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Original poster

Boyfriend plans to move 2 hours away

105 replies

Creamorjam · 01/03/2024 23:24

Opinions /advice / previous experience.
I’m a single mum & new to dating in my 50’s with teenagers still at home with me . My boyfriend of one year is an every other weekend dad to 1 tween .He plans on moving 2 hours away to live with an old Work friend & his wife & be closer to his mum & siblings have more disposable income .But says he’ll visit and stay with me when he’s not having his son .Am I just wasting my time at this stage ? Or am I missing a trick ? Is this the way forwards ?

OP posts:
BlueGrey1 · 02/03/2024 14:05

@Obeast

I wasn’t suggesting she do it, I was asking a question

Redruby2020 · 02/03/2024 15:37

Lucy377 · 02/03/2024 12:17

When he stays at yours does he buy a big grocery shop, or anything like that.
Does he buy you and the teens a takeaway or a meal out.

Does he recognize the costs you have...or does he really not recognise all that and acts like a guest, getting food bought and cooked for him without saying a word, and taking stuff from fridge like a teenager.

Does he constantly offer to replace food he's eaten? Does he help with housework etc.

So does he show he recognizes you as an equal adult parent same as him, who has financial commitments, and responsibilities to your children? Is it apparent that he is aware that staying at yours for days, incurs extra costs in a household?

Some women, and I'm saying some, not all, before I am attacked. Are very kind they won't ask for things or expect. Then if they haven't discussed decided to live together, but the guy is there from 1/2 times upwards a week from what I have seen. They won't make them pay lol because they don't live there.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 02/03/2024 16:03

No I'm sorry but I think you're convenient for him
He's already " joked" about moving in,and I'd be wary of that
He might treat to well when you see him, and that's good, but again only when it's convenient to him.
I'm not judgemental in the slightest but I'd be concerned that, in his 50's he hasn't a secure base, hence the " joke"
Don't settle for this, when there could be a more invested nice guy close to home

Lighteningstrikes · 02/03/2024 16:13

I wouldn’t be impressed.
He sounds like he’s a bit of a free-loader who wants an easy life on the back of others including you.

Original poster
Creamorjam · 02/03/2024 19:48

Lucy377 · 02/03/2024 12:17

When he stays at yours does he buy a big grocery shop, or anything like that.
Does he buy you and the teens a takeaway or a meal out.

Does he recognize the costs you have...or does he really not recognise all that and acts like a guest, getting food bought and cooked for him without saying a word, and taking stuff from fridge like a teenager.

Does he constantly offer to replace food he's eaten? Does he help with housework etc.

So does he show he recognizes you as an equal adult parent same as him, who has financial commitments, and responsibilities to your children? Is it apparent that he is aware that staying at yours for days, incurs extra costs in a household?

He’ll pay for most of the food especially his own . Pays the lions share when we eat out & cleans the kitchen on a positive note .Has suggested a small contribution in the future when staying at mine

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