which is what he should be xx

I am sorry for your loss. The way it sounds I think it's better you end this relationship as he will always put his kids first (which he should) but also him spending so much time co-parenting his kids means he doesn't really have time for you and to be there when you need him. Or you need to get used to being the last one in pecking order and be prepared to do lots of things by yourself.

So incredibly sorry for the loss of your sister, it must be very shocking. You are absolutely not being unreasonable. I think after some time has passed and you've been given some time to grieve, you may want to relook at the man you're with. He sounds quite cruel and completely unreliable as a partner.

I haven’t seen him since my sister died, we live in different towns. He keeps saying that he has issues down there with one of his kids misbehaving so he needs to be there to support his ex.
my family can’t get their heads around it and they don’t understand why I’m with such a careless peice of s..t

I’m so sorry about your sister. Absolutely tragic.

Quite honestly, you should have got rid of this guy after the scan incident. He doesn’t want to support you the way he should and he’s using his previous family as an excuse. Plenty of other men balance kids and a new partner. You deserve better.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister snd also your baby. You deserve do much better than him.

I am so sorry about the shocking loss of your sister.

I agree with others above - your partner is not good enough for you.

You deserve better, keep telling yourself that until you really believe it.

He is absolutely awful. There are no excuses for his behaviour.

Get rid. You deserve better.

So sorry about your sister and I hope you have support elsewhere xx

Agree. He is not a partner.

Sorry to hear about your sister (and the baby loss too).

I totally agree with your family
He's not there for you when you need him

So sorry for your losses. Would she even want him there knowing how unsupportive he is. Maybe you can get strength from her life to live your life prioritising your happiness a little more.

I’m so sorry for your loses. He shouldn’t just be expected to be there, he should want to be there to support you.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. May your sister rest in peace.
He is an absolute piece of shit. His behavior is absolutely not normal at all.

How awful, kids come before having fun OF COURSE but you'd been with him three years before needing him at this sad time.
If he doesn't support you in your lowest moments. I'd be reassessing if I were you. Xx

I agree with your family. Even if he were a decent man it would be hard to manage a partner living in a different town to his children. Also do you really want to have a child with a man who not only has three children but they live in another town. How will life look for you, your child and the other children?

I'm so sorry for your losses @Popculturexix

Are you sure this 'man' and his ex are actually apart because he's putting an awful lot of effort into her (and none into you, but you know that).

He's telling you how much priority he gives you. Please give yourself all the priority now and move on from this worthless waste of space.

He needs to support his ex? Yes, he absolutely should be there to support his children, but in a situation that you have had, which must have been an absolute body blow, I would have expected that he prioritise you. Especially as he let you down over your baby.

He’s more interested in his ex, get rid

Why are you with him? That’s not a rhetorical question. What does he do for this relationship or you?
Sorry for your losses, he should have been with you for both of those and the fact he isn’t is unforgivable.